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View Poll Results: do you feel you have fulfilled your parents' expectations/wishes?

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  • yes, almost 100% !

    6 16.22%
  • pretty good,..about 70%-80% of 'em!

    14 37.84%
  • not really,..only about 30%-40% only!

    6 16.22%
  • still not, or perhaps never will! it's just damn hard!..

    11 29.73%
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Results 11 to 20 of 46

  1. #11
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Um. Actually I think I have not met them because they were lower than my own expectations. I am usually much more dissatisfied with my grades and work performance than my mother and father, which seem to think I've done totally fine so far. Probably they didn't even want me to go to college; my father a little bit more, since he saw some colleagues passing him at work due to academic experience. Basically they let me do what I wanted, since it looked like I had higher expectations for myself than what they had for me.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  2. #12
    Senior Member Feops's Avatar
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    Meeting the wishes of my parents is not a high priority in my life, but nonetheless I know that I have not met them. I'm expected to hit various material/family/career milestones at least as quickly as they did.

    For example
    - Owning a car by the age of 18.
    - Being married and starting a family by 20.
    - Owning a home by 21.
    - Employment in ones field by 22.
    - Owning other property by 25.
    - Having seniority and a high payscale by 30.

    I haven't really blundered in such a way that my parents disrespect me, but they hint at their concerns occasionally. It's a difficult position for them to express their wants without showing disappointment.

  3. #13
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    Why is there no option for "I don't give a flying crap"?

  4. #14
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Risen View Post
    Why is there no option for "I don't give a flying crap"?
    That was my immediate thought when I saw the thread title.

  5. #15
    Pumpernickel
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    Unintentionally, yes

  6. #16
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    still working on it though the only expectation they have is i get a college degree
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  7. #17
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    My parents have no expectations for me.
    Not that I know of anyway...it would be nice to hear because I think it shows a bit of interest. But on the most part I choose what I want and as long as I'm reaching my potential, thats all they care about. They're proud of me now matter what I choose to do with my life.
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

  8. #18
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    I've never figured out what my parents' expectations are.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


    _________________________________
    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

  9. #19
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    My parents never directly encouraged us to set any goals. No one ever asked me what I was going to do after HS.

    My ISFJ mom is a SAHM, working occasional office jobs when necessary, and now that we are grown she does a lot of church volunteer work. I suspect she thought my sister and I would follow a similar path or she just didn't think about it at all. I think my mom secretly wanted us to stay in a time warp and never grow up (actually she says that), and so nothing was discussed until faced directly with it.

    Degrees, careers, money, material possessions, etc, means very little to my mom. I was never pushed to do much in the way of religion either, but it's clear my mom is most happy when I make it a priority and volunteer as she does. A tight knit family is very important to her also. It's never been explicitly stated, but those are the main expectations I've been given from her. She tries very hard to keep her family tight knit. She can lay guilt trips when necessary...

    My mom and ISFP step-dad always supported my artistic inclinations though, and both appreciate culture a lot. My family always thought I would run off to Paris or something upon turning 18. Everyone in my family still holds the feeling I may disappear at the first given opportunity, and they're not half wrong. My mom accepts that I still never want kids and that I am a bit bohemian in some of my desires. She talks a lot about me meeting someone and getting married, and has decided I should meet someone who wants to travel. I think she'd feel better if someone she trusted was with me if I were to leave her general vicinity. My mom is "sneaky" about channeling her children's desires into her own "safe" version and that disturbs me sometimes, because it often works.

    For instance, when I decided to go to college to study design, no one really expressed much opinion about it, but my mom greatly discouraged me from moving away, so I chose a nearby school that was just okay when I had the qualifications to go to a very good art school. I regret the compromise, and compromise and sacrifice is something I realize my mom pushes a lot.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  10. #20
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    I haven't met the expectations of my mother or father. This is interesting as I loved both of them and they loved me.

    And it's also interesting as I am a good boy and almost always did what was wanted.

    And not meeting their expectations did damage my self esteem. However it also forced me back on my own resources. And whereas I lost self esteem, I gained self respect.

    But most of all, I have been able to follow my own heart. And my heart has not led me onto the highway of life but rather into the side roads and byways, and often off the road altogether and into the fields.

    And it has seemed to me that the highway is busy and noisy while the fields and the bush are simply beautiful.

    And where they are always rushed for time on the highway, I am rich in time. And rather than being an enemy, time is my friend.

    You see, I have time for you. And I have time to do what I want.

    I do have a cousin, Stephen, who is similar to me in ability and social background. And he did meet his parents' expectations. And he was very successful on the highway of life and met the expectations of his father and mother. But every now and then he would ring me and say, "Victor, you're interested in psychology, what do you think of this?". And strangely enough I never realised he was asking for help for I always thought of him of being capable and confident while I was the dependent one.

    But all the time he was meeting his parents' expectations he was drinking himself to death and ruining his family life. And he never got the help he wanted.

    And without help he was helplessly tied to his parents' expectations. And he was helplessly tied to the self esteem they provided. He was hooked on self esteem and never discovered himself or his self respect.
    Likes elodia liked this post

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