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  1. #31
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I'm most guilty of using the phrase when asked by someone what I think, and I have an inkling that they may not like it. It's not that I am normally dishonest at all, but I may drop the diplomatic approach I strive for and be more blunt.

    I also use "in my opinion", but I don't say "just my opinion". I know it's rather obvious it is MY opinion, but I'd rather clarify that than have someone mistakenly think I am arrogantly stating my opinion as if it is fact.

    Ah, the effort an NF puts into delicate phrasing .


    Quote Originally Posted by krunchtime View Post
    during a situation which might not call for full disclosure of information.
    I use it this way also....when it's sort of unsolicited advice.


    Quote Originally Posted by Soar337 View Post
    'To be honest' isn't as bad as 'No offense, but....'
    I don't like that one at all. It's always followed by something offensive and unnecessary. People think it's some sort of buffer for their rudeness, but it's not.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  2. #32
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    I tell people to please listen to what I am about to say with their head not their heart..

    It rarely works..

  3. #33
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    People complaining about a certain word or phrase is so cliche and pointless

  4. #34
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    I avoid the use of that phrase too, because it seems to me like one of those sort of "insincere disclaimers". I don't feel, like the OP, that it necessarily heralds intentional dishonesty in the sense they said it. But I do think it's one of those bland phrases that have lost their proper meaning, like "I'm not being funny, but..." or "I don't mean to be rude, but..." or "I'm not racist, but...". They've all sort of amalgamated into a weasely slushpit of socially acceptable ways of saying things that ought not to be socially acceptable. If someone says to me, "To be honest...", I've come to expect what follows to be either rude, insulting, dismissive or some other unsolicited bit of criticism etc., but I'm supposed to think it's okay, because they're just "being honest".

    Although, sometimes it really doesn't mean anything. It can be that some people have just got into the habit of saying it as a general catchphrase, and it doesn't denote rudeness or dishonesty or anything else - just pure habit.
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
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  5. #35
    Senior Member Soar337's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unique View Post
    People complaining about a certain word or phrase is so cliche and pointless
    You've obviously never had 'no offense but...' said to you.

    No offense, but, I find you really rude....


    <3

  6. #36
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Soar337 View Post
    You've obviously never had 'no offense but...' said to you.

    No offense, but, I find you really rude....


    That's a good one, I forgot that one, but it certainly goes along with the others I mentioned!
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  7. #37
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    What if it was just like, a figure of speech and didn't have to mean anything?

  8. #38
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by justxher View Post
    What if it was just like, a figure of speech and didn't have to mean anything?
    Quote Originally Posted by proximo View Post
    Although, sometimes it really doesn't mean anything. It can be that some people have just got into the habit of saying it as a general catchphrase, and it doesn't denote rudeness or dishonesty or anything else - just pure habit.


    Though, I personally avoid using figures of speech like that, however innocuously, because I'm aware that they've picked up a bit of a tinge about them, and it puts a lot of people on their guard. If I'm trying to communicate a genuinely harmless intent, then it's simple bad diplomacy to risk putting their hackles up like that.
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
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