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  1. #21
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    I use 'to be honest' if i am putting myself in a vulnerable position personally or i may possibly say something that may offend someone.

    The 'just my 2 cents' i use when i think i may not be adding something of value to a conversation but if you can get something from it then great.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Santtu View Post
    Do you use the phrase as the first thing to every opinion you give, or do you reserve the phrase for giving more of a "revelation", if you know what I mean?

    I'm annoyed by people who begin giving opinions with that phrase. I mean, how would I know? I would have had to see some non-honest opinions first.
    You won't know until you think through it anyway. I don't really think it justifies the correctness of the opinion, but I do prick up my ears at the sincerity of intent. And on a reciprocal basis, seeing things from their perspective/ making room for them in your worldview. But if its something like "To be honest, I think you are ugly or dumb", I'll dismiss it as childish personal attacks. Its the phrasing, tone, and a bunch of bullshit that has nothing to do with actual content. You can think of it as a "revelation" of sorts or merely an expression of repressed feelings.

  3. #23
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    I use 'to be honest' if i am putting myself in a vulnerable position personally or i may possibly say something that may offend someone.

    The 'just my 2 cents' i use when i think i may not be adding something of value to a conversation but if you can get something from it then great.
    You know, it sounds like we actually have more in common than I thought.

    See, a lot of people here (read: young INxPs) consider that kind of behavior to be manipulative or backstabbing, which is why I said on that thread a long time ago that I prefer the company of manipulative backstabbers who are indirect... because they're more polite!

    Now of course, that was based on the typical INTPs definition of "manipulative and backstabbing," which included withholding things that might hurt someone's feelings, or hinting at something in an inoffensive way rather than saying it directly. Basically, Fe.

    Basically, I was so used to FJs being defined as "lying, manipulative backstabbers" because of their politeness that it didn't occur to me that you might be thinking of ACTUAL backstabbers... the kind of people who deliberately exploit you for their own gain after gaining your trust. I don't like those kind either.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    You know, it sounds like we actually have more in common than I thought.

    See, a lot of people here (read: young INxPs) consider that kind of behavior to be manipulative or backstabbing, which is why I said on that thread a long time ago that I prefer the company of manipulative backstabbers who are indirect... because they're more polite!

    Now of course, that was based on the typical INTPs definition of "manipulative and backstabbing," which included withholding things that might hurt someone's feelings, or hinting at something in an inoffensive way rather than saying it directly. Basically, Fe.

    Basically, I was so used to FJs being defined as "lying, manipulative backstabbers" because of their politeness that it didn't occur to me that you might be thinking of ACTUAL backstabbers... the kind of people who deliberately exploit you for their own gain after gaining your trust. I don't like those kind either.
    Maybe we do ..

    The bolded part is what worries me the most .. I think people are genuinely good and as i don't backstab, i'd like to hope others wouldn't do it to me .. Reality, it goes on all the time .. And i still continue to trust
    *sigh*
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  5. #25
    Senior Member NewEra's Avatar
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    Why do people get annoyed by these sayings?

    I usually use "to be honest" if I'm about to say something which might offend someone. It is used in daily conversation to prepare them. Apparently from a thread like this, I should just stop saying "to be honest" and just insult the person directly. Looks like they'll be less offended that way.

  6. #26
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    To be honest, I'm not actually annoyed. I just wanted to see responses.

  7. #27
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    yeah i say it if what i'm about to say is possibly too blunt or hard to take.... but i feel it's important... and decided to just come out with it rather than give the polite answer.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #28
    Member StoryToTell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Soar337 View Post
    'To be honest' isn't as bad as 'No offense, but....'
    QFT

    I don't really give the phrase much thought. I tend to tack it on to what I'm saying when it's more frank than I usually am. Otherwise, I usually make a face and say "ehhh" and proceed with my opinion
    I can't remember the last time I or anyone I'm friends with used it in earnest.

  9. #29
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheChosenOne View Post
    Why do people get annoyed by these sayings?

    I usually use "to be honest" if I'm about to say something which might offend someone. It is used in daily conversation to prepare them. Apparently from a thread like this, I should just stop saying "to be honest" and just insult the person directly. Looks like they'll be less offended that way.
    I say, "To be frank." Why? Because I'm fucking frank.
    If someone doesn't like it, that's their problem. Not mine.
    These threads are getting crazier every day.

  10. #30
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    The phrase I hate most as a pre-cursor to someone speaking their mind is:

    "Trust me..."

    No thank you, trust is earned, and I just met you.
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

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