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  1. #21
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladypinkington View Post
    What is the meanest thing you have ever said to someone and also what is the meanest thing someone has ever said to you?
    There are so many and in all honesty to me they are all on par, but to save typing all of them my one example would people using my past against me, ie implying that any abuse I recieved as a child or as a wife was deserved because I am too worthless for anything better. Those insults have cut deeply.

    I think the worst thing I have ever said to someone I truly cared about, was that I didn't love them when loving them mattered more than anything else.


    What did you do or say after it was said in both instances?
    From the original user of the insult, I did nothing but weep like a wimp, when someone online has said it I have been unable to do anything, but the one instance in real life where someone dared to say that again, I used violence to respond.

    When I said what I said, I broke and cried and tried to take it back, and still spend everyday making sure that this person dear to me knows that I never meant it and that I was in a dark place at the time.

    How do you handle it when people say mean things to you?
    I've never handled it well, not only do I react violently, I also take in what they have said and believe it, and it haunts me, and my self esteem, which is pretty non existant in the first place, takes another battering.


    Do you feel bad and even notice if you say mean things to others?
    Yes, even if they don't react to it, my guilt overwhelms me, I do not like to hurt others in the way they hurt me, my insults only go so far. I would never take a persons past and use it to inflict pain on them, and yet I know others who happily do so.

    I think someone was banned here once for using that kind of insult towards another member. I don't think you could go any lower tbh.
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  2. #22
    full of love Kingfisher's Avatar
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    ^^BerberElla, that is terrible. i think that is the most terrible and hurtfull thing anyone can say. there is nothing you are or could have done to deserve abuse. any time someone says something like that, it is just a sad justification made by a sad person.

    my father used to tell me after he beat me that i deserved what i got, that it was my fault, that i brought it on myself. as a kid, that made me hate him more than any beating he could give me.

  3. #23
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Said to others: nothing of note or that comes to mind

    Said to me: "F*CK YOU, YOU F*CKING C*NT B*TCH!! MOTHER F*CKING EVIL B*TCH!!"

    The joys of working in retail...

  4. #24
    Senior Member MonkeyGrass's Avatar
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    (((Berb))) That's just so wrong.

    Oh, wow. I've said some horrible things to people.

    The worst two are, "If you keep this up, you're going to die a lonely old person with no one to care for you" (nice.) and "Your mom doesn't love you." (classy.) I still regret saying those things. Even if they were true. They were said in a fit of immature passion, and it still makes me feel sick to my stomach to think about it.


    Meanest thing ever said to me...hmm...

    "You're never going to succeed. When you try XYZ, you're going to fall flat on your face, you know."

    "No wonder so and so left you...you're impossible". (if it had been true, I wouldn't consider it so mean, but coming from my mom about an abusive boyfriend...not so pretty)

    My spouse and I have said all sorts of horrid things to each other, but I think most of the sting is removed by the fact that we know very well the other person is lashing out irrationally and will apologize sheepishly after eating a sandwich.
    I think I think more than you think I think.

  5. #25
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    The meanest thing I ever said (I was 4 and I said it to my swimming teacher):
    - You stink and your nose lights up!

    The meanest thing anyone ever said to me (I was 14 and heavily depressed, tried to fit in everywhere and to be liked by everyone, didn't hurt a fly):
    - O, my, god. Why are you smiling? Well, I didn't see anything funny around here! Nobody made a joke! Where you smiling because of one of those creepy voices in your head? Don't say you don't have creepy voices in your head, I know you talk to yourself! And like, o my god, why are you always so mean to everyone? Look at how many people's lives you have ruined! You bully like everyone, you're stalking David (David lived about 200 miles away), you're a sick liar, everyone hates you, blablablabla... (This monologue took half an hour)
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
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  6. #26
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladypinkington View Post
    What is the meanest thing you have ever said to someone and also what is the meanest thing someone has ever said to you?
    Wow. That's a lot of lifetime to cover... and I could really be quite the bitch with "one-line zingers" when I was younger, if I felt insanely provoked.

    I usually don't say mean things to people nowadays... or it's just marginally mean in the interests of making a point.

    I usually don't wield derogatory names (a-hole, bitch, etc.) to be mean, nor does it bother me as much when someone else does it to me even I sense they're trying to hurt me. It's the more personal stuff, where my motives are slandered or my self-worth is attacked or someone is trying to shame me somehow, where I get really upset.

    So in recent years, a situation with my dad where he called me lots of unfair/mean things and spread blatant lies about me to other family members (yes, he's a real piece of work), plus some incidents here on the forum where some people consistently disparaged my motives just because they had personal issues of their own, are probably the things I found "meanest." I was pissed off the other day on a different forum when someone who never really talked to me basically discredited me for playing along in a joke thread on a particular issue; I just thought it was petty because it was obviously a joke thread, he didn't have a sense of humor, he never told me he respected me, and now I find out I somehow "lost his respect and should have known better" for participating in a joke thread when he was the one who needed to chill since he wasn't even related to what was being joked about.

    That sort of junk.

    As far as me being mean... oh gee, I just thought of something horrible, and it goes back literally 20-25 years or so... there was this kid in our high school sunday school class who was a tough guy but you could tell a lot of it was an act and he was really insecure, which was why he was acting out all the time; and he disclosed something to me (I can't remember what it was - I think he had something he wasn't supposed to have) that was very personal to him and later on for some reason (had he irked me? or did I just do it to be a jerk, because I could?) I disclosed it openly during Sunday School in front of the teacher and our other peers in the room (there were maybe 5-6 of us)... and he was SO hurt that he just utterly flipped out and actually came over the table and a few of the guys had to hold him down.

    I don't know why I did it, except out of some perverse pleasure or to get back at him for something.

    What really sucked is that his life never got better and about ten years ago he killed himself playing Russian Roulette. It still disturbs me. I can't blame myself for that, his life had lots of issues, but I wish I had been better.

    What did you do or say after it was said in both instances?
    I always tried to make up, when it was my fault; and if someone wants to apologize and make amends and means it, I'll agree to it. I don't like to close people out, what's the point of that? But I've learned that I need to put up boundaries with mean people who don't care they're being mean. I apologized profusely for the event I described above.

    How do you handle it when people say mean things to you?
    Nowadays even if it hurts, I just generally blow it off. I might return a sharp comment if it's appropriate, but usually I'm thinking long-term. On occasion I have to go stew/vent elsewhere just to get the annoyance out of my system. I mean, I'm older now, and most of the stuff that used to bother me no longer does... it's just words, or stupidity on the other person's part, and it doesn't affect who I know I am or my life in general.

    Do you feel bad and even notice if you say mean things to others?
    I'm very aware of the possible interpretations of the things I say. If I say anything (even some of the jokes I make), I am aware of how someone might take them. However, I spent most of my life neurotically worrying about having someone take me wrongly in my comments, and now I just sort of figure if they choose to read too much into them, that is their issue and not mine. I don't go out of my way to offend, but I will not coddle people anymore.

    So, bottom-line, yes, I do feel bad on some level if someone is hurt by something I say; but if I have assessed it and think that the issue was them and not me, then I'm not going to apologize or try to make them feel better, they need to work through it. If I do sense I was being mean or trying to push buttons (or if I really stepped in a minefield and it wasn't unreasonable for them to feel offended), then I'll apologize.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kingfisher View Post
    my father used to tell me after he beat me that i deserved what i got, that it was my fault, that i brought it on myself. as a kid, that made me hate him more than any beating he could give me.
    Yeah. that's the sort of crap that really destroys someone.

    The body heals, the emotions ebb... but the way we are taught to see the world sticks with us for many many years, and if it's distorted like that, life is hell.
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  7. #27
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    Meanest thing I've done? Well, I was 12 and My ENFP sister was making me so mad. She was saying crap to me and just poking at me....so I called her a f***ing b***h and I threw her down this really steep hill that was nothing but rocks... she went flying all the way down. She wasn't hurt too bad though.

    Meanest thing said/done to me. I think it was the time my mother looked me straight in the eye and told me that she hated me. I was 13. That killed me inside.
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
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  8. #28
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Wow, some of these are seriously harsh. I think I've been lucky/had a fairly sheltered life/am a fairly inoffensive person who also likes to avoid conflict

    One mean thing said to me that stands out was when discussing a friend and her boyfriend with a couple of other "friends". One of them said "she's so possessive/paranoid about him..." I said "She's not that way with me around him", and one of them said "yes, but you're not a threat."

    I know compared to some of the stuff in this thread this is small beans, but "you're not a threat" has to be one of the bitchiest thing one woman can say to another. I was younger and more innocent then and my bitch-radar was less attuned than it is now. So I think it was literally years later that it hit me just how bitchy that was!! The appropriate response, in all honesty, would have been "and you think you're a threat, you fat cow?" Not that I ever would, but I kind of wish I had said that...

    Meanest thing I've ever said to anyone? I've told a couple of people that they were using me, but honestly, it was kind of true... I also had a couple of horrible arguments with my mom but I'm not sure any one thing I said in them was exceptionally mean. If it was, it would still haunt me 15 years later, for sure.
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  9. #29
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Can't think of a single thing I ever said to anyone that was mean. also can't remember a single thing someone has ever said to me that I had problems with.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  10. #30
    Senior Member vince's Avatar
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    Never said anything to anyone that was really mean. Someone told me once "I'd be very hansom if my nose wasn't so big" LOL I can live with that. you know what they say about men with big noses...

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