I was hoping someone would relate to this somewhat. I can be a pretty confrontational/aggressive guy, but, depending on the context, it's often simply a funny façade to tease other people. It's part of my way to interact with the world. I can be cynical, sarcastic and prickish with a lot of silliness thrown into the mix, but I find it hard to stop the "act" because it has become a part of who I am, and how I feel comfortable with. I guess that's how an ENFP can test as enneagram 8.
Even though I often play the part of the tough guy, I'm very comfortable showing my sensitive side to others, and I assume most people get I'm just joking when I act more abrasive the reminder of the time.
The truth of the matter is though, I seem to hurt people sometimes (often FJs) because they tend to take me too literally on my banter-like comments, which I admit, can be pretty out there sometimes I guess.
I relate a lot to ENTPs (I have high Ti) in that sort of "the prick" way. I am however governed by my Fi and genuinely want everyone to get along for the most part. I can't seem to remain too long in "sincere feely mode" though (probably related to enneagram type 8) without feeling all weird.
I also noticed that when I'm nice (I'm never "nice" unless I have a reason to be) for too long I lose my sense of self to a certain extent and feel like I'm not showing people my best side - which I would describe as an immensity of Fi covered with Ne and faux-Te (my grumpy self) and Ti (cynical and witty) in a funny, happy-go-lcuky way. When I'm overtly nice I lose control of social interaction...a position I don't like being in. I'm not a leader, I'm a maverick, but I like feeling what I say has some sort of impact. And I have to tease people lest my brain die. But some can't seem to take it too well.
This is mainly aimed at ENTPs because I feel they might be on the same boat but : should one give up on being a smartass/prickish/confrontational/whatever, our natural way of interacting with the world, to avoid hurting the ones we love? Or should we accept ourselves for who we are and understand that not everyone will get our brand of interaction?
Empathy and being caring come naturally to me...but my pride tells me I should be allowed to be how I am if I'm not murdering little babies in the process. As an 8 being sweet and nice all the time just isn't my modus operandi I'm afraid.
What say you (yeah you, the guy who kept reading)?