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  1. #171
    Rubber Nipple Salesperson ladypinkington's Avatar
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    If you don't use good manners the terrorists win!
    Me and hubby made an RPG Nutrition Game
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  2. #172
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Manners, such fraudulent behaviour. Psh!
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  3. #173
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Seeing the actual disdain that some people have for manners surprises me a bit. I can't imagine taking personal insult just because someone opened a door for me. Sounds stressful. I hardly doubt I'm undoing 100 years of social progress just because I position myself street-side when walking down the sidewalk with a woman.

    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    It's often been said that you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat people they do not know. Like waitstaff, for example.
    Yup. Manners are meant for mass consumption. There are ways beyond opening doors to show someone they are special to me. I'm wary of anyone that is polite to someone they have a desire to incur favor with, yet ambivalent to everyone else.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Manners, such fraudulent behaviour. Psh!
    I think it shows a healthy respect for society. If you don't have that respect, then yeah, doing so might be seen as fraudulent.

  4. #174
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Well, I have manners. Just go find an ISTJ guy.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #175
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Seeing the actual disdain that some people have for manners surprises me a bit. I can't imagine taking personal insult just because someone opened a door for me. Sounds stressful. I hardly doubt I'm undoing 100 years of social progress just because I position myself street-side when walking down the sidewalk with a woman.



    Yup. Manners are meant for mass consumption. There are ways beyond opening doors to show someone they are special to me. I'm wary of anyone that is polite to someone they have a desire to incur favor with, yet ambivalent to everyone else.



    I think it shows a healthy respect for society. If you don't have that respect, then yeah, doing so might be seen as fraudulent.

    Good thoughts, Udog. I'm surprised at the disdain for manners displayed here, too.
    Something Witty

  6. #176
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Good thoughts, Udog. I'm surprised at the disdain for manners displayed here, too.
    From my end, I don't think it diminishes someone's power to be the recipient of politeness. Just because I open a door or give up my seat on a bus, it doesn't mean I think the person needs it. I'm fully aware they will probably manage just fine without my help. All it means is that if I'm able to, they don't have to.

    I think being able to receive politeness graciously is a skill as well. That's likely a different can of worms, though.

  7. #177
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    I like to explain it this way.

    Giving a woman your seat isn't indicative of her needing the seat more, it's indicative of you needing the seat less.

    More importantly, it's indicative of the quality of your character and your ability to put the needs of others first.

    Lastly, it indicates that one's parents where diligent enough to instill these values (this of course leading to the assumption that one comes from good stock).

    This argument has one tragic flaw. That being the assumption that the Person demonstrating manners actually buys into the theory of manners and isn't just making the other person happy. To rectify this, we must look at manners over the course of an individual's lifetime.

    I would posit that one doesn't start out doing this because they want to, they do it b/c their parents tell them to.

    However, I would also posit that as one ages, they come to see the importance of manners, and truly begin to believe the underpinnings of why gentlemen do what they do.

  8. #178
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit View Post
    I like to explain it this way.

    Giving a woman your seat isn't indicative of her needing the seat more, it's indicative of you needing the seat less.

    More importantly, it's indicative of the quality of your character and your ability to put the needs of others first.

    Lastly, it indicates that one's parents where diligent enough to instill these values (this of course leading to the assumption that one comes from good stock).

    This argument has one tragic flaw. That being the assumption that the Person demonstrating manners actually buys into the theory of manners and isn't just making the other person happy. To rectify this, we must look at manners over the course of an individual's lifetime.

    I would posit that one doesn't start out doing this because they want to, they do it b/c their parents tell them to.

    However, I would also posit that as one ages, they come to see the importance of manners, and truly begin to believe the underpinnings of why gentlemen do what they do.
    My daughter has never come to me and said "I want to learn manners today Mommy." However she has always wanted to help. Help me, her Dad, our different families, her friends. She has displayed over time the need or want to do things for other people, starting very young. She started out wanting to "share" her bottle and pacifier with other babies. Every other kid I have known closely has done similar things as well.

    I really doubt some of these answers on this thread.

  9. #179
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    Look. I hold doors open for everyone, and I'm a girl. It is my experience actually that women are more likely to do this than men. If the person's hands are full ESPECIALLY. If I could count the amount of times a door has closed in front of a poor struggling person cuz of some guy on his cell phone....urgh. I usually go open it for them, haha, I find that mean to leave them there.

    It's not necessary to hold doors? But it's kind. Men and women BOTH should do it. And please please please do it when people actually need you to.
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

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  10. #180
    Senior Member Feops's Avatar
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    The guys stopped being gentlemen when the gals stopped being ladies.

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