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  1. #111
    Pumpernickel
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I would give up my seat to a woman and to anyone elderly or handicapped or otherwise burdened. I don't mind standing at all. I've spent entire bus trips standing and being the only person standing.
    Did you just group women with elderly and handicapped??


  2. #112
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I would think it would imply that you are showing respect to someone who is an elder by putting his comfort ahead of your own. It is the same principal as being a good host. You offer what you have to those that will benefit most.

  3. #113
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by justxher View Post
    Did you just group women with elderly and handicapped??

    How old are you? I might need to adjust my approach.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  4. #114
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I would give up my seat to a woman and to anyone elderly or handicapped or otherwise burdened. I don't mind standing at all. I've spent entire bus trips standing and being the only person standing.
    Me, too. I don't understand why so many are choosing to see manners as a burden rather than simple consideration. I also don't understand why so many men wouldn't give up their seat on the subway for a woman carrying a heavy package or something. I have done that, as a matter of consideration.

    Perhaps this is also a matter of compatibility. I wouldn't be comfortable dating someone that begrudged using manners towards me. Sure, I'm an INTP, and I don't like arbitrary rules, traditions, etc, to a certain extent. But I have never seen manners as anything but a good thing. Something that makes socializing more pleasant, and (generally) makes people feel good. Unless they enjoy being ornery.
    Something Witty

  5. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I would think it would imply that you are showing respect to someone who is an elder by putting his comfort ahead of your own. It is the same principal as being a good host. You offer what you have to those that will benefit most.
    But at the same time you are isolating him from a group of people as the weakest one who would benefit most. Why do you think you can make that kind of judgement?

  6. #116
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Me, too. I don't understand why so many are choosing to see manners as a burden rather than simple consideration. I also don't understand why so many men wouldn't give up their seat on the subway for a woman carrying a heavy package or something. I have done that, as a matter of consideration.

    Perhaps this is also a matter of compatibility. I wouldn't be comfortable dating someone that begrudged using manners towards me. Sure, I'm an INTP, and I don't like arbitrary rules, traditions, etc, to a certain extent. But I have never seen manners as anything but a good thing. Something that makes socializing more pleasant, and (generally) makes people feel good. Unless they enjoy being ornery.
    It's often been said that you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat people they do not know. Like waitstaff, for example.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  7. #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    How old are you? I might need to adjust my approach.
    ...

    I'd say you probably need to adjust your approach despite my age.

  8. #118
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by justxher View Post
    But at the same time you are isolating him from a group of people as the weakest one who would benefit most. Why do you think you can make that kind of judgement?
    Consideration is not about weakness. It's about recognizing your role.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  9. #119
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by justxher View Post
    But at the same time you are isolating him from a group of people as the weakest one who would benefit most. Why do you think you can make that kind of judgement?
    If the older person chooses to take it that way, he can refuse the seat or pitch a fit or whatever he wishes to do. The vast majority will see it for what it is--a gesture of kindness and unselfishness.
    Something Witty

  10. #120
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Should you respect an old pedophile or murderer just because they are old?
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

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