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  1. #91
    Pumpernickel
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Tater View Post
    Next time I see a hot smoking babe, I'm going to spit in her face to see if we engage in love-making exercises afterwords.
    Hmm that might actually be interesting

  2. #92
    Black Magic Buzzard Kra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Indifference is failure to consider. In some ways this error is more egregious than outright disrespect.
    That seems to derive from the external world's own ego or self-centric nature. My point is that indifference of this nature, at this level, only harms those who let it.
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  3. #93
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Manners to some extent tell people more about you than you making a statement about them. (Eg women are weak so that's why we hold doors for them etc). Whether or not someone behaves in the way they ought to, you treat others with consideration because you are a decent respectable person, not necessarily because they are. It shows that you have learned to think about someone else's comfort, and focus on more than your own needs or what you will get out of it.

    As far as "being true to yourself" by not being "insincere" and doing what is expected of you - a disorderly person who is trying to become more orderly is not being phony. They are considering how their inclination towards disorderliness affects themselves and others. There are many things that are not naturally a part of our natures, yet we can agree that they may be worth striving for, either because they will ultimately benefit us or because it is a way of showing consideration to the people around us.

    Women are essentially different than men and not only because of the set of reproductive organs they possess. I don't think there's anything wrong with recognizing that. In fact, by insisting women are the same as men and therefore equal, you actually are making women second class by not recognizing their unique strengths they possess which are different than men's.

    I find it odd that the same women that balk at a man opening a door for them don't seem to mind if he hangs up the Christmas tree lights when it is 40 below...

  4. #94
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    ^^^ But I thought it was a woman's perogative to have her cake and eat it too...
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #95
    Black Magic Buzzard Kra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by une_autre View Post
    Say that you have a particular type of fire door, that has a very rigid spring which makes it slam very hard.
    Given this specific door, not holding it open would mean slamming it on a person.
    And unless obvious circumstances prevent you from holding a door e.g. holding heavy objects, to me, skipping this simple piece of manner, to call it so, it is rude and unnecessary.

    The problem is not reduced to this simple example, but manners are in a way the oil on the hinges of this society. It gets dry, it's going to screech.
    Point taken, but the world is never so black and white, or consistent as this discussion of manners would imply.

    For instance, fire exits are commonly not used unless in case of an emergency. Said emergency is a case of exceptional circumstances, and is handled as such.

    Not to nitpick, but just because I don't usually cater to those outside the monkeysphere, doesn't mean that I won't change my behavioral patterns in extreme circumstances.

    Though manners may oil the hinges, perhaps some of the screeching ones are unnecessary all together.
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  6. #96
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Respect yes. But manners is about respecting tradition and social etiquette. Not the individual per se.

    You aren't opening doors to people. You're opening doors to "women". So, it's not about the individual, but the group.
    Yes, this exactly ^.

    I'm ISFP, I'm all about considering and helping others in small practical ways. But if it has no ties to reality other than tradition then I would feel disingenious doing it, like I'm putting on an act for them.

    One geniune act of kindness is worth a thousand empty gestures.
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

    Quinlan's Creations

  7. #97
    Pumpernickel
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    But if you give up your seat on the subway to an old man, but not to a younger man, aren't you actively demonstrating that you think this man is weak

  8. #98
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    Yes, this exactly ^.

    I'm ISFP, I'm all about considering and helping others in small practical ways. But if it has no ties to reality other than tradition then I would feel disingenious doing it, like I'm putting on an act for them.

    One geniune act of kindness is worth a thousand empty gestures.
    Woot! Go, Fi, go! We don't need no stinkin' Fe!

    (Well, except when we get blindsided by social expectations and accidentally communicate the wrong thing.)

  9. #99
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    Women are essentially different than men and not only because of the set of reproductive organs they possess. I don't think there's anything wrong with recognizing that. In fact, by insisting women are the same as men and therefore equal, you actually are making women second class by not recognizing their unique strengths they possess which are different than men's.
    I one day hope to attain your Yoda level of social analysis!

  10. #100
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Manners to some extent tell people more about you than you making a statement about them. (Eg women are weak so that's why we hold doors for them etc). Whether or not someone behaves in the way they ought to, you treat others with consideration because you are a decent respectable person, not necessarily because they are. It shows that you have learned to think about someone else's comfort, and focus on more than your own needs or what you will get out of it.
    I never thought of it that way at all. Holding the door for someone etc is just a nice thing to do, it's a friendly gesture. Nothing more for me.

    In fact, by insisting women are the same as men and therefore equal, you actually are making women second class by not recognizing their unique strengths they possess which are different than men's.
    This doesn't really make sense. The standard that I follow in my mind dictates that people are people, and they deserve to be treated equally as genders. I fail to see how there is a "second class," there would just be division since going by your line of reasoning both genders have unique strengths (I'm not sure by what you mean by this).
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

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