Have you ever noticed that it seems like it's only easy to find something when you don't want or need it, but then the moment you start seeking it out, it seems to hide and require a lot more work to find, if you can find it at all?
Yep, especially for me. I always admired my ESTJ boyfriend who could direct anyone to any object in his apartment or office whether he was present or not, with 100% accuracy. I usually have two or three good guesses and even then, it seems like the paper I need disappears solely for the window of time in which it would be useful, then reappears. Same with mittens in the winter time.
Interesting mind trick. It's all about focus. You don't notice how many things you don't find, because you don't care about most of the things you aren't finding.
You only bother to notice that something isn't around if you want/need it.
Well, actually, I was thinking of people.
People generally don't want to talk to you if you don't show up already with people, since it makes them concerned you're unfriendly. They also are more comfortable if you're on a routine, which is very hard to get on if you have nothing motivating you to stay on one yet. Lastly, they like people who are interested in things and seem extremely content/confident, and it's very difficult to develop an interest in things or become totally content/confident if you feel too isolated.
Essentially, friends/acquaintances, or other conversations, are a lot like loans. You can only get them if you can prove you don't need them. If I had all the traits I need to get friends or acquaintances, I would probably not want any. The way the world works is frustrating.
Of course, this also applies to other things I look for, like misplaced books.