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  1. #31
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    My mom and I have an interdependent relationship.

    She is Korean, and I am her youngest daughter, my eldest sister moved to NYC while my other sister helps financially but is never around.

    I help my mom out, (financially), as much as I can, but more so than that, I'm there for her.

    We help each other out, have each others best interest always in mind, and we keep each other company.

    I love her, and will never abandon her.

    If she ever needs me to do something, I'll do everything in my power to help get and give her what she needs.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  2. #32
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    OMG!!!

    Sorry, just now read some more posts.

    I do not believe in any relationship where one agent just takes, while the other just gives, eww!!!!!

    Never forget where you came from, never take life, and people for granted.

    Give back more than you receive!!!

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  3. #33
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Cascade makes a good point that this may be a phenomenon that my financial level allows me to see more frequently. The perks of middle classedness. Perhaps this is fairly rare in general.



    Even though I'm quoting Quinlan, many of you made a good point with this.

    Here's part of my concern, though: I'm not seeing the interdependence. (For the record, I'm all about the symbiosis that occurs between interdependent adults.) This is usually one way. The child depends on parents for money, knowledge, time, and resources, but when the parent needs something from the child, the child suddenly can't spare the effort or time to help.

    It often appears far more parasitic than symbiotic in my observations.
    Maybe in those families it rolls downhill. My parents would be embarrassed to accept monetary help from me and have made it clear that they never would. They used to get help from my grandmother, though, and they are "paying it forward" to the next generation. And it's clear that the expectation is that I will do the same with my kids when they're adults, if they need it.

    Of course we all help each other with non-money-related stuff. I agree what you described is kind of gross.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  4. #34
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    I would never dream of going to my parents to bail me out financially.

    My shit, i have to sort it. If i am irresponsible with money, then i should pay the consequence.

    I want a down payment for my house, then i have to find it.

    I know my parents would help out if i needed it but i would never dare ask.

    What i find ridiculously stupid is the fact my parents are worth more dead than alive. I don't want their cash. Spend it now and have some fun whilst your still sane.

    Or save it so i can put you in a nice retirement home.

    Parents will say they had it harder than us growing up so what do they do, they make it easy for us. Doesn't make sense. Ahhh, guilt.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  5. #35
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    The child depends on parents for money, knowledge, time, and resources, but when the parent needs something from the child, the child suddenly can't spare the effort or time to help.

    It often appears far more parasitic than symbiotic in my observations.
    Wouldn't you say that it typically follows that those with the most resources have the most to give? Usually, throughout the life cycle, the parent has more to give than the child. They have accumulated wealth, knowledge, and sometimes emotional resources. Sometimes the child does have more to give than the parent, and I know quite a few adult children who now, and even as young children, cared for their parents emotionally and sometimes even financially.

    I haven't seen the parasitic relationships that you're talking about, but they sound dysfunctional, and my bet is that they were dysfunctional long before the child became an adult. If that's the case, my bet is that you're simply seeing an outward manifestation of an long ago broken relationship.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  6. #36
    The Architect Alwar's Avatar
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    HOW DARE FAMILY HELP ONE ANOTHER WHAT AN ABOMINATION OF NATURE

  7. #37
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    LIFE IS INHERENTLY HARD!!!!

    What's so wrong with asking/getting/giving/letting people help one and other?!!?

    I try to help as many people as I possibly can, why?

    Because I know life is hard, so if there is anything I can do that can make life a teensy bit easier for someone else, OF COURSE I'LL HELP!!!

    This is kind of on topic, for those who don't follow.

    A community should act like a support group.

    Everyone should be helping everyone out.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  8. #38
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Cascade makes a good point that this may be a phenomenon that my financial level allows me to see more frequently. The perks of middle classedness. Perhaps this is fairly rare in general.



    Even though I'm quoting Quinlan, many of you made a good point with this.

    Here's part of my concern, though: I'm not seeing the interdependence. (For the record, I'm all about the symbiosis that occurs between interdependent adults.) This is usually one way. The child depends on parents for money, knowledge, time, and resources, but when the parent needs something from the child, the child suddenly can't spare the effort or time to help.

    It often appears far more parasitic than symbiotic in my observations.
    Obviously I can't know the examples that you're thinking of so I'm only talking generally. I think we do have to be careful sometimes as outside observors we see only a fraction of the picture and the "give and take" can be over a lifetime and won't neccessarily be in terms of finance. How priceless is attention/company for the young and old?
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

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  9. #39
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alwar View Post
    HOW DARE FAMILY HELP ONE ANOTHER WHAT AN ABOMINATION OF NATURE
    Lulz, for real, yo!!!
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  10. #40
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    LIFE IS INHERENTLY HARD!!!!

    What's so wrong with asking/getting/giving/letting people help one and other?!!?

    I try to help as many people as I possibly can, why?

    Because I know life is hard, so if there is anything I can do that can make life a teensy bit easier for someone else, OF COURSE I'LL HELP!!!

    This is kind of on topic, for those who don't follow.

    A community should act like a support group.

    Everyone should be helping everyone out.
    Except for the word community which freaks me out, I agree
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

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