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  1. #1
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Default Ne dominants and social life

    ENXPs, describe your social life and what it means to you.

    I never really had a particularly active social life. And it's starting to come to my attention how it has helped shape my personality throughout the years. External stimulation and curbing of Ne was often done more with the help of games, music, movies, books...fantasy. I have no difficulties making friends when in a new environment, but have two main circles of friends I've kept throughout the years, only one of which I really spent time with/in regularly (weekends mostly).

    Recently though, I've started really urging for more intense and varied social interaction and I'm curious how much of I relate to other ENFPs in this way (I'm 23 btw). It used to be a non-issue for me, but I guess I've never felt content with my social life. I started paying less attention to art and stuff than I once did though, so when I'm bored I'm more inclined to think of social interaction and not...say....playing the new Halo zomg!

    I wanted to know how much importance you people have put in social interaction, throughout the years. Was/is it paramount to you, in order to feel happy?

    Also, I often find myself torn between intellectual curbing and silly-switch social curbing. And due to inferiror Si, I think, I have a tendency of misconstruing how much fun I've actually had in the past lol and always feels like I haven't lived life to the fullest. Part of it has to do with not having the means to always do I wanted or being among people who shared my likes I'd say...but I'm not sure anymore. But it is somehow connected to fitting in, I'm sure. I always pictured myself in a group of great friends doing all kinds of stuff and satisfying whims and travelling etc...and the reality is much more boring.


    So, after that nap, what are your thoughts on this and your personal view on the importance of social life and/or external stimulation for you, as an ENXP? Can you fathom any patterns? What about your experience? Does it make you happy?

  2. #2
    Riva
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    More of a happiness due to the results I create out of my actions.

    I really enjoy that.

    Fe

  3. #3
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Curzon View Post
    More of a happiness due to the results I create out of my actions.

    I really enjoy that.

    Fe
    Like what?

  4. #4
    Riva
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Like what?
    like F(e)ucking around.

  5. #5
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    I used to have an active social life. I had a lot of friends and acquaintances. Time passed and I got less and less contact with my friends (because I wasn't allowed to use IM anymore and I suffered telephoniophobia for two years) and after a few years I lost them. Of course I had a bunch of acquaintances left, but they annoyed me. They stopped me from getting what I wanted, but I felt pretty lonely. So I could choose: become friends with them and hope that they won't stop me anymore, or avoiding their company. I chose to kill my social life and I think it was one of the best decisions I ever made. It was pretty tough in the beginning, but now I'm more confident than ever and I don't need anyone anymore. But of course I hope I can move to another town soon and start my (social) life all over again, because being alone starts to bore me as well. I'm getting tired of always having to entertain myself.
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  6. #6
    Senior Member ZiL's Avatar
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    I like to have a wide variety of acquaintances, because it is through other and varied people that I learn new things - points of view, ways to have fun, etc - best through other people. Social life is just one more way of exploring the world. I might seem sort fo flaky to some because I switch gears so much depending on who I'm with, but that's just a function of wanting to discover new ways of seeing first hand. My ways of interaction alter slightly, but my curiosity is the driving constant.

    I do, however, have a small group of very close friends, and they are like my comfort zone.
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  7. #7
    Systematic chaos Cenomite's Avatar
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    Sytpg: I can relate to pretty much everything you said about your social life. The only different thing, is that I often feel like I've had much more fun in the past, instead of feeling of feeling like it was dull. I have a harder time having fun when I'm actually doing things; the good memories come when I reflect back on them later.

    To answer your questions...

    ENXPs, describe your social life and what it means to you.
    ...
    what are your thoughts on this and your personal view on the importance of social life and/or external stimulation for you, as an ENXP? Can you fathom any patterns? What about your experience? Does it make you happy?
    My social life, like most people's social lives I'd guess, is made up of about 5 very close friends, and a bunch of scattered acquaintances who I talk to every now and then. My social life pretty much centers around my close friends, with the acquaintances saving me from boring routine stuff every now and again. Whenever I get an invite from some random acquaintance, I ridiculously happy that I get to do something out of the ordinary. These opportunities don't really come enough though, and I feel bored a lot, and like I'm not living life as fully as I want.

    I feel like I'm always the one who has to drag people I know to do stuff, and fight and sell to people to get them to come along. It seems like a lot of people I know are content just chilling around most days, which I'm just not content doing. I like getting out every now and again, even if it's just to walk across the road to grab coffee. I almost never decline an invite to do something out of the house.

    That's my social life. In terms of what it means to me, it's pretty much everything. There are three areas of life that I need to be going well for me to be legitimately happy: social life, academics, and relationships. If one of those is sucking at the moment, it sucks the life out of me.

    I'd also like to expand my social boundaries so I have stuff to do more than I do now, but I'm pretty content with the friends I have now as it is. I still feel "trapped" sometimes though, since most people I know don't like getting out as much as I do.

    No idea if that helped you or not.
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  8. #8
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    I currently, (as in today, right now), do not have a social life.

    I will re-answer this question when I am feeling less misanthropic.

    Meeting people is easy, keeping them is not.

    I go all for some reason.

    I guess I'm troubled.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

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  9. #9
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    yeah i'm with chick on this one.
    I'm either uber sociable or not at all.

    But i don't see it as a flaw or anything, it's just that i'm not always interested by what most people have to offer.
    I'm not sure i could live without people around me in the long run tho, it makes me feel all lonely and stuff, the more i see people the more i need to see people i'd say.

    In any case i'd die horribly without some constant source of stimulation that's for sure.

    and yeah, meeting people IS easy, I've never seen it as an obstacle to confront or anything.
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  10. #10
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    I have no social life right now. I'm sort of in the middle of a 1/3 life crisis. Changing careers, settling into a new house, getting married etc. I kinda go through this cycle every few years, revamp myself and then get back out socializing. No matter where I'm at in the cycle, I only keep in touch with the same 5/6 close friends. When I'm in socializing mood I will have many buddies to do things with, but it is rare that someone actually makes it to friend status.

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