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  1. #11
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    how do you become pretenious? my friends told me I could not pull it off, so i naturally took that as a challenge, so tell me of your ways.
    The only sin you can commit in Australia is to be pretentious.

    And I love pretending.

    But you should be careful about what you pretend to be, for that is what you will become.

    Of course rather than being pretentious you could keep on reciting the conventional wisdom in a literal minded way.

    I wonder why you bother. I mean almost everyone is conventionally wise and literal minded.

    Still, I guess your lust to belong leaves your desire for freedom in the dust.

    And lust in the dust pretends to be nothing it is not.

    Indeed your cultural imperative is to distance yourself from the phony and embrace the sincere.

    So your cultural imperative teaches you that the phony are pretentious and the sincere are unpretentious.

    And all of us want to be good and be seen to be good, so naturally we want to be unpretentious and be seen to be unpretentious - to belong and to be seen to belong to your culture and its cultural imperatives.

    And how natural, as it is the job of mothers to teach the cultural imperatives to their children so that they will come to belong.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    And I love pretending.
    We all know that.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Go buy a Radiohead album.

    No..but really..if you want to be pretentious, pretend you're apart of the 'cause'. I guess the cause these days is Going Green, stopping Global Warming, ending War, etc etc. It's in. The key is trying to create the illusion that you are in support of these things, whether it be through tie die, excessive peace signs, or your Prius. And don't forget your Beatles t-shirts. You'll need at least 10. Wear them at least 15 days a week. Call yourself a flower child and tell everyone your hero is Ghandi. But don't overdo it. That would be bad.

    It's all about your fucking rep. These people don't even give a shit about any of these things.

    Where's the soul gone to..
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  4. #14
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    And don't forget your Beatles t-shirts. You'll need at least 10. Wear them at least 15 days a week.
    Not eight days a week?

    @OP: Have tastes that are just one step above your peers -- it's low enough that they know what you're talking about and you're not just confusing them, but high enough that they seem refined to them.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  5. #15
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    Not eight days a week?

    @OP: Have tastes that are just one step above your peers -- it's low enough that they know what you're talking about and you're not just confusing them, but high enough that they seem refined to them.
    Hah. If you're making a Beatles reference, and I think you are, then that is what I meant

    But in general, I was trying to overemphasize how over the top some people are.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  6. #16
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Hah. If you're making a Beatles reference, and I think you are, then that is what I meant

    But in general, I was trying to overemphasize how over the top some people are.
    Yep. Drop 'clever' references everywhere.

    What I mean is: say a lot of your friends consider themselves to know about music. If you go on and on about how vinyl is the only way to go, that anything less is just shit, that's pretentious. Saying you read and understood Ulysses with the same crowd is not going to help you there.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  7. #17
    Senior Member Gewitter27's Avatar
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    Here's one I learned from a few I know: cite inside jokes all the time. Nobody gets it, and those who do will laugh, and usually SOMEONE will. That will make people feel stupid because they don't understand it.
    I 96% N 93% T 75% P 63% 5w4 sp/sx/so ILI
    Ti>Ne>Te>Ni>Si>Fi>Se>Fe
    I'm interested in what you percieve me to be. Johari/Nohari

  8. #18
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    how do you become pretenious? my friends told me I could not pull it off, so i naturally took that as a challenge, so tell me of your ways.
    Basically just be a cynical asshole about everything and condescend to everyone.

    Works for me

  9. #19
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    You could look for some ideas here, though many of them aren't actually pretentious imo.

  10. #20

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    It depends on the kind of pretentious you want to go for.

    In downtown NYC, we have a lot of the hipsters/"boho" people.

    If you're going for said look and you're a girl, I would recommend:
    - Grow your hair out long, never comb it, and whatever you do, don't trim your split ends. Part it down the middle, and don't wash it more than a couple times a week.
    - Talk loudly about the pills you do and how you'd die without your Addies.
    - Intentionally rip your clothing. The more the better. Cut off the bottom of your shirts.
    - Say you cannot live with Patti Smith, and how Neutral Milk Hotel's In An Aeroplane Over The Sea is the best album you've ever heard.
    - Get circular glasses which are way too large for your face. Tortoiseshell or a bold color (red, purple) preferred.
    - Hold a cigarette in one hand and hold a Starbucks cup in another.
    - Take some art history classes and say that you're looking into working for a magazine as a fashion consultant or the like... "you know, just someone for people to bounce ideas off of." Because you are SO creative! And original.

    Edit: Oh yeah, one of the posts above reminded me of how you absolutely will need a social cause of some sort, preferably something like the Iran elections. Darfur is oh so 2007.

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