I try to be a good person. I dont always succeed and it hurts me when I fail- sometimes this means I try harder- sometimes this means I give up.
The goal for myself is to NEVER let myself give up on being 'good'.
I like to read- mostly about whatever is interesting me at the moment. I like both fiction and non fiction- actually Im odd with non fiction. I like it MORE than fiction when its about something I am REALLY interested in- especially when its written in a way that BUILDS. If I am NOT interested in the topic- if I dont have a non-fiction book in a topic that I am interested in- then I will revert to fiction.
Fiction can be stale though.
I dont like being bored. I have... A pretty short amount of patience- especially if I view... Well its hard to explain. But if I associate 'that' with either 'laziness' 'thoughtlessness' or 'unfairness' then my 'fuse' foes down even more.
Im all about being fair... In the kindest way possible. About- giving people the benefit of the doubt if I can. About second chances...
BUT- if I feel you are taking advantage of me... Then... I get really sad. And I might either get angry at you- or detatch. Because I can be easy to take advantage of unfortunately- it happens in a lot of aspects of life. I dont... I just- sometimes I feel like I... just- Im willing to 'sacrifice' more than a lot of other people. This doesnt always bother me- and I mean this in- I will admit fault while others will only use that to lay the blame entirely on me- when sometimes things just arent that simple. Unfortunately- I cant NOT admit fault... So it works out whatever way it works out.
Anyways. I also have a 'special snowflake' thing going on it a lot of ways. I hate being told what to do. I hate when other people try to... Just... TAKE what I FEEL and just... I hate when people try to tell me MY feelings. I hate when they try to tell me how to SOLVE my feelings- like of yeah, I suffered from something similar- I took nyquil for it- um its your own fault now for still suffering because I just TOLD you the solution. No, what works for one person does NOT work for everyone. And imo, its cruel to assume that it does- even if you are 'trying to help'- you arent- and honestly if you get MAD it doesnt work... Then you imo, are really just not considering 'really helping' the other person at all.
I have strong opinions sometimes.
I am pretty quiet usually.
I can be stubborn. I can be lazy. I can be... Selfish.
Sometimes I feel like I set myself up to be disappointed... But- Imma quote anne shirley here
...“Oh, Marilla, looking forward to things is half the pleasure of them,” exclaimed Anne. “You mayn’t get the things themselves; but nothing can prevent you from having the fun of looking forward to them. Mrs. Lynde says, ‘Blessed are they who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed.’ But I think it would be worse to expect nothing than to be disappointed.”...
Sometimes I gossip. I try not to. Its more irl that I catch myself gossiping- I dont do it a hell of a lot, but I do it enough where I can say that I notice I dont like when I do it.
I dont like repetition. Again, I really DONT like to be bored.
Im spacey. And clumsy.
I like to laugh- I like to be a 'goof'. I rarely cry.
I try to be honest
I dont like hurting people. I like challenging myself.
Sometimes my thoughts take me places I didnt intend to go- but am generally fine with exploring.
Hmm thats enough for now.
And anne shirley again.
I fucking love her.
There's such a lot of different Annes in me. I sometimes think that is why I'm such a troublesome person. If I was just the one Anne it would be ever so much more comfortable, but then it wouldn't be half so interesting.
And Imma change my sig to anne shirley I think as well.