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  1. #1
    Senior Member thinkinjazz's Avatar
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    Default The best joke you ever heard?

    What's your favorite joke?

    (Please respond with at least somekind of joke before wandering into comments on any hence posted jokes)!

    Ex:
    A guy dies and goes to heaven. God greets him and tells him that heaven is a wonderful place above and beyond even one's expectations, the only rule (God says) is you that cannot step on a duck or else you will be severely punished. A few months pass and heaven was indeed beyond his wildest dreams, then suddenly one day he finds a gorgeous woman has been tied to him at the ankle. He can't believe how beautiful she is and wonders aloud what he did to deserve this.
    Woman: I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.
    Holy sh**t a talking muffin!

    All shotguns and lace.

  2. #2
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Default

    Hey thinkinjazz, do you like fishsticks?
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  3. #3
    Senior Member thinkinjazz's Avatar
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    Default

    Uh not particularly Edgar, y?
    Holy sh**t a talking muffin!

    All shotguns and lace.

  4. #4
    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Hey thinkinjazz, do you like fishsticks?
    LOL

  5. #5
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    Default

    How is your dog?

    Just dreadful! He can't hold his licker!

  6. #6
    Branded with Satan murkrow's Avatar
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    Default

    A black guy, a chinese guy and a jewish guy walk into a bar.


    The bartender says "get out.".
    wails from the crypt.

  7. #7
    a scream in a vortex nanook's Avatar
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    Default

    Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.

    edit: wait, only the best joke i have ever heard? uhm... how about the best joke i have ever forgotten?

  8. #8

  9. #9
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    Default

    The advantage of having a blonde in the car:
    You can park in the handicapped section

  10. #10
    Priestess Of Syrinx Katsuni's Avatar
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    Default

    I dunno about favorite... there's so many types...

    The obvious and short, yet horrible pun "Two guys walk into a bar and say 'ouch'."

    The nowheres near PC stuff... "If god wanted women to love me, I'd be a chocolate shoe filled with money."

    There's inappropriate lewd ones (not going to bother writing them because the only ones I know take too long and aren't that funny anyway), to the running gag which just keeps going and going and going like the energizer bunny on an acid trip, a la monty python.

    Inside jokes, referances, all sorts of things, it's hard to pick a favourite to be honest...

    Though I think... to be honest... my favorite jokes are ones that just stand up on their own, despite that they have NO RELEVANCE WHOTSOEVER.



    Though this's technically a comic... the visual aspect isn't required at all. There isn't really a punchline either. Or a joke. And yet, I find this funny as hell, and one of the most amusing things I've ever read. Even to this day, the mere word "Horseradish" can sometimes cause me to break into gigglefits. It's sad, I know. Yet so awesome.

    And yes, I do find myself as easily amused by ABSOLUTELY NOTHING at times, and may just cling onto something completely pointless and stupid, and be physically unable to stop laughing at... nothing. I have been in this exact situation before XD

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