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  1. #61
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antimony View Post
    But her imposing such rules on me only makes me want to get out faster. Of course, that is not the only reason, but she should know it certainly adds to me wanting to escape.
    I'm sure she does know that. However the very fact that what she considers to be some common sense, not over the top guidelines are so fervently resisted makes her more certain that she is right to be concerned. Is part of the problem that you feel like you are losing face if you meet her partway? I can see how that could make it difficult for you to approach her about this and just wish to leave instead.

  2. #62
    Senior Member Amira's Avatar
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    What wins me over in general is simply making the effort to win me over. It just requires a person to be truly interested in being friends of some sort and as long as they are not horrible people I tend to be very friendly. I consider friends to be very valuable since true friends are HARD to find, so, just be a friend and you'll win me over.

    As far as your mom, I have different life values than you do, so the rules themselves don't sound too bad to me. However, the application of even sensible and good rules can sometimes be very oppressive. I know what that is like and I sympathize. I am 24 and have always had a lot of zest for life and what I want to do and become and experience. Passion for life is really great, but remember that passion = power = potential for danger/hurt to self if not channeled appropriately.

    It can be hard not to get bitter towards a parent who is not listening to your desires/needs/requests to negotiate... I don't really have any advice b/c I don't think I know the situation well enough to give advice, but I think if I were to talk to my younger self I would inform me that even if something comes a lot later than I wanted it to, I will sometimes be really GLAD it was "late." And I am not quite sure what experiences you are talking about that have to be experienced in high school for them to be the "best possible." I can't think of anything at the moment that wouldn't be just as good or better later on.

    This post doesn't feel complete to me but I am not sure how to say the other things I am thinking/feeling. Maybe just good luck and hopefully you and your mom can come to a better understanding and be able to be good friends again with a little more freedom for you and a little more peace of mind for her.
    Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~Plato

  3. #63
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amira View Post
    What wins me over in general is simply making the effort to win me over. It just requires a person to be truly interested in being friends of some sort and as long as they are not horrible people I tend to be very friendly. I consider friends to be very valuable since true friends are HARD to find, so, just be a friend and you'll win me over.

    As far as your mom, I have different life values than you do, so the rules themselves don't sound too bad to me. However, the application of even sensible and good rules can sometimes be very oppressive. I know what that is like and I sympathize. I am 24 and have always had a lot of zest for life and what I want to do and become and experience. Passion for life is really great, but remember that passion = power = potential for danger/hurt to self if not channeled appropriately.

    It can be hard not to get bitter towards a parent who is not listening to your desires/needs/requests to negotiate... I don't really have any advice b/c I don't think I know the situation well enough to give advice, but I think if I were to talk to my younger self I would inform me that even if something comes a lot later than I wanted it to, I will sometimes be really GLAD it was "late." And I am not quite sure what experiences you are talking about that have to be experienced in high school for them to be the "best possible." I can't think of anything at the moment that wouldn't be just as good or better later on.

    This post doesn't feel complete to me but I am not sure how to say the other things I am thinking/feeling. Maybe just good luck and hopefully you and your mom can come to a better understanding and be able to be good friends again with a little more freedom for you and a little more peace of mind for her.
    I think you're a good and nice person.

    But never come to a techno party, they will eat you alive there
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  4. #64
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    I'm not easily won over because I'm not easily alienated in the first place. I find it difficult to hate people, and bounce back easily. I think it's because I tend to look for reasons people might not like me inside other people rather than look to myself for reasons. On the other hand, I tend to alienate other people quite easily for some reason.

  5. #65
    Senior Member Shimmy's Avatar
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    A well constructed argument.

  6. #66
    Self sustaining supernova Zoom's Avatar
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    All the normal wants of kindness, honesty, and challenging me intellectually aside...

    Surprises. Shock me with something positive, and I'm drawn like a moth to a flame, because it happens so rarely and I love it.

  7. #67
    You're fired. Lol. Antimony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I'm sure she does know that. However the very fact that what she considers to be some common sense, not over the top guidelines are so fervently resisted makes her more certain that she is right to be concerned. Is part of the problem that you feel like you are losing face if you meet her partway? I can see how that could make it difficult for you to approach her about this and just wish to leave instead.
    I hate doing something on another's terms, but I have actually tried to meet her partway, set up something.

    I just want to do my own thing. If I don't get the proper independence in my house, then I want to get out. If I got it in my house, I would be a little more fine with staying, but would still want to get out.
    Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

    Always reserve the right to become smarter at a future point in time, for only a fool limits themselves to all they knew in the past. -Alex

  8. #68
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    consistency

  9. #69
    Senior Member Amira's Avatar
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    Tee hee entropie, not to worry. Not likely I would go to one of those since my friends who are into them moved to Switzerland a few years ago. Most of my other friends are into rock and my BF likes classics!
    Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~Plato

  10. #70
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    That confident intelligence that doesn't need to prove itself, it just shows in how it works through normal situations. It requires conscious effort to dumb itself down and hates it there. Neither over zealous nor ashamed. A scentless exotic perfume. Doesn't break others, not out of lack of ability, but as a desire it holds.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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