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Thread: Parties

  1. #21
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    The only thing good about parties is the free food, and that's only if it isn't one of those parties where you have to bring your own food.

    Beyond that, they're a waste of my time. There is no point of all the shit afterwards. Dancing, playing Twister, pot smoking, etc. disgust me. Parties signify a lack of sophistication and a total waste of brain matter.

  2. #22
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    I spot people like you at parties sometimes, and I'm aware that they're worrying the host, he's worried there are people who are going to say they didn't enjoy the party and it'll reflect on his image and he'll be known as a person who gives parties that suck, where people don't enjoy themselves. And also I know that the person who's like you in this way would rather be enjoying themselves, but needs a bit of help. So I often end up 'looking after' or 'starting off' these types of people and spending a lot of energy and time in bringing them out and helping them let go and enjoy themselves. ...

    What I'm saying is that in situations like these, I actually can feel drained by being with people, despite being an extravert. It's not that I don't enjoy it - it's rewarding and great to get people enjoying themselves and make them happy, but it's still exhausting because it's a lot of hard work.
    *nods* I had people try to cajole me into the spirit of the party. It usually doesn't work very well... and I can see them get drained in the process. Also from the constant effort of keeping an eye on me, they can truly let go and have fun. Nowadays... I just wave them off and don't attend anything unless I must. I hate spoiling the party. Hmmm haven't thought about the host though... more reasons for me not to go lol.

    I do think it's also heavily dependent on what environment you were raised in.
    The less exposure an introvert has to it... the harder it is to get him or her to relax and enjoy the party.

    "Shyness" has to do with social skills... it's often to see shy introverts... but that doesn't mean all Is are shy.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    How do you feel about parties? Are there different kinds of parties that you respond to differently, and how much does the type of other guests affect you? Extraverts - are you automatically energized simply because there are people around of any kind, or do you agree with me? Introverts - do you always dread every party, or do you sometimes find yourself enjoying yourself against your expectations and if so, what contributed to that?
    I get energized if the people are relatively self-confident, are not self-conscious and know how to laugh about themselves. It can be draining when you have to fulifll the role of the one that entertains everyone else. I've been at parties where there was this big void because no one dared to speak and the only way to get stuff going was to initiate everything myself... It was not especially fun.

    I hate herd mentality. I've found that introverts will tend to stay in their comfort zone of people they know more than extraverts and really make it a pain for anyone new to get into their world of relatives. Introverts also tend to be be less outrageous... I don't feel I can be as silly and let loose around introverts. I like the feeling that people "let go" and are just themselves instead of hiding in their fortress for protection or fear of what other people might think of them.

    With ENxx's in particular, I feel I immediately bond and we share a common zany sense of humor. Being silly for the sake of being silly. I love absurdity!

  4. #24
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    ... and go home at the end of the day to be alone and recharge

    FTR, "shy" does not equal introverted, at least not in my case.
    Yeah I know, I know

    But I also go home and recharge at the end of a party. A lot of extraverts need time to themselves too. I'm just saying the dividing line is thinner than people here make out... I often need time to myself to get my head together and an ENTJ I know is almost bear like in his hibernation habits!

    Natrushka - I have ways of checking whether the person wants to be cajoled, and if not I leave them be. I'm pretty big on the "prime directive" (so to speak), or not interfering in an unwanted or unnecessary way in someone or something's development, but sometimes merely keeping an eye on the situation in order to intervene if it becomes necessary and/or requested.

    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick View Post
    I get energized if the people are relatively self-confident, are not self-conscious and know how to laugh about themselves. It can be draining when you have to fulifll the role of the one that entertains everyone else. I've been at parties where there was this big void because no one dared to speak and the only way to get stuff going was to initiate everything myself... It was not especially fun.
    Yeah that's exactly what I was trying to say.

    I hate herd mentality. I've found that introverts will tend to stay in their comfort zone of people they know more than extraverts and really make it a pain for anyone new to get into their world of relatives.
    Yes I've found that and often been irritated by it - a bunch of introverts sneering together about 'the herd of humanity' from which they're exempt and proud of it, and yet they all dress similarly, listen to the same music, like the same movies and judge other people based on whether they do too.

    Introverts also tend to be be less outrageous... I don't feel I can be as silly and let loose around introverts.
    Totally. It's weird... I've sometimes compared leaving the building after an evening in predominantly introverted company to how a dog might feel after walking through a desert for days, desperate to take a whizz, before finally finding a fire hydrant... haha...

    With ENxx's in particular, I feel I immediately bond and we share a common zany sense of humor. Being silly for the sake of being silly. I love absurdity!
    Yes... though some introverts can do that too... INTP's can be very silly and lateral in their humour during, say, a night of roleplaying or a one on one lunch date. INFP's can often too, and I've sometimes laughed so hard my belly ached whilst having coffee with an INTJ I know; when I had an operation on my stomach and the stitches were still in, I remember banning my ISTJ friend from my apartment until I'd healed because he made me laugh too much and it really hurt!!

    But yes, in general, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing that 'birds of a feather flock together', and like you I tend to bond more quickly and easily with ENxx's.
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  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    The only thing good about parties is the free food, and that's only if it isn't one of those parties where you have to bring your own food.

    Beyond that, they're a waste of my time. There is no point of all the shit afterwards. Dancing, playing Twister, pot smoking, etc. disgust me. Parties signify a lack of sophistication and a total waste of brain matter.
    Yeah we've got ten of you round the back too... they're good value because as long as you provide them with a few weiners and nachos, they play the part of the 'people milling around, making the room look fuller (always a good thing)but to whom you never actually have to feel guilty about not getting round to talking to, and they make with the disapproving, snotty scowls at the disgusting people having their disgusting fun, thus motivating extraverts to party even harder out of sheer defiance and the more polite/sociable/less snotty introverts who see them and think 'Oh God, I don't wanna come across like that guy, I'd better make a bit more effort!'
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
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  6. #26
    Senior Membrane spirilis's Avatar
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    Yeah, I usually end up taking a stereotypical introvert role at parties. If it's a group I don't know, I find myself least comfortable, usually meander around the food/drink and find little things to amuse myself, like observe the details of the room and the people, although in those situations I find making eye contact almost painful because I hate to expose the fact that I'm not having that good of a time. Fact of the matter is, if there is no significant prior connection between me and at least 2-3 other people there (assuming it's a large party), it is painful for me to attempt to create new connections so I become 10x more shy than normal. That's when I know it's time to bail early.

    On the other hand, if I'm with a group of people I already know, I usually play a passive role of 'interested listener' where I partake in conversations, usually listening to others and offering my own insight when appropriate. If someone engages me in a one-on-one discussion at a party, though, I just can't shut up.

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    I put the "party" in Nazi party.

  8. #28
    homo-loving sonovagun anii's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    How do you feel about parties? Are there different kinds of parties that you respond to differently, and how much does the type of other guests affect you? Extraverts - are you automatically energized simply because there are people around of any kind, or do you agree with me? Introverts - do you always dread every party, or do you sometimes find yourself enjoying yourself against your expectations and if so, what contributed to that?
    Hmmm... sometimes the bigger louder and more crazy the party the more I feel I can blend in and do my own thing. I sometimes feel more put on the spot in a smaller crowd.

    I think the socioeconomic vibe of the party has an impact... I'd feel much more uncomfortable if I were at a swanky soiree than at a college kegger.

    I actually look forward to some parties because I rarely go to any these days.

    And I love costume parties because it's sanctioned goofiness, I get to be creative, plus there's something about obscuring my identity this way that is very freeing.

  9. #29
    Senior Member htb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Similarly, if it's a kind of party where people sit around and talk in small cliques or one-on-ones in long conversations about things they know about, it'd probably be quite energizing for the introverts and boring for the extravert
    That might explain the frustration I experienced at two recent gatherings; one right before the last New Year and the other at the end of April.

    The first was at a bar and grill, started as a bifurcation between two groups and split from there into a groups of two and three. Apart from running into the son of family friends for the first time in literally two decades, I was bored within half an hour. Even thinking about the memory gives me the sensation of being caught in a snare.

    The second was at a host house, with about three dozen people. When I perceived discrete groups moving about, I was ill at ease. When engaged in a competitive game with about a dozen others, lots of shouting and laughing and ribbing, I came alive.

  10. #30
    Member Entropy's Avatar
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    As an introvert (though probably a weak one), I find that I can be energized by parties, especially if I can get in a good conversation or two with a couple of people. Most of my friends are more extroverted than I am, which works out well because they can break me out of my shell and get me going.

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