User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 31

Thread: Parties

  1. #11
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Posts
    4,474

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post

    To me it seems to suggest that the distinction between I and E does not actually lie in whether they enjoy social situations...
    Reallllllllly?

    /me bashes head on wall

    I'm an extreme introvert - social anxiety, slight ochlophobia... the whole thing... but functional. I hate parties, I hate crowds. My muscles little tighten up and the fight/flee (mostly flee...) reaction starts up the moment people crowd in on me.

    Yet, I still tend to enjoy social situations - so long as I don't get triggered.

    We seem to forget that underneath type lies the most basic common bonds - being human. All humans are social animals and while we may have traits from biology/training/whatever that work against that, it is still who we are.

    Is tend to dread social situations, however, far more than Es do. Association of positive emotion for the Es, and simulating negative-only emotions for I. IMO, of course.

  2. #12
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INfj
    Posts
    3,741

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    We seem to forget that underneath type lies the most basic common bonds - being human. All humans are social animals and while we may have traits from biology/training/whatever that work against that, it is still who we are.

    Is tend to dread social situations, however, far more than Es do. Association of positive emotion for the Es, and simulating negative-only emotions for I. IMO, of course.
    It's so you to bring in the scientific evidence... But it's quite true... I think both Is and Es enjoy a good party... in varying amount of stimulation of course.

    For myself, I rarely ever attend one. I always feel like the odd one out when people started talking. I ended up standing to the side not doing anything. Especially when it's small-talk with people I don't know well. I don't like that at all. But if there's little conversation involved... just doing random things like dancing, I'm okay with it.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Veneti's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    MBTI
    XNTX
    Posts
    264

    Default

    Yes,

    Get a bunch of intoverts at a party with a lot of intellectual things in common and they are very extroverted.

    Most introverts are as such due to the people that are generally around them.

    Even on the net, there's lots of intoverts that are extoverted in conversation... and why? they can filter who they talk to and as such improve the quality of the discussions they have etc.

  4. #14
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6
    Posts
    24,060

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Veneti View Post
    Yes,

    Get a bunch of intoverts at a party with a lot of intellectual things in common and they are very extroverted.

    Most introverts are as such due to the people that are generally around them.

    Even on the net, there's lots of intoverts that are extoverted in conversation... and why? they can filter who they talk to and as such improve the quality of the discussions they have etc.
    I don't know that I agree with this entirely-- I'm introverted because my energy flow is inward, not because I'm normally surrounded by boring people. I can reverse that energy flow but it requires effort, and my "default" position is inward. Social interaction, even with people I really like, is draining to me. But something being draining doesn't mean I don't enjoy it (although not every introvert does-- just as not every extrovert enjoys parties). I like hiking, too, but I'm exhausted afterward.

    I got together with several people from INTPc a couple months ago. It was a pretty raucous good time among a bunch of introverts who were reversing their energy flow temporarily. But the next day at brunch, nobody said a word-- we were all recharging by returning inward.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  5. #15
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    4,601

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nightning View Post
    For myself, I rarely ever attend one. I always feel like the odd one out when people started talking. I ended up standing to the side not doing anything. Especially when it's small-talk with people I don't know well. I don't like that at all. But if there's little conversation involved... just doing random things like dancing, I'm okay with it.
    I spot people like you at parties sometimes, and I'm aware that they're worrying the host, he's worried there are people who are going to say they didn't enjoy the party and it'll reflect on his image and he'll be known as a person who gives parties that suck, where people don't enjoy themselves. And also I know that the person who's like you in this way would rather be enjoying themselves, but needs a bit of help. So I often end up 'looking after' or 'starting off' these types of people and spending a lot of energy and time in bringing them out and helping them let go and enjoy themselves. It almost always works - I sorta set myself the challenge if I see a 'wallflower' to make it so that they don't want to leave when it's time to go, and I usually succeed

    What I'm saying is that in situations like these, I actually can feel drained by being with people, despite being an extravert. It's not that I don't enjoy it - it's rewarding and great to get people enjoying themselves and make them happy, but it's still exhausting because it's a lot of hard work.

    But I also think that after a stimulating conversation about their specialist subject, an introvert can feel as energized by the company of another person as an extravert can. It's often what I do to energize these introverted types at parties - to take them aside or in the garden or something, share a cigarette or two with them if they smoke or whatever, and get them talking about what interests them. This is where the ENxP tendency to have fingers in many pies and know a bit about a lot of different things pays off! Quite often after 45 mins/an hour, the person has totally perked up and when you say 'Come on let's go inside and see what's happening', they'll come in quite happily and participate in other stuff and be less shy.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  6. #16
    Senior Member Veneti's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    MBTI
    XNTX
    Posts
    264

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    I don't know that I agree with this entirely-- I'm introverted because my energy flow is inward, not because I'm normally surrounded by boring people. I can reverse that energy flow but it requires effort, and my "default" position is inward. Social interaction, even with people I really like, is draining to me. But something being draining doesn't mean I don't enjoy it (although not every introvert does-- just as not every extrovert enjoys parties). I like hiking, too, but I'm exhausted afterward.

    I got together with several people from INTPc a couple months ago. It was a pretty raucous good time among a bunch of introverts who were reversing their energy flow temporarily. But the next day at brunch, nobody said a word-- we were all recharging by returning inward.

    Perhaps its a more INT thing.

    Like the NT wants you to think, intellectually explore and exchange information to understand. Hence it counteracts the I.

  7. #17
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Posts
    5,514

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    I spot people like you at parties sometimes, and I'm aware that they're worrying the host, he's worried there are people who are going to say they didn't enjoy the party and it'll reflect on his image and he'll be known as a person who gives parties that suck, where people don't enjoy themselves. And also I know that the person who's like you in this way would rather be enjoying themselves, but needs a bit of help. So I often end up 'looking after' or 'starting off' these types of people and spending a lot of energy and time in bringing them out and helping them let go and enjoy themselves. It almost always works - I sorta set myself the challenge if I see a 'wallflower' to make it so that they don't want to leave when it's time to go, and I usually succeed ...
    I only do that when 1. I'm with my movie group and I know some members tend to monopolize the conversation and others want to speak, or 2. when the wallflower in question is making cues that they want to get involved and they're being ignored (which is basically what you said).

    Yes there is a challenge aspect of getting someone who's usually reserved to open up, but I'm beginning to back off and let people be. Perhaps it is the influence of the commentary by introverts on the forum. More of it is I'm not responsible for ensuring everyone is happy. That's a heavy burden to carry and then it becomes your role, people expect you to run interference for them and you stop enjoying yourself and it becomes work.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  8. #18
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTj
    Posts
    5,908

    Default

    Every body has a certain level of sociability-potential.

    Extraverts have X.

    Introverts have X-N, wherere N>=X.

    Let us say that a party depletes level A of energy. An extravert will be left with level X-A of energy, whereas an introvert with level X-N-A. Let us say that "recharge" is necessary when X<0. Since comparatively an extravert will always have more energy than an introvert after a party, the impression will be that the extrovert has been "energized", whereas the truth is that it only has been less depleted than the introvert.

  9. #19
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    1,213

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    they'll come in quite happily and participate in other stuff and be less shy.
    ... and go home at the end of the day to be alone and recharge

    FTR, "shy" does not equal introverted, at least not in my case.

    This signature left intentionally blank.

    Really.

  10. #20
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6
    Posts
    24,060

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Veneti View Post
    Perhaps its a more INT thing.

    Like the NT wants you to think, intellectually explore and exchange information to understand. Hence it counteracts the I.
    I don't think so. This just sounds like more NT superiority complex to me.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

Similar Threads

  1. Political Party?
    By wyrdsister in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 69
    Last Post: 08-04-2009, 08:09 PM
  2. Let pretend we are at a party!
    By Ypsilon in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 88
    Last Post: 01-25-2008, 05:39 PM
  3. Ron Paul Tea Party... will you be donating?
    By file cabinet in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 95
    Last Post: 12-20-2007, 03:19 PM
  4. Political Parties
    By Kiddo in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 11-30-2007, 02:01 PM
  5. Helloween party, or whatever the spelling.
    By Punggung in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11-03-2007, 03:45 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO