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  1. #1
    Member Aven's Avatar
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    Default Are you living the life you wanted/want?

    I don't know if this goes in this section, if it doesn't, my apologies.

    So are you? I am not talking about the life you wanted when you were 5, but your expectations for yourself, perhaps realistic dreams [we don't have wings...yet], are you living that life? Are you in your way to living that life?

    Please discuss.

    Oh yeah, don't come in here trying to troll up my thread because I am not responsible for what happens to you :chook:.
    Deja que pasemos sin miedo.

  2. #2
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    Generally yes, I like my job, am pretty independent of timetables and such, get to travel a lot (this sucks sometimes), live in various countries for extended periods of time, good money.
    My personal life used to be a bit screwed up, but I got used to that now
    On the other hand, sometimes I don't know if that's what I wanted, or what did/do I want and what should I do to have what I want, supposing that I knew what this is.
    Oh, anyway.

  3. #3
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Life is just recovery atm, constructing my life again so it will rule some day. SHows promising development, but just factually evaluated, it's a non-life.

  4. #4
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Seven months ago, I complained elsewhere about how my life was nothing compared to how I had imagined it or wanted it to be. I was constantly depressed, living on the verge of seriously hurting myself (an understatement -- something was GOING to give if I did not change things).

    Since then, I have slid down off the fence and finally made some difficult decisions in my life, rather than trying to preserve everything that was in conflict.

    I can't say my future is rosy or even well-defined at this point, but I have a much higher "base level of contentment" than I had in the beginning of this year, and I can only see it improving.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #5
    Mamma said knock you out Mempy's Avatar
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    My story is somewhat similar to Jen's. I've been to my lowest of lows. I can even say that I've been there recently.

    My happiness depends on how much faith I have in myself and how much I can trust myself. If I don't have faith in myself, I feel weak, which makes me afraid, which causes me to make more mistakes, which increases my anxiety, and on and on. I was trapped in that cycle recently, and it's very grueling.

    It's hard to feel confident all the time, to do what I have to do to get the job done, and to have the balls to seek my happiness regardless of what others think or what happens to me. Things are far from perfect in my life, but I think that when I have a lot of faith in myself, I can pretty much do anything. Not only that, but I can have a lot of fun while I'm living life and doing what I have to do. At the moment, I feel confident.

    Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

    I do think it has everything to do with your perspective, though. Whenever I'm really low, it's always because my perspective is making my life appear like shit.

  6. #6
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    I'm still young and in college, so I can't actually tell, but I'm doing pretty fine I think.

  7. #7
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    At this point, I would say yes, I am living the life I want.....given what I know right now. I'm happier this year than I have been for quite a long time, and I think I'm headed in the right direction.

    As for the 'life I always wanted', say as a kid, I think much of the problem when I was younger was that I never knew what I wanted. I was just kind of floating along. I made a lot of assumptions. I assumed right out of college I would get a great job. I assumed I'd meet the man of my dreams in college, and would get married (I'm 29 now btw). Did I know how to take the steps to achieve any of this? Or what 'reality' really was like?? No, not really. So it's been a lot of learning, mostly about myself. I journaled several years ago about how the 'real world' was killing my spirit, and for a good yr or so there had a hard time 'surviving' (just in my head - externally I was still holding the job, paying bills, socializing, etc), and I became a total cynic, but didn't know how to amend the situation. But I never became totally hopeless, because I also knew 'this too shall pass.' :-)

    So the past 8-9 years has actually been realizing many of my life assumptions were...rather naive and silly...and it's basically been a lot of soul-searching, and rebuilding my foundation, if you will. Starting from scratch, and figuring out what I want and need out of life -- attempting to get to the root of it -- and then going from there. I also believe I had to 're-wire' my brain a bit, to come out whole, and maintain my personal beliefs, and yet at the same time not get drawn down into pessimism...which historically I've been prone to. ;-) I guess you could say I'm becoming more of a glass-half-full kinda gal now...

    I also believe this process might repeat itself, and I think I'll always be one to desire growth and change in my life, and I like the idea of evolving/growing as a person over time -- this means: What makes me happy today may not (and probably won't be!) be what makes me happy 20 years from now.

  8. #8
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mempy View Post
    I do think it has everything to do with your perspective, though. Whenever I'm really low, it's always because my perspective is making my life appear like shit.
    Yes, it really is an internal shift. My worst times in life have been when I feel that I have no control over my future and I hate where I'm at.

    Honestly, we are always free to TRY to do anything (regardless of outcome); usually it seems we are just too afraid of what we might lose, so we end up staying in the cage and withering instead. We stay in our misery out of choice.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #9
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    I'm doing fine, but I'll never have the life that I want. And that's how I like it.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  10. #10
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aven View Post
    I don't know if this goes in this section, if it doesn't, my apologies.

    So are you? I am not talking about the life you wanted when you were 5, but your expectations for yourself, perhaps realistic dreams [we don't have wings...yet], are you living that life? Are you in your way to living that life?

    Please discuss.
    My life is pretty much how and what I wanted. The thing that turned out to be kind of a wild card is me, actually. I am not the greatest fit in the world for the life I want. I should really have been an ISFJ. I have had to kind of shift my expectations for myself to something more achievable for who I turned out to be and I'm also working towards . . . outsourcing the things I suck at so I can concentrate on the things I'm good at and/or enjoy.

    I do not know what the next phase of my life will hold. I cannot decide what I want to do between the time my kids are grown and retirement. Mostly I just want to get a job I don't hate that pays enough to help pay off our debts so we can retire in comfort. I suppose I should begin to look into that more seriously.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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