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  1. #31
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    I wanted to be a famous singer/songwriter... I do lament the fact that I am probably never going to realize my dream of a music career. Once I started approaching 40, I figured it was all over for me.
    Accepting the failure sent me into a deep depression that lasted several years.

    Now that I've seen American Idol a couple of seasons,
    I realize I never did have the talent to become a superstar,
    but, I still have the artistic need to express my heart and mind through music. I've learned to be content with the small local opportunities I get.
    What sort of music do you write? Do you play an instrument as well, or just pen lyrics and compose melody / basic chords and have someone else fill in?

    Are you singing right now regularly in church? What other opportunities have you had to sing and write?

    I think it's extremely important for you to express yourself in private and work on composition, if it allows you to voice things from your heart, regardless of whether or not it ever goes anywhere publicly. Those intimate personal moments are as important as the moments where more popular singers with large avenues are able to sway the crowds.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #32
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    What sort of music do you write? Do you play an instrument as well, or just pen lyrics and compose melody / basic chords and have someone else fill in?
    I play guitar and a little piano. I used to get an inspiration for a song. A line would pop into my head with maybe some music accompanying it. I would sit down with an instrument and finish it.
    All my best songs were written on the spot in about 30 minutes.
    I think my music is probably kind of folk or pop; a little bit country.
    They're mostly simple songs that tell a story.

    Are you singing right now regularly in church? What other opportunities have you had to sing and write?
    After I became a Christian, I started writing worship and praise songs. I was on a worship team for 10 years - the best years of my life.
    I've had one of my songs recorded by another artist. That was cool. He didn't get famous though.
    I've recorded a couple of my songs, too. It takes a lot of money. Then you have to promote it.

    I think it's extremely important for you to express yourself in private and work on composition, if it allows you to voice things from your heart, regardless of whether or not it ever goes anywhere publicly. Those intimate personal moments are as important as the moments where more popular singers with large avenues are able to sway the crowds.
    You're right.
    It has taken me a long time to let go of the need to be important.
    I mean, I still need to be important, but I am now willing to do seemingly "unimportant" things, too.

    When I hit my midlife crisis, I got depressed. I despised myself and my gift. I didn't sing or play for a long time - too painful a reminder of my failure.
    But I've been slowly getting back to it. I haven't written a song in years. Last year I started craving having a piano in the house again. I have to make a place for one.
    I think I neglect myself in this area.

    In the church I'm in right now, I have been invited several times to sing and play a song during the "special music" portion before the sermon. I have enjoyed that immensely.
    I don't always do a song I wrote. Sometimes I just do a song I love.

  3. #33
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    I play guitar and a little piano. I used to get an inspiration for a song. A line would pop into my head with maybe some music accompanying it. I would sit down with an instrument and finish it.
    All my best songs were written on the spot in about 30 minutes.
    It is funny how that works, isn't it? It always felt that way to me too -- I can only remember one song that I slaved over that I thought was *Good*. The rest of the "good" ones were ones that would just "pop" into existence. (I suppose that is what is meant by divine inspiration or letting the creative muse truly run free.)

    I've had one of my songs recorded by another artist. That was cool. He didn't get famous though.
    But I bet it really did validate you, didn't you? (Not that validation is what it is about... but it still feels SOOO good to have someone else see something you did as having that much value to want to put a voice to it. It silences the inner critic a little bit, at least.)

    I've recorded a couple of my songs, too. It takes a lot of money. Then you have to promote it.
    Uh huh. Very expensive... and I don't know how other people do it. Half of your time (if not more) has to be spent on promotion-style activities. No wonder artists have managers and road crews and whatnot, to do all of these things for them. It'd be exhausting to do them alone.

    It has taken me a long time to let go of the need to be important. I mean, I still need to be important, but I am now willing to do seemingly "unimportant" things, too.
    Thank you for saying this, now I don't feel so odd or alone. I had the same need to. When I was younger, I dreamed of doing something that would change the world and did not want to "waste my talents" on something less.

    And where did that get me? Nowhere at all. I think it is such a wonderful paradox now -- that it is the "unimportant things" where we expose and use our gifts and actually pave a way to have opportunity to do the "important things" we had imagined earlier... if those opportunities come at any point.

    Focusing on doing something big usually just ensures we will not get anywhere.

    When I hit my midlife crisis, I got depressed. I despised myself and my gift. I didn't sing or play for a long time - too painful a reminder of my failure.
    But I've been slowly getting back to it. I haven't written a song in years. Last year I started craving having a piano in the house again. I have to make a place for one. I think I neglect myself in this area.
    Oh, I know pianos aren't exactly "portable" or easily tucked away, but if you can find any way to get one... Modern electronic equipment is so good nowadays. I have a Roland XV-88 (?), which can be stowed away if we need the space for something, but it is a weighted 88-key piano, with thousands of settings. I still love baby grand pianos the most, but this is a good stopgap when you just do not have the room.

    But I have not played for a long time now... I just have not "felt" anything for a number of months. I hope the numbness fades soon. Some of the best moments of my life were with my fingers on the keys and shutting down all the crazy thoughts of the day and allowing the music to come out as it would. It is like all the emotions locked inside would "sneak around" the perimeter of my overly wary brain and so escape their confinement...

    Anyway, I am so glad you're getting some time in church to contribute and feel like you are giving something special again.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #34
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Is anyone living the life they wanted, but now realize is no longer what they want?

    (Not me, just curious.)
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  5. #35
    Senior Member Eileen's Avatar
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    I am happy enough with the life that I have right now, I think, but it's not the life I want.

    I'm actually, for the first time ever, starting to worry about my future. I turned twenty-five almost a year ago, and I have had a hard time with it, I think. In a couple of weeks, I'll be twenty-six--my "late" twenties--and I'm lately afraid of not going to grad school, not getting married, not living a filled-up life...
    INFJ

    "I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

  6. #36
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    No...
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

  7. #37
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post






    No...

    Don't worry, dear Magic. The coyotes will get you.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  8. #38
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Oh, no they won't.
    I'll live for the opportuniy to make it better, I've never been suicidal.

    Besides, I think I've lost them...
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

  9. #39
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I'm no longer calling the shots after the bomb of lupus got dropped on me. I found myself struggling a lot. Standing over a running engine is a bad time to pass out. I almost did once on a rainy afternoon beneath a Bel Air that was up on jacks - even worse. My foreman began hovering over me, worrying, telling me to sit down, looking at me like I was going to blow away. It didn't register to me that I was really sick until I collapsed one night coming out of a movie with friends.

    I don't look sick. I look fine. But needless to say, I'm no longer a mechanic. I suppose I had never believed that I would always be a mechanic, but I *did* believe that I would be one until such time as I chose to quit. I needed a dependable job. I wasn't going to college.

    Writing and drawing are what I'm good at, but I never thought I'd be doing both at gunpoint. Pain makes an already intense ENFJ more so, and I don't want to be MORE intense. I want to be normal.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  10. #40
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I'm no longer calling the shots after the bomb of lupus got dropped on me. I found myself struggling a lot. Standing over a running engine is a bad time to pass out. I almost did once on a rainy afternoon beneath a Bel Air that was up on jacks - even worse. My foreman began hovering over me, worrying, telling me to sit down, looking at me like I was going to blow away. It didn't register to me that I was really sick until I collapsed one night coming out of a movie with friends.

    I don't look sick. I look fine. But needless to say, I'm no longer a mechanic. I suppose I had never believed that I would always be a mechanic, but I *did* believe that I would be one until such time as I chose to quit. I needed a dependable job. I wasn't going to college.

    Writing and drawing are what I'm good at, but I never thought I'd be doing both at gunpoint. Pain makes an already intense ENFJ more so, and I don't want to be MORE intense. I want to be normal.



    I'm intense for at least half of most everyday, and I don't even have an excuse.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


    _________________________________
    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

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