Sort of. I've made it to the right place to be what I wanted to be, and I'm doing work that puts me in the same general world as the people I want to emulate. The problem is that the lifestlye of this world is very taxing and disheartening unless you've achieved a certain level of success, and my window for success is rapidly closing. I'm beginning to entertain life-changing alternatives to what is really the only career path I had passion for.
Dost thou love Life? Then do not squander Time; for that's the Stuff Life is made of.
-- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, June 1746 --
Sort of. More specifically: no, not exactly, but I am living the best alternative that could be made out of the shit cards I got dealt, and I'm looking forward to a future that looks very much like things will be mended and put as they were meant to be from the start.
I always wanted to be a monk, but being born female kind of put a dampener on that. I ended up trying to make a stereotypical female of myself to cure myself of what I thought was the insanity of being transsexual, and so ended up with two kids and a husband. I shed the old skin and changed sex (a painful process as those who are following Jennifer's blog will attest), but that still left me the single parent of two kids. But having lost the husband and begun working for the Church, whilst supporting myself amply through my own business efforts, as well as being surrounded by great friends (most of the time), I'm as happy as I could be given the situation. And I'm looking forward to, when the kids grow up and leave home, joining an Anglican monastery as was the original intention as a Franciscan friar (i.e. NOT the secluded, cloistered away, serious type but the jolly, active-in-the-community, guest-welcoming type - think Friar Tuck!).
Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!
"When it all comes down to dust
I will kill you if I must
I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen
No and yes. I'm in a decent place, but some critical aspects of the life I want are missing, but I'm fairly certain in time those will be filled in, this includes someone who I can't be with right now but will want to be with in the future.
The reality is we can't always have what we want right now, and we can't always look ahead to the future or we lose sight of the now, so you have to draw a line between the two extremes, in my eyes I have done that, and I'm on my course to the life I want: being a computer scientist, a fair financial situation, college done, with person I love.
That is all.
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by ignorance.
As for myself, I divide myself between my J side [oh yes, I have one, sometimes....] which tells me I am not where I want to be.
This doesn't mean I want to give up on the issue, or my goals, or you can call it my dreams I suppose, but like a lot of you it seems, at the moment I don't quite know how I am going to get where I want to or where I REALLY want to be, I have a rough idea, but there's no set anything.
I want to look into doing anything with physics, mostly astrophysics, maybe physical computer models, but at the same time I feel I have all of this creativity and people keep telling me I'm good at a lot of other stuff [specifically graphic/web design] and that can make me money in certain areas.
However, my love for physics has started ever since I was a little chook . I don't think there was ever a moment I wasn't somehow interested in it, either without knowing what it was or when I learned what the hell it all was in High School.
I am not even that much INTO it as other people or other physicists and enthusiasts are; but for an INTP and for how I am [I get bored with a lot of things] it says something when I actually check out books on the subject and read them.
So no, the flow of my strategy to get anywhere is fluid, dynamic, and I know right now I am not where I wish I was, but there are areas of my life that are, and others in the same sectors that are certainly recuperating from hard blows; but the whole adventure is sufficient for me to keep on going.
Is it reaching certain goals or the pursuit thereof and being proud looking back? I don't think so.
Is it reaching a crucial point in the heuristic process of "knowing thyself well', so that you discover what your 'true potential and needs' correspond to and to live according to the prognosis? I think the process is precious, but does it mean getting to what is wanted in life?
I don't believe in any recipe predicting satisfaction with the course of one's life, not even a pattern and not even in a set number of parameters.
It could be interesting to look at Schopenhauer's "free will is an illusion" when it comes to how one wants their life to be, but it really is depressing (unless I'm looking at it from the wrong angle).
I wanted two things:
I wanted to be happily married to the man of my dreams
I wanted to be a famous singer/songwriter
While I have been married for 25 years and have 3 great kids,
I do lament the fact that I am probably never going to realize my dream of a music career.
Once I started approaching 40, I figured it was all over for me.
Accepting the failure sent me into a deep depression that lasted several years.
Now that I've seen American Idol a couple of seasons,
I realize I never did have the talent to become a superstar,
but, I still have the artistic need to express my heart and mind through music.
I've learned to be content with the small local opportunities I get.
Nope. I like the striving. If I had what I wanted, I would be not know what to do with myself.
Still, recently I have felt like I had no direction, no growth, and was not making any progress what-so-ever for a while. I don't like stagnation. I crave some change and growth.
So, even in the wanting to strive for something, I am not very satisfied. It seems like the world as a whole has started to lose its collective imagination, and wants everyone to set mediocre goals.
Forget the space eleveator, forget Mars, pay lip service to energy independence, pay lip-service to ending poverty, ....
Luckily, there are still, there are some rather powerful (i.e. rich) indivuals who have grand visions. Thank goodness for that.
Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future. Robot Fusion
"As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
"[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
"[P]etabytes of  data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield