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Thread: I don't care!

  1. #1
    No Cigar Litvyak's Avatar
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    Default I don't care!

    In the last few years, I've noticed that I've lost interest in most of the stuff people around me talk about. I'd like to think that I've got quite a few interests and hobbies, I love debates, but I simply can't keep up with lighthearted discussions and social chitchat that makes up 90% of conversations, no matter how hard I try. This is especially obvious in my current state, since I'll start my first semester at a university, and all the newbies are trying to know each other before september. It looks like that in this first stage of group development, everybody seeks connections and similarities to impress others; they talk about seemingly unimportant things, like who did what when and where, who knows whom, favorites etc.

    Now, it's either that they actually enjoy these subjects (which I find unlikely), or they are trying to "connect" with each other, as I've stated before. I'm not a robot (no, really ), and I know that the forming of the team is extremely important, it's just that I find it really hard to pretend that I care about this stuff. Personal stories of people bore the HELL out of me (think about parties, gatherings etc.), and I almost instantly start to think about something else. If I...

    a) don't do and don't say anything without pretending to care while the group is still in the discussion, I feel alienated almost instantly, which is a serious handicap in most cases;

    b) try to change the subject, somehow I'm either perceived as impolite or strange -> awkward situations.

    I think I just don't care about people I don't find interesting enough. In my last school, strangers came to greet me every day with a friendly smile, and I didn't know where we've met and how we know each other.

    Do you think I should keep trying, is it worth it? Know any techniques to keep up with the discussion? Did you ever have such problems? Is this an MBTI-related issue?

    I hope I made myself clear enough (ugh, english...). Comments are welcome.

  2. #2
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    You seem ILI in socionics, what you're going through seems to be a natural Gamma quadra thing... I hate dealing with that shit too believe me. You know when you find people that you can totally be yourself around, and none of that happens? Probably fellow quadra members. Gamma Quadra - Wikisocion Gamma is awesome.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  3. #3
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    I'm the exact same way. I can't abide idle chit-chat. I wish I could, because I am interested in people, just not the mundane events of their life. When someone starts talking about what they cooked last night, I start looking for an exit, fast. When you figure out a solution to this issue, let me know.

  4. #4
    Senior Member iamathousandapples's Avatar
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    Most people are dismally boring and force themselves on you like a leech, usually dully answering questions keeps the leeches at bay so that I can hang out with my 3 or 4 true friends or the group I give a damn about.

  5. #5
    Junior Member Meseri's Avatar
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    You just need a small group of freinds that you mesh well with, screw the rest of the world. Well... if you really want to get along with others better I suppose you could really through yourself into conversations that do intrest you when they happen to develope. And when it gets mundane again just act like you have something on your mind and that your sorry that you seem distracted. Most people will just think that your really comteplative and will appreciate it when you do include yourself in the subject matter.
    There is no question about wether or not we'll die. The real question is, will you truley live?

  6. #6
    No Cigar Litvyak's Avatar
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    You're most propably right about small groups. Sometimes I wonder if others think I'm boring because of my inability to join in the chitchat. Whatever, fuck'em, I guess behaving naturally is the best thing I can do.

  7. #7
    Phantonym
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    Quote Originally Posted by Litvyak View Post
    You're most propably right about small groups. Sometimes I wonder if others think I'm boring because of my inability to join in the chitchat. Whatever, fuck'em, I guess behaving naturally is the best thing I can do.
    Yeah, I used to be worried about that too. Until I realized that I'm not anybody's clown and as long as I don't bore myself, I'm OK. Being yourself is the only way to go and if people around you don't care (because they're most probably worried about how they appear to other people) then yeah, whatever.

  8. #8
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    It's probably Beta language, it's hard to involve yourself in it, unless you are a beta quadra member. It would be a good idea to find people that you click with, the ones that you can say anything you want to, and then just group them together, introduce them to each other and create your very own gamma group dynamic. I've noticed these quadras coming into play very often, I find certain styles of communication supremely irksome, I don't mind beta too much, it's actually gamma and delta styles that send me into a super anti-social spiral of misanthropic proportions. Often it is very much about control, if you can dominate a conversation, I find that you'll be very happy, but often others will be pissed off. When certain types of people band together, you'll find that they'll share a common interest in not being able to understand where you're coming from
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  9. #9
    Sniffles
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    Quote Originally Posted by Litvyak View Post
    In the last few years, I've noticed that I've lost interest in most of the stuff people around me talk about. I'd like to think that I've got quite a few interests and hobbies, I love debates, but I simply can't keep up with lighthearted discussions and social chitchat that makes up 90% of conversations, no matter how hard I try.
    Welcome to the club, I'm very much the same. Unless it's one-on-one conversation; I usually can't stand chit-chat very much. Even on Vent I'm usually aloof and quiet during most discussions.

  10. #10
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    I like chit-chat if it evolves into something else. If it stays put, I get bored.

    Hope that makes sense.

    I mean, if it is a jumping point off into an in-depth discussion, cool. It is really hard to just START with an in-depth discussion right off the bat.

    In addition, it also depends on my mood. Sometimes I just want to chill out and talk about nonsensical BS. Other times, I want to get away from nonsensical BS and have a real conversation. It just depends.

    Furthermore, it depends on the topic. Chit-chat about what new car someone has or sports really pisses me off. I mean: Who gives a shit about that? Or who is screwing who, and which star scandal is going on? That does not relate to my life or life in general. Talking about the weather is also boring because it is a pseudo-topic. Ten seconds tops and then NEXT!

    News can be a good hopping point. Or what's going on at work. Or plans and stuff. But just as a hopping point.

    However, in general, I would agree that PROLONGED chit-chat angers me.
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