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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    So we was chatting away (me and my mum) on Monday (it was her birthday) about men and the good times we had had.
    Then the mood went sombre and she started talking about the not so good stuff. I told her i only remembered one really bad incident with my stap father (no2) and she told me there were so many more with him being violent around us children and reeled them off to me. Honestly i can't remember a thing of it.

    She told of a huge argument we had one time and i didn't talk to her for 3 days. Apparantly she came to the hostel where i was staying, put a letter under the door and fell into a stoop and started crying. I eventually opened the door and she hugged me. Again, can't remember this.

    She told me about one more incident several years ago regarding my now ex, i am not going into detail over this one but its very sad. I found something apparantly, rang my mum crying my heart out, she came and saw it for herself and consoled me. I don't remember this incident. So i don't even remember what the outcome of it was.

    So i went to bed early this morning trying to remember where i was at those moments, the layout of the house, an idea of how i would of been feeling and tried to trigger these memories. Nothing.

    My ex used to bring up arguments of the past and for the most part i couldn't even remember the argument. On occasions, i could turn round and say 'No, i didn't say that, i said, blah, blah, blah'.

    The thing is, i have a great memory. I still know my full address from 16 years ago. I know everyone's birthday/anniversary etc. This though is really perplexing me.

    Shit happens, i know this. But where are these memories? Can you just forget? If i have repressed them, why can't i get them back?
    I know you may possibly 'forget' for a reason. Shouldn't i be able to raise these memories should i choose.

    Has this happened to you?

    Thoughts please.
    OH, you're one of those people!

    It's as if unpleasant things simply did not happen, drives me crazy when I run into those people.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Ism's Avatar
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    Alright, so, pulling this from my interactive Psychology CD that I did not steal from school, it says this:

    Forgetting may involve decay, interference, or repression.

    The fact that apparently forgotten information can be recovered through meditation, hypnosis, or brain stimulation suggests that at least some memories never decay.

    A person may subconciously block memories of an embarrassing or frightening experience. This kind of forgetting is called repression. The material still exists in the person's memory, but it has been made inaccessible because it is so disturbing.
    Like the above said, though, memory is unreliable, and what memory is supposedly recovered may not be an actual memory at all, but a fake memory manufactured to be real based on other subconcious/environmental factors.

    Elizabeth Loftus does a lot of work with memory, and doubts the validity or existence of repressed memory.

    It's probably because of the methods used to unearth the memory mentioned above, and the fact that it opens the door to a lot of chance for false memory to fit what may or may not be suggested. The individual's own agenda and perception on what may have been an fictional or actual event also affects what they 'remember'.

    Anywho, yes, it's recognized as an actual occurrence, though there are doubters/non-believers.

    Edit: I knew this would happen. I was reffering to Victor's post, not the one actually above me.

  3. #13
    S Saiyan God Mace's Avatar
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    When you pick your crowd, and know your own 'place', bad memories (literally) tend to become a thing of the past - that's saying, you're settling in.

  4. #14
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Hey Saslou, sounds like you naturally go into 'protective mode' and forget things. I wonder if that is a good or bad thing? Because you may still have the emotional fall out from the memories - like really dislikng someone (but not knowing why) or being tense and anxious around certain triggers (times of year, etc.) and not knowing why.

    If you could truly cleanse yourself of an event in your history, that would be great. Like "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"

    I don't think it's that easy though...

    Si is my 4th function - my memory though is surprisingly good. My short term memory is EXCELLENT and in the long term, I can rattle off events because I take a 360 3D snapshot of them. I have excellent EMOTIONAL memory, but that's not always a good thing. And all of that ^^ applies only to certain memories though...

    I used to remember traumatic events TOO well, and I had to train myself to ignore them when I got stuck in a pointless loop with them. After a while, remembering something just for the sake of remembering it is NOT helpful.

    There are also ways to "discharge" negative emotions related to tarumas and bad memories. Some have to do with religion, some hippie-dippie stuff, some psychotherapy related, some a mixture of the above. You can find some ways online or at the library.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

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  5. #15
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    OH, you're one of those people!

    It's as if unpleasant things simply did not happen, drives me crazy when I run into those people.
    What do you mean, one of those people. Lol.
    Unpleasant stuff has happened and i remember them very well unfortunately.
    Ahhh, what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.

    Quote Originally Posted by Airporte View Post
    Alright, so, pulling this from my interactive Psychology CD that I did not steal from school, it says this:



    Like the above said, though, memory is unreliable, and what memory is supposedly recovered may not be an actual memory at all, but a fake memory manufactured to be real based on other subconcious/environmental factors.

    Elizabeth Loftus does a lot of work with memory, and doubts the validity or existence of repressed memory.

    It's probably because of the methods used to unearth the memory mentioned above, and the fact that it opens the door to a lot of chance for false memory to fit what may or may not be suggested. The individual's own agenda and perception on what may have been an fictional or actual event also affects what they 'remember'.

    Anywho, yes, it's recognized as an actual occurrence, though there are doubters/non-believers.

    Edit: I knew this would happen. I was reffering to Victor's post, not the one actually above me.
    I buy a psychology magazine each month and recently it was talking about memories and how over time we warp them to our current mindset. I am aware that memeories can become distorted/twisted. I suppose that is why i best leave them alone.

    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Hey Saslou, sounds like you naturally go into 'protective mode' and forget things. I wonder if that is a good or bad thing? Because you may still have the emotional fall out from the memories - like really dislikng someone (but not knowing why) or being tense and anxious around certain triggers (times of year, etc.) and not knowing why.

    If you could truly cleanse yourself of an event in your history, that would be great. Like "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"

    I don't think it's that easy though...

    Si is my 4th function - my memory though is surprisingly good. My short term memory is EXCELLENT and in the long term, I can rattle off events because I take a 360 3D snapshot of them. I have excellent EMOTIONAL memory, but that's not always a good thing. And all of that ^^ applies only to certain memories though...

    I used to remember traumatic events TOO well, and I had to train myself to ignore them when I got stuck in a pointless loop with them. After a while, remembering something just for the sake of remembering it is NOT helpful.

    There are also ways to "discharge" negative emotions related to tarumas and bad memories. Some have to do with religion, some hippie-dippie stuff, some psychotherapy related, some a mixture of the above. You can find some ways online or at the library.
    Thank you. Like i said above, i do remember some pretty horrific memories which i would rather forget, but they are ingrained now and part of the past.
    I think it is 'better the devil you know'. It is OK to discharge these emotions but it may possibly open a new can of worms. I have to find these emotions though, connected to these memories which i have simply forgot about. Oh what a challenge.
    Maybe hypnosis.
    Some thing has made me despise myself, maybe one day i will find the root to it.
    Anyway. Got to get on with living.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    What do you mean, one of those people. Lol.
    Unpleasant stuff has happened and i remember them very well unfortunately.
    Ahhh, what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.
    Yeah, but you don't seem to remember it always. I might not remember everything right off the top of my head, but if someone describes the situation I'll remember it. I don't have blank spots like that.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Yeah, but you don't seem to remember it always. I might not remember everything right off the top of my head, but if someone describes the situation I'll remember it. I don't have blank spots like that.
    Is it wrong then to have blank spots?
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Is it wrong then to have blank spots?
    Not wrong, just exasperating for others to deal with.

  9. #19
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Thank you. Like i said above, i do remember some pretty horrific memories which i would rather forget, but they are ingrained now and part of the past.
    I think it is 'better the devil you know'. It is OK to discharge these emotions but it may possibly open a new can of worms. I have to find these emotions though, connected to these memories which i have simply forgot about. Oh what a challenge.
    Maybe hypnosis.
    Some thing has made me despise myself, maybe one day i will find the root to it.
    Anyway. Got to get on with living.
    No problem! And I understand what you mean. I think the human body does everything to protect/help you - even if that is not necessarily the case.

    I think with memory repression, your mind is merely holding things off until you have the resources to deal with them. So it's buying you time but one day the goal is that you can deal with them some way, directly or not.

    As for Mac's comments, LOL - I think it'd different to forget things that you did to other people as opposed to forgetting things that happened to you.

    I dated someone (INFP!) who constantly and conveniently "forgot" things or else altered the events in her mind about things that SHE did and said (to ME). Exasperating? Hell yes. But I think when it's mostly memories about things that happened to you it's a little different.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  10. #20
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Not wrong, just exasperating for others to deal with.
    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    No problem! And I understand what you mean. I think the human body does everything to protect/help you - even if that is not necessarily the case.

    I think with memory repression, your mind is merely holding things off until you have the resources to deal with them. So it's buying you time but one day the goal is that you can deal with them some way, directly or not.

    As for Mac's comments, LOL - I think it'd different to forget things that you did to other people as opposed to forgetting things that happened to you.

    I dated someone (INFP!) who constantly and conveniently "forgot" things or else altered the events in her mind about things that SHE did and said (to ME). Exasperating? Hell yes. But I think when it's mostly memories about things that happened to you it's a little different.
    I shall look into this memory repression a little more.

    I take accountability for my actions (and am a realist), i suppose with me when it comes to arguments/discusions with others. I don't put to much weight to it.
    Pissed off - discussion - conclusion - move on. Its a process. For me personally to have another person say "you said this, that and the other" I don't always remember as it was cleared up in the past. Its done now. It happened and i learnt from it. I don't understand why it needs to be dragged up again to prove some point.
    Can't please everyone.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

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