I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. - Jack Kerouac
Louis C. K.
Demetri Martin, etc., etc., etc.
God, I love stand-up so much. I would do it if I didn't have such terrible stage fright.
Denis Leary (when he's not directly ripping off Bill Hicks)
And I'm beginning to really love Daniel Tosh
"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you...amazing things will happen" --Conan O'Brien