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  1. #21
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kelric View Post
    Good thread idea, Halla . For perspective, I'm 38.
    Thank you, Kelric! I have much respect for my elders!


    Quote Originally Posted by kelric View Post
    That although it's true that it's never too late, some things really are easier when you're in your earlier 20's. Mostly I'm thinking meeting people for relationships - that gets much more difficult, and by "focusing on school/work" or thinking "I'll get around to it someday" you're quite possibly doing yourself a disservice. Take a few risks when you're younger - don't feel pressured to succeed professionally at all costs, and don't be afraid to fail. This is the time in your life to take a few chances and learn those lessons. Failing at those things now isn't the end of the world - even if you think you can't abide the possibility.
    Kelric I think you have revealed one of the most sinister falsehoods that society indoctrinates us all with when we are young: "Go out and WORK! Make MONEY! You need to do it NOW or you will NEVER amount to ANYTHING!"

    Bullshit! They are already plugged into the grgid and looking for cheap labor (young people) to work their asses off and make themselves rich. I am soglad you pointed this out because when I was 20 I was so guilt ridden about not having starteed a ".dot-com" company or some other entrepeneurial fiasco, but now I don't care. Why? Same answer as you, my friend, I met GREAT PEOPLE, namely my wife, and my core group of friends. We had a blast, we all went through our own hell over the years, and have all been there for each other. I now have two great little kids. My career? It's not flat lined, I'm doing OK, I'm not loaded, but I'm not starving, and I have time to enjoy my life and the wonderful people in it.

    Gold Star for you on this one, will place in your personnel file...

    Quote Originally Posted by kelric View Post
    Don't let life pass you by. Work hard - don't do anything stupid, but don't be afraid to take time out, either. Finishing school early might seem important now... ten years from now you'll wish you'd spent another year there, or traveling, or getting some life experience that school can't give you. And that extra year working will almost certainly mean nothing in the long run.
    Work hard, play hard but play safe, hell yes! And those roses, those beautiful roses along the way, take a minute and smell them, they won't be there forever.

    Quote Originally Posted by kelric View Post
    #1. Told that college crush how I felt about her. I waited to let things "work themselves out" - she met someone else and I've regretted it ever since.
    Very deep. Take achance on love, absolutely. If the whole thing lasts for but a few days, you got more out of it than if nothing happened at all. Even if you ask and nothing happens, you still asked. That's amazing you still reflect on that. She must have been very special to you. Look her up on Facebook! Mauybe she's divorced!

    Quote Originally Posted by kelric View Post
    #2. Not tried to stick with lab research as long as I did. I was never happy with it, but was determined to finish my project. Lost 5 years that way. Should have made a career change much earlier.
    Guilty. I stayed in IT waaaay longer than I wanted to. I hated it, but I was comfy wnough to go in everyday and make my paycheck while my soul began to rot. NEVER AGAIN.


    Quote Originally Posted by kelric View Post
    #1. Fallen in with a fantastic group of friends when I moved to a different part of the country. It wouldn't have taken much for me to hole up in my apartment when I moved here, but I didn't. Even now that we only see each other a couple of times a year, it's hard to think about how much less my life would be without them.
    People are my life. If my house blows away, I don't care as long as all my loved one's are OK and with me. Material things matter not, people are the real treasure of life. Good wisdom!

    Quote Originally Posted by kelric View Post
    #2. The boring stuff. Finances. I have a mortgage now, which I might not have done again, but I don't have any credit card or school loans to worry about. It's easy to get into trouble that way when you're in your early 20's (banks will really try to suck you in), and that sort of trouble stays with you for a LONG time. Staying away from that was a good choice.
    Boring...but SO critical. I'm doing OK here with a relatively low debt profile but man, oh man, is it easy for stuff to go wrong in a hurry, like you said. Those banks will suck you dry in advance, each and every time. It's a real nightmare to pay off a big chunk of debt. I've done it once and it suuuuuucked.

    Kelric, you are THE MAN. Thank you very much for taking the time to reflect and contribute to this thread. I hope you are doing well.

    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    I'd tell myself to relax. Not everything has to mean something. Not everything has to be taken seriously.
    Spoken with confidence! It's OK to enjoy your life, isn't it? An amazing concept! I keep myself driven and motivated, but I pepper my time with ME-TIME as I have found it really helps to keep my "stress pressure cooker" in the safe zone of operation. Just an hour nap at the pool does wonders for me. I feel so much better. Goofing off is great!

    Quote Originally Posted by run View Post
    word
    Peace to tha' reals. Death to tha' fakers. 40 oz. dreams and watermelon wishes to all!

  2. #22
    sophiloist Kaizer's Avatar
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    Halla, you didn't mention 'sheee-pHooo'
    The answer must be in the attempt
    avy url : natgeocreative Photo

  3. #23
    Member Maya Z's Avatar
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    Hi, there is a lot of wonderful advice here that it is easy to forget! Thank you to everyone!

  4. #24
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Things I'm glad I did during those years and would do over again:

    Spent time getting to know older people. I learned a lot from them and made some very good friends.

    Went home frequently during university. I think this helped keep me grounded and renewed my perspective by being away for a couple of days. It also allowed me to get to know my parents more as adults and experience the hard parts of our family life (my siblings going through growing pains in their marriage, dealing with the adjustments of having kids etc) from the perspective of an adult. I got to see close up how different choices worked and also to feel the pain and pleasure of being deeply emotionally invested. This time also afforded opportunities to talk over my growing up years with my parents and get a better understanding of different circumstances and what they liked or didn't like about how they did things back then. It helped me see that even parents always are growing and changing. I also started seeing my parents more as real people with needs and sorrows and happinesses.

    Asked for advice when I bought my first car. I ended up getting a two year old lease back Tercel which I got for an excellent price and now have nine years later. I phoned up a bunch of people that I thought would know something about vehicles, as well as polling the people I knew regarding what they had bought through the years.

    Got involved with extended family. I think because this was of value to my parents while I was growing up, the foundations were there to develop these relationships. They spent a lot of money through the years on phone calls and gas and made it a priority to keep in touch regularly and communicate the value of that to us. Those people have gone on to become good friends in good times and bad, stand in siblings, sources of advice, a living lab to watch how things have turned out, and a way to learn more about who I am.

    Travelled. I have learned a lot from meeting many kinds of people, as well as gained confidence from learning to navigate in unfamiliar circumstances.

    Got an education soon after school, which has since allowed me the financial freedom to do more since I have started working.

    Didn't get married before 25. Well, I'm still not married, but I think there are so many important things to do and learn and experience during those years that for me, I am glad that I had the freedom I needed to do that.

    Had a worldview to use as a framework for making the major decisions in my life.

    Chose to live near university, rather than somewhere where I would have to take the bus. This saved a lot of time and also ensured I was more likely to spend the time at school that I needed to.

    Experienced living with roommates and other families. I don't know if I'd want to go back to doing it, but living with and adjusting to other people in a solution-oriented way is an invaluable life skill best learned early.

    Did not waste my summers throughout high school and university at minimum wage jobs. My summers mostly included travel, but often with some educational goal worked in: a class, a summer of language immersion, Suzuki teacher training. I ended up making up the money I had lost once I had professional training and I got a lot of fun experiences and credentials in the meantime.

    Lived in another culture. It is very hard to notice things that are part of our every day scenery. It's only when you step out of your own "scenery" that you really get to understand what it is and what you think of it. I lived in both the States (2 yrs) and on a reserve (5 years), as well as two summers in Quebec and 1 summer in Newfoundland (a Canadian, English speaking province with a very distinct culture from the rest of Canada).

    Got involved with children as an aunt and as a teacher and a volunteer. I think if I do become a parent, I will have more experience, more realistic expectations and more fun.

    Worked intensively with children alongside a SO. This showed us how our upbringings were very different, basic assumptions we made about parenting, what issues came up frequently, what our respective strengths were, and what our personal philosophies of childrearing were. I don't think most people without children who have also not worked together with children would be able to articulate these things to a potential partner, because they are not sure of them themselves. This was very enlightening for both of us (both disappointing and encouraging in different ways). Had we been parents together, we would have had a much more realistic idea of where the challenges would come up and how to make the most of our strengths.

  5. #25
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chi'xer View Post
    Halla, you didn't mention 'sheee-pHooo'
    Say what?



    You lost me!

  6. #26
    Feline Member kelric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Thank you, Kelric! I have much respect for my elders!
    - I don't think anyone's ever referred to me as "elder" before...

    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Kelric I think you have revealed one of the most sinister falsehoods that society indoctrinates us all with when we are young: "Go out and WORK! Make MONEY! You need to do it NOW or you will NEVER amount to ANYTHING!"

    Bullshit! They are already plugged into the grid and looking for cheap labor (young people) to work their asses off and make themselves rich.
    Heh - I think that's a good portion of it - and it's sort of a hamster-wheel... if you don't get used to having more money that comes with it (when I was in grad-school, I was dirt-poor), you don't really miss it, and can enjoy yourself in other ways... but once you get the house/car/payment thing going, it's hard to get off of it .

    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    That's amazing you still reflect on that. She must have been very special to you. Look her up on Facebook! Maybe she's divorced!
    Hah - well, she was. A friend-leaning toward more, and I waited too long and somebody else (who I still half-think of as "the smug bastard") asked her out first. Last time I ever saw her was at their wedding.

    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Guilty. I stayed in IT waaaay longer than I wanted to. I hated it, but I was comfy wnough to go in everyday and make my paycheck while my soul began to rot. NEVER AGAIN.
    Yeah - I moved *into* IT, so I know what you're talking about, for sure. Parts of it that I just completely dislike, but am hanging on for now. My old job (lab research) was one of those comfy situations too - not financially (the pay was awful), but our lab was a very fun place to be - was sort of like hanging out with friends all day. Hard to step away from, but had to be done.

    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Kelric, you are THE MAN. Thank you very much for taking the time to reflect and contribute to this thread. I hope you are doing well.
    Well, I guess that makes up for the "elder" comment . Thanks yourself
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #27
    Senior Member WoodsWoman's Avatar
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    Good heavens - I'm feeling like the local dinosaur.

  8. #28

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    [YOUTUBE="RyL2vAUVOM0"]Time[/YOUTUBE]

    Enjoy life. Thought I had something more to say...

  9. #29
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    ^Those two words speak volumes, Brother Wolfy!


  10. #30
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    I'm 21 but I would like to tell all the younger kids to listen to their parents. When I was little, my parents used to force me take lessons in piano or other stuffs but I hated it. Now I look back, I wish I had followed their advice

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