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  1. #11
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WoodsWoman View Post
    Halla you have some great stuff here!
    Hey, THANKS!

    Quote Originally Posted by WoodsWoman View Post
    Delayed gratification is the sweetest gift you can give yourself.
    OK, that one went right over my head. Could you please provide a tangible example of delayed gratification? I am considerably compulsive, and need lots of help here.

    Quote Originally Posted by WoodsWoman View Post
    Death is a guarantee - but when you loose someone important to you it will turn your world upside down. Find ways to say "I love you" and make NOW count.
    MAJORLY IMPORTANT. Wow. I am so fortunate in that I have not lost any of my nuclear family members. Two of my cousins have died in the last 4 years. I was very close to one of them. Like many stressful things in life, I as many extroverts do, blank them out and move on and they hit us later. This happened when my cousin died. My Mom told me of his death; he was closer to her than his own Mom (my Aunt), so I was there for her as she went through the initial stages of grief.

    Then a week or two later I picked up the phone to call him as I regularly did and it just rang, and I realized he would never be on the other end of the line again. That is when it hit me. His loss is truly the deepest sadness in my heart. The only thing that counters it is the joy we both shared in the times we had together. We laughed our asses off, we talked about everything under the sun, and he was one of the first people to tell me about me, and helped me understand myself, as he had known me since I was a baby and back then he was already a teenager.

    Quote Originally Posted by WoodsWoman View Post
    All relationships end in pain - the good as well as the bad - so don't let it stand in the way of what happiness you can find.
    AWESOME!

    Quote Originally Posted by WoodsWoman View Post
    There isn't much I wouldn't do all over again given the opportunity other than help my husband put our old cat down when it was time. Yes, I learned something - leave that sort of stuff to someone else...
    That's a man's job. You did the right thing outsourcing that to him. I had my German Shepherd, Sidney, put down a few years ago. He was 13, and had hip dysplasia badly. Before he began to suffer I called the vet and arranged for him to come to the house so Sid wouldn't get stressed out. He liked our vet, which helped. For three days I took time off work and hung out with him, my wife did too, and we made sure the kids spent extra time with him, but couldn't tell them what was going on, they were much too young. The vet came, I spoke with him for a few minutes, he asked me if I wanted to leave the room, and I declined. I sat there and looked at Sid and talked to him as the vet and the tech did what had to be done. He was relaxed, no fear, his big brown eyes were open and he had a doggy smile as his mouth was partially open as he was breathing, and only moments later his eyes closed and he breathed no more. He was big dog, I had to help the vet take him to the clinic. He's cremated and we have his ashed in huge synthetic rock which rests in his favorite corner in our dining room. I cried like a baby for days, I'm getting choked up now for crying out loud. He's my boy, I raised him since he was 8 weeks old, and he truly was the perfect pet and my best buddy. He went everywhere with me.

    Quote Originally Posted by WoodsWoman View Post
    FWIW I'm 42
    I thank you for giving such excellent responses. All of what you have noted are priceless tools that should be wielded in the living of a good and meaningful life.

  2. #12
    Oberon
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    1. DO NOT let your body go. It's ten times harder to get it back than it is to maintain.
    2. STOP WASTING TIME UNINTENTIONALLY. Every minute is precious and irreplaceable, so only waste time if you mean to.
    3. CONCENTRATE ON WHAT MATTERS. That's the people in your life.

  3. #13
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    The Master of All Mighty Mouse-isms drops some serious wisdom!

    Quote Originally Posted by oberon View Post
    1. DO NOT let your body go. It's ten times harder to get it back than it is to maintain.
    I am fortunate to have gotten into really good shape early in life and kept it through the critical transition between graduating high school and entering the real world (e.g. college/working). This is a critical time in my opinion because all the way through elementary school, junior high, and high school we live with our parents, we play sports or horse around for exercise, and we are on a schedule.

    All of a sudden as we leave the nest (or are booted out!) we are in charge of our nutrition, time management, and exercise. Many people I have known over the years put on the "Freshman 15" (or more) in college. Some kept going to 20, 25, 30, etc. Some caught life's hint that times have changed, their bodies had changed, and they needed to put time and effort into maintaining themselves.

    We are ANIMALS. We were NOT DESIGNED to live in air conditioned homes, watch TV/surf Internet all day, and EAT AS MANY CALORIES as we can buy at the grocery store. We were originally hunters and gatherers (natural exercise!) not couch potatoes and gluttons...

    Quote Originally Posted by oberon View Post
    2. STOP WASTING TIME UNINTENTIONALLY. Every minute is precious and irreplaceable, so only waste time if you mean to.
    The following life events made me increasingly more efficient with my time:
    (1) Having a REAL full time job.

    (2) Becoming a Father. I made up my mind instantly that my kids would have the time they needed from me, and the rest of my life would need to become more efficient to keep moving on. I worked 2-3 jobs for three years straight to keep my wife at home with our kidswhen they were young. Hardest three years of my life!

    (3) Being a Husband, a Father, working full time, and and being enrolled in graduate school part time. The second hardest three years of my life!

    Quote Originally Posted by oberon View Post
    3. CONCENTRATE ON WHAT MATTERS. That's the people in your life.
    If your house bursts into flames and you lose all you have, but you and your family get out and are all OK. You have lost nothing that cannot be replaced.

    If your house bursts into flames and you spare most of what you have, but one or more of your family dies or is mamed in the process, none of your lives will ever be the same. Even if you sold the house and all that was in it you cannot bring them back, or restore them as they were.

    Good stuff Oberon!

  4. #14
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    I am 30 so still got another 5 years to go but still I'll give it a shot.

    What i wish i knew:

    1- It's OK saving money for a dream, but i should of appreciated the here and now.
    2 - Tattoo's are not a good idea when you are emotionally unstable.
    3 - My needs should not be abandoned for someone else's.
    4 - Stop worrying about my age/looks. I still got it. (Was asked if i was over 25 yesterday, wooo hooo)
    5 - Stop giving myself such a hard time over everything.
    6 - Never be complacent.

    Thats about it for now.

    Good idea darling.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  5. #15
    Senior Member WoodsWoman's Avatar
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    Halla - delayed gratification predominately having to do with finances - you mentioned learning not to let credit cards rule your life. This is part and parcel of the same thing. Save up for what you want - don't go into debt for it. Once in a while it's unavoidable, but then the immediate job is to eliminate that debt. For instance I have no mortgage to worry me right now - and through the years put up with some unusual living circumstances to make that happen. The expense of a mortgage at this point would require I sell my home - my husband built much of it - it isn't perfect but it is perfectly adequate. Life is difficult enough at the moment without having to face that.

  6. #16
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    I am 30 so still got another 5 years to go but still I'll give it a shot.
    Shhhhhhhhhh! You just turned 25!!! Remember?!

    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    What i wish i knew...

    1- It's OK saving money for a dream, but i should of appreciated the here and now.
    Wow. That's a good one. I'm guilty of this. If I'm saving for something, I have at times let my focus get off course to enjoying that future moment, and lost the scent of the roses around me. This is a damn good reminder that it is totally possible to put the money away now, and still enjoy the moment.

    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    2 - Tattoo's are not a good idea when you are emotionally unstable.
    This is along the same lines as "Never buy things when you are wasted." I've considered a tatt on and off for years, but never could decide on anything. I know I've had periods of time where I was emotionally unstable, as has anyone else whose been alive and lived through anything of significant stress, but I always ended up running off and doing reckless shit. I never got to the tattoo, but I sure had some bills to pay when I got home. Good stuff to ponder on, Saslou!

    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    3 - My needs should not be abandoned for someone else's.
    WHOA. I sacrificed all of myself for others for years and you know what I got out of it? I BECAME A RESENTFUL BASTARD. The people you are sacrificing yourself for DON'T APPRECIATE IT. Why? They have no idea you are trying to "fix" them. They are OK as they are, or don't know better. Either way it's a waste of YOUR TIME. This is solid advice.

    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    4 - Stop worrying about my age/looks. I still got it. (Was asked if i was over 25 yesterday, wooo hooo)
    Once a beauty, always a beauty. True beauty radiates from within. It is the totality of a person that is beautiful to the one who appreciates them most. I have always believed that.

    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    5 - Stop giving myself such a hard time over everything.
    OUCH! I am SO guilty of this. I've only backed off of my needless perfectionism about EVERYTHING as I have become so BUSY that I only have time to some things as good as they NEED to be done. :steam: Stupid Halla!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    6 - Never be complacent.
    Hell no. NEVER. You did not ask to be born, and you were not put on this Earth to take shit. I applaud this statement.

    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Thats about it for now.
    You dropped some deep and heavy stuff! Thank you for sharing!

    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Good idea darling.
    Thank you darling!

    Quote Originally Posted by WoodsWoman View Post
    Halla - delayed gratification predominately having to do with finances - you mentioned learning not to let credit cards rule your life. This is part and parcel of the same thing. Save up for what you want - don't go into debt for it. Once in a while it's unavoidable, but then the immediate job is to eliminate that debt. For instance I have no mortgage to worry me right now - and through the years put up with some unusual living circumstances to make that happen. The expense of a mortgage at this point would require I sell my home - my husband built much of it - it isn't perfect but it is perfectly adequate. Life is difficult enough at the moment without having to face that.
    Got it. Very good example at making that a tangible endeavor. This is probably an area of great complexity for an extroverted sensor thinker (or feeler) perceiver, as I am. I've got to figure this out at some point. Luckily I've got the big stuff in check, but I sure as hell am a compulsive bastard.

    Thank you!!!

  7. #17
    The Architect Alwar's Avatar
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    I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a balla.

    Not 35, but I am already planning well in advance not become that middle-aged guy who buys a sports car to impress young women and relive his youth.

  8. #18
    Feline Member kelric's Avatar
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    Good thread idea, Halla . For perspective, I'm 38.

    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    So what have you learned that you wish you knew then?
    That although it's true that it's never too late, some things really are easier when you're in your earlier 20's. Mostly I'm thinking meeting people for relationships - that gets much more difficult, and by "focusing on school/work" or thinking "I'll get around to it someday" you're quite possibly doing yourself a disservice. Take a few risks when you're younger - don't feel pressured to succeed professionally at all costs, and don't be afraid to fail. This is the time in your life to take a few chances and learn those lessons. Failing at those things now isn't the end of the world - even if you think you can't abide the possibility.

    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    What do you wish to tell those younger than you to give them a chance to be wiser, or save them a little grief?
    Don't let life pass you by. Work hard - don't do anything stupid, but don't be afraid to take time out, either. Finishing school early might seem important now... ten years from now you'll wish you'd spent another year there, or traveling, or getting some life experience that school can't give you. And that extra year working will almost certainly mean nothing in the long run.

    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    What would you do over differently?
    #1. Told that college crush how I felt about her. I waited to let things "work themselves out" - she met someone else and I've regretted it ever since.
    #2. Not tried to stick with lab research as long as I did. I was never happy with it, but was determined to finish my project. Lost 5 years that way. Should have made a career change much earlier.

    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    And most importantly what would you do the same everytime because you nailed it?
    #1. Fallen in with a fantastic group of friends when I moved to a different part of the country. It wouldn't have taken much for me to hole up in my apartment when I moved here, but I didn't. Even now that we only see each other a couple of times a year, it's hard to think about how much less my life would be without them.
    #2. The boring stuff. Finances. I have a mortgage now, which I might not have done again, but I don't have any credit card or school loans to worry about. It's easy to get into trouble that way when you're in your early 20's (banks will really try to suck you in), and that sort of trouble stays with you for a LONG time. Staying away from that was a good choice.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #19
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    I'd tell myself to relax. Not everything has to mean something. Not everything has to be taken seriously.
    ~luck favors the ready~


    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance

  10. #20
    Senior Member run's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    I'd tell myself to relax. Not everything has to mean something. Not everything has to be taken seriously.
    word

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