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  1. #31
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Can we please stop with that? "You are getting emotional" is the new "you must still be in high school to think that". Half the time I've seen it used recently the other person wasn't even being all that emotional.

    If it's a stupid argument, it shouldn't be hard to display it as such.

    ... I'm angry about this and I'm not taking it anymore!!! :steam:
    lol!! I actually use that line a lot...

    Didn't realize how condescending it sounded until I read that OP

  2. #32
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Once someone "gets emotional", the issue isn't going to be solved any time soon. That's frustrating.

  3. #33
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I just stop responding and back out of the conversation. It stresses me out to speak to someone when they are in a state of agitation. I just say "ok, let's agree to disagree" or "let me think about this for a while and get back to you". At that point, they usually can tell that it's too much for me and will leave it alone. If they don't see that, then it's better for me to back out. I let people get emotional to a point and give them a grace period - but I can only be pushed so far before I hit back. So, it's like a warning shot really.
    Have you ever been able to call out someone on being emotional and have the discussion become constructive again?

    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    Once someone "gets emotional", the issue isn't going to be solved any time soon. That's frustrating.
    Oddly enough, sometimes find that "getting emotional" is an indicator that the issue is going to be resolved shortly. It depends on the person and situation. With some people, it means the facades are removed and the underlying needs can finally be addressed.

  4. #34
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    Unless they are literally stating an observation and nothing more, I treat it like any Ad Hominem. I either ignore it, or call it out for what it is. Usually, "I am emotional, therefore...?".

    I always assume I am emotional about anything my attention is on (curiosity, determination, etc.), unless my attention was guided purely through reflex. I also assume that I am in an emotional state (bored, sedate, euphoric etc.) just not the kind of emotions people normally think of (anger, sadness, disgust etc.) when they shoot out that line.

    So it's really a redundant statement to me, unless it is specified further.

    I find it's usually stupidity or lack of awareness that causes irrationality. Rarely do strong emotions do it.

  5. #35
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Have you ever been able to call out someone on being emotional and have the discussion become constructive again?
    Hmm.. Without trying to be sexist, I have been able to calm a guy down to the point of being able to talk again.. Sometimes they just get angry.. you can ACTUALLY say sometimes- "Okay, lets calm down and try to solve this." Sometimes they actually do. It makes sense... its logical.. (Well.. SOMETIMES its logical to try to calm down- other times its just useless..)

    I have never been able to do this with a female.. (or perhaps never dared to try....)

  6. #36
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Oddly enough, sometimes find that "getting emotional" is an indicator that the issue is going to be resolved shortly. It depends on the person and situation. With some people, it means the facades are removed and the underlying needs can finally be addressed.
    I see what you're saying, but this isn't necessarily the case when you speak T language. Getting emotional only leads to personal needs being addressed, rather than combating the overall stimulus. It's palliative care when we want curative care.

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    Hmm.. Without trying to be sexist, I have been able to calm a guy down to the point of being able to talk again.. Sometimes they just get angry.. you can ACTUALLY say sometimes- "Okay, lets calm down and try to solve this." Sometimes they actually do. It makes sense... its logical.. (Well.. SOMETIMES its logical to try to calm down- other times its just useless..)

    I have never been able to do this with a female.. (or perhaps never dared to try....)
    Doesn't always work with a guy. Seriously depends on the guy. SERIOUSLY.

  8. #38
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    Hmm.. Without trying to be sexist, I have been able to calm a guy down to the point of being able to talk again.. Sometimes they just get angry.. you can ACTUALLY say sometimes- "Okay, lets calm down and try to solve this." Sometimes they actually do. It makes sense... its logical.. (Well.. SOMETIMES its logical to try to calm down- other times its just useless..)
    That makes sense. I imagine it would be pretty embarrassing to be called out on being emotional by a girl, face to face. It's almost like an instant shot of "man the hell up". It won't work on all guys, but it will work on many. It would work on me.

  9. #39
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    yea, that's true.. definitely a blow to the ego..

    They don't normally get all teary eyed or sad but when they are all raging and pissy its the same thing, (just the male version of it.) Its still an emotional reaction.

    If anything they probably calm down just to prove that they are calm, rational headed men. Not to actually solve the problem that we're arguing about.

  10. #40
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Have you ever been able to call out someone on being emotional and have the discussion become constructive again?
    It depends on the type...

    Not right away with ENFxs, for the most part. OneWithSoul proved to me yesterday that ENFPs can be totally kick ass and self aware. He's awesome. But some ENFPs tend to go on a defensive tirade while ENFJs tend to go on the offensive. Eventually, after a good night's sleep, the conversation can continue.

    With other types, there is usually a faster turnover. Sometimes like 20 minutes or so. Although, with ESTxs, they get emotional and shut you down when you call them on it - and the conversation will never continue.

    Lol, I was just thinking about my ESFJ sis-in-law smashing plates in the kitchen screaming "so what if I'm emotional!!! it doesn't change anything!!!!" (but she always calms down after making some racket and then the conversation can continue on as scheduled.

    xNTJs will get all dismissive and start belittling or name calling. But after an hour or two, they will generally come around again.

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