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  1. #21
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Why wouldn't you be good enough? Good enough for what?
    True, even mentally challenged persons are able to help and be thanked for it. Could it be a problem with inferiority complex or low self-esteem? I am NOT classifying others for that as I have my own issues with these also, but I have read many times people who have a hard time accepting compliments generally have self-esteem issues.

    Google pulls forth tons of pages.

    Here's a random one I just pulled up (third paragraph last line): What Do You Say? - Why Accepting Compliments is so Hard and How to Simply Say, Thank You

    On a side note. I don't have to agree with the whole article, but he makes a point about accepting compliments.
    Johari / Nohari

    Enneagram 1w2/Lifepath 1/first zodiac sign Aries/first Chinese zodiac sign RAT/first born in my siblings of 3. Did I forget to mention first?

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  2. #22
    Senior Member BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Why wouldn't you be good enough? Good enough for what?
    Can't speak for the other guy, but ...

    For me, it's good enough for my own standards. But I can see how that can be mis-read as low self-esteem. I'm actually very confident.

    If I think it's good, it's good. If I think it's bad, a compliment won't affect my opinion.

    But again, I do appreciate the intent.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eiddy View Post
    Here's a random one I just pulled up (third paragraph last line): What Do You Say? - Why Accepting Compliments is so Hard and How to Simply Say, Thank You
    OK so i just read the third paragraph. Interesting. Everyone knows i have self esteem issues, who wouldn't after that crap. It will get better. In the workplace/on a course etc, if i get a compliment for my hard work, i accept it and walk away with a sense of pride becuase i did work hard. If an individual gives me a compliment, it is far less easier to accept, your spinning me a line, being polite so not to offend me or something silly like that, and i can and have shrugged it off as a 'your lying'. I never considered though how the other person felt as my eyes are rolling. omg.

    I'll give it a go next time and see what happens without the negative thinking.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  4. #24
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    I think for a long time people didn't compliment me because I never appeared to need or want them and I was very uncomfortable with them. I might have really liked it but I never gave people a chance, they never got to know me so it was a big fuck off all around or so it appeared. I started off small. I simply said thank you and it worked. After awhile I realized that in some way and on some level people need real compliments and encouragement so I began giving them. Not the casual ones so much like..you have a great ass or you hair looks pretty today, although those can be helpful at times and in the right context, being told I have a great ass is wonderful.

    I really appreciate the work you did. Thank you.
    Thank you for the extra effort, you really came through
    Great job

    Things like this do matter when they are sincerely said and deserved at work they make a difference. To the person saying them AND the person being told. That's what took me awhile to figure out.

    The garden looks great.
    Thanks for grabbing my stuff at the cleaners.
    You totally rock.my.world

    These thing are very important at home/in relationships. I would never want to hear automatic crap anywhere but at home, bring it in for the real thing or shush your mouth.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  5. #25
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Good compliments are specific.

    Example:

    "You're so hot."

    vs.

    "That dress really makes your eyes sparkle. "
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  6. #26
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    It kind of bugs me when someone ignores something I've put a lot of effort into and then compliments me on something I did without any thought.

    Actually, thinking about it my thoughtless moments seem to be the most memorable for people.
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

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  7. #27
    Senior Member iamathousandapples's Avatar
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    I like 'em how I give 'em, which is not at all. If it is given, it should be in appreciation of what I've done and not just thrown out.

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