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Thread: Thankfulness

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    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Default Thankfulness

    Some people seem to naturally lean towards gratitude, while others deeply resent having to acknowledge anyone other than themselves for the good things that come their way. It doesn't seem to correlate to how much or little people have either.

    What do you think creates people with a thankful attitude? (I don't mean grovelling, just appreciative)

    What usefulness do you think there is in being grateful (or do you see any) other than as a social lubricant? Is the benefit solely for the receiver or for the giver or both?

    Do you think that insecurity has anything to do with the lack of gratitude?

    Does gratitude have a role in your world view/set of values and if so, what?

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    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    Maybe it's a combination of experience, upbringing, personality, values?

    When I was young, I was taught to bow my head down and say thank you to everything, literally, with a "yes, please" at the end, because my mama told me that's how we show respect. I think that really stuck with me, and I can see why she would say that, but to the point of yes please? No thank u.. I think showing gratitude or a simple thanks is good enough.

    Some people grow up poor and expect people to give and give. They grow up very determined, and could care less about where they came from, and the values they learned. They see a means to an end, and really just don't really care about steppin on toes to get from A to B.

    Some people who grow up poor, learn the value and appreciate what's given to them. They may even grow up not wanting much and just being content with whatever they have. Sometimes less is more, and the less they have, the happier they are. For them- happiness/gratitude comes from within.. For others, it may come externally..

    Some people grow up rich/moderately in between, and don't appreciate what they have, while others do/did.. really depends on the individual, their environment, and personal values.. I think. Happiness is a key, and I can tell when someone's truly full of gratitude when they speak through their expressions/the way they treat others (even if they're solemn or quietly humble about it).

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    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viv View Post
    Maybe it's a combination of experience, upbringing, personality, values?

    Some people who grow up poor, learn the value and appreciate what's given to them. They may even grow up not wanting much and just being content with whatever they have. Sometimes less is more, and the less they have, the happier they are. For them- happiness/gratitude comes from within.. For others, it may come externally..
    I totally agree with you.

    Being poor, you learn so much in terms of life skills, and you do become content with that you have as you've had to work hard for those things.

    Being a giver, it is nice to hear the words 'Thank you' from time to time.
    I have learnt not to expect it though.

    My mother really pushed onto me and my brother, the whole morals and values stuff.
    You say Please and Thank you.

    I have done it with my children, but it is especially nice in this day and age esp in the UK, as so many people seem to of forgotten their manners. It is so nice to hear from someone 'Wow, what polite children you have'.
    I don't think that is a bad thing.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

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    full of love Kingfisher's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viv View Post
    Some people who grow up poor, learn the value and appreciate what's given to them. They may even grow up not wanting much and just being content with whatever they have. Sometimes less is more, and the less they have, the happier they are. For them- happiness/gratitude comes from within.. For others, it may come externally.
    i also really agree with that.

    my father also tried to beat traditional values (please, thank you, excuse me, etc) into my brother and i, but they didn't take. except for thank you, i do say thank you sometimes.

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    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    I cannot believe the simple act of saying please and thank you and general politeness is viewed as uncommon but it is. I'm not a natural pleaser. I never have been, however, discourtesy is an ugly thing to me and there is no reason for it. I was brought up to say these things of course as my own children and I hate the excuse of..that's not how I was raised, I was not taught to do this. *I* do expect it and I think that is what has to happen for it to become common again.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

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    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I have noticed the loss of this generally in our culture, but specifically am thinking in terms of influencing my brother's kids and the kids that I teach. Small children have a big resistance to saying please or thank you at first and I think it has something to do with selfishness/pride, but there are many adults that also have a hard time expressing or showing gratitude. I believe too that adults and children can say all the right words or do the right things, but unless there is a sincere attitude behind those actions, they don't mean anything. So, it's not just about teaching your kids to say certain words or about writing perfunctory thank you notes, but generally cultivating a grateful spirit. I've been thinking a lot lately about how that can be done...

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    S Saiyan God Mace's Avatar
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    Thankfulness? Only at the right times...

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