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  1. #11
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Definitely apologize to the friend if you want to keep the friendship. What you did wasn't something you can just gloss over, IMO.
    1. Did they notice?
    2. Are you overestimating what you said?
    3. Do they remember?
    4. Do they care?

    If you bring it up, you run the risk of making it a big deal. If they bring it up, apologize for being a drunk idiot.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  2. #12
    Senior Member Lurker's Avatar
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    *checks OP's type*

    Yep, makes sense.

  3. #13
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    I assume you want to renew your friendship with these people. Call, feel out the situation. Suggest meeting up soon and make a special effort to ask after the wife and invite her. If you sense resistance, apologize for having said something that hurt their feelings. You don't have to revisit the actual comment unless they bring it up. I doubt they will. People don't really enjoy conflict like that, it's easier dismissing the person from their lives (so I hear). Make amends.

    I'm not sure what the circumstances were that led you to be rude to these people but I hope it was unintentional. Next time, consider people's feelings more carefully.

  4. #14
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by metaphours View Post
    + you seem like a really shallow person
    gee thanks Fi value judgment.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  5. #15
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    1. Did they notice?
    2. Are you overestimating what you said?
    3. Do they remember?
    4. Do they care?

    If you bring it up, you run the risk of making it a big deal. If they bring it up, apologize for being a drunk idiot.
    Did they notice he called her ugly? I don't know many people who would let that one slide. Sure, if you want to feel the situation out first, by all means. I'd be pissed, though.
    Something Witty

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by King T View Post
    So some time back, went to dinner with a mate of mine and his wife, and I ended up telling him his wife was ugly while she was sitting there. After that we not spoken since that night. Its been over a year now. Do you think I should just say sorry and blame the drink? or are they being really petty and I should not bother?
    You're a dumbass.

  7. #17
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    You should apologize, but for more reasons than the obvious offense.

  8. #18
    Senior Member miked277's Avatar
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    i think a lot depends on what your friend is like. some people aren't very quick to forgive; others are.

    i once let a mildly snarky comment loose in front of my old boss' wife regarding something i didn't like about him -- she made a bee-line for her husband and i was a mini-shitstorm for a few days. of course, i needed the job and he needed my services so we made up fairly quickly. but still, in retrospect i understand that when it comes to loved ones it's damn near impossible to be impartial.

    interestingly enough, something similar happened to me (on the same job too). someone had something bad to say about my sister over the headsets which i happened to be on at the time. that set me off like few things have... all i could see was red. i felt compelled to confront this woman and let her have it, so to speak. as well, i still hold a grudge.

    so yeah, depending on how you said/meant it, what type of friendship you had, and what type of person your friend was, you may or may not be able to rekindkle your relationship.

    that said, if you actually like the guy then call and apologize. you've got nothing to lose.
    I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life.

  9. #19
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
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    How ugly was she?

    I need a better description.
    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    sheesh humans! for realz

  10. #20
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King T View Post
    So some time back, went to dinner with a mate of mine and his wife, and I ended up telling him his wife was ugly while she was sitting there. After that we not spoken since that night. Its been over a year now. Do you think I should just say sorry and blame the drink? or are they being really petty and I should not bother?
    King T - I have not read enough of your posts to see how serious you are being right now.

    But my response:

    1) No, they are not being petty.
    2) The ball is in your court

    So if you want to be friends with your mate and be cool with him and his wife, you need to make an overture. I'm surprised at Synarch's strategy of glossing it over - honestly, I can't imagine anyone being able to ignore such a comment.

    But, yeah, you can make the overture any way you like. You could apologize outright or invite them somewhere and wait until they bring it up and then roll out your apology.

    If you did apologize though - what would you say? What exactly are you sorry for? Because now no matter what your friend will know that you think his wife is ugly (and this can be made more awkward if he actually thinks she's homely too or if she is insecure about her looks).

    And I'm curious - what exactly happened and why did you say what you did? Did you not realize the wife was there? Was it said as a joke and it didn't come out funny?

    I know I have accidentally said something that I believed but did so unintentionally to or in front of certain people. When I apologized (if I did at all) it was for the manner in which I said something - because basically it was tacky - not for the fact that I really thought what I did.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

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