I think your cat may be special to you, but (forgive me for suggesting this) you are projecting human characteristics onto it. She probably doesn't care either way, so why should you? To spend so much time and money on this animal is one thing, but the stringing along with the decision is just keeping the lines connected between you and the ex. We always take a piece of our former selves when we leave as a memento, a piece of the "crime" (see "Vertigo") and that isn't always the healthiest thing. Cut the cord, mourn the loss of your ex and your cat, and move on. It's about showing yourself some tough love and allowing a new love to bloom.