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  1. #1
    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    Default the jokes thread

    Everyone try to come up with one original joke each. If you can't come up with an original joke then write the name of the comedian or whatever at the bottom. I know my threads are becoming quite annoying, but I'm bored so whatever lawl. Aight here's my joke of the day.

    "Whenever I read an autobiography of someone, I just flip to the about the author section. NEXT!"

  2. #2
    Welcome to Sunnyside Mondo's Avatar
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    A nerd was invited to an off-campus party by one of his classmates who worked on an engineering project with him.
    The nerd was excited since he hadn't been to a party which wasn't hosted by his RPG group in three years.
    The nerd took his car and drove to the nearby neighborhood. He heard loud music and smelled alcohol.
    The nerd walked in and took a look around. He wondered if he was in the right place.
    The nerd knew this was the address his friend gave him but something wasn't right.
    The nerd saw his friend who waved to him, holding a can of beer in the other hand, shouting, "HEY BRAH! WELCOME TO OUR PARTY!!"
    The nerd said, "You're mistaken. This, I deduce, is not a party."
    The friend said, "Of course, it is. Look at how everyone is having fun."
    The nerd responded, "If this is a party, answer this question for me, why do I not see video games, board games, karaoke machines, or good booze anywhere?"
    MBTI Type: iNTj
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  3. #3
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    I'm terrible at originality and telling jokes. I'll just sit here, watch and enjoy

  4. #4
    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    Default

    this thread sucks

  5. #5
    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    "The other day I walked out of my house and the weather was terrible. Dark hazy clouds, thunder, lightning... you name it. Actually it was very much like Bible weather but that's beside the point. But as I looked up at the storm that was gathering above my head I opened my mouth and shouted:
    What is this, the day after fucking tomorrow!?

  6. #6
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    Default

    Okay. here's a good one.

    All the nuns in the world are lined up at the pearly gates. Before they can enter, they must answer saint luke if they have ever touched a penis. He asks, "Sister Clarabelle, have you ever touched a penis?"
    "Why yes," she says, I once touched the tip of one with my little finger."
    "Place your finger in the holy water and you may proceede." She does this, then later he asks again, "Sister Beatrice, have you ever touched a penis."
    "I once took a whole one in my hand."
    There is suddenly a shuffling and distrbance way back in the line and Luke demans: "Sister Helen, what is the meaning of this?"
    She pants: "Can I at least have a gargle before Sister Gina sticks her ass in it?"

  7. #7
    Member nasmoe's Avatar
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    what do you call a natural blonde with a dye job
    Artificial intelligence

  8. #8
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    I will Americanize this by placing Obama in it. So that everybody will get it.


    When you read newspapers you will see Obama at the front page.
    When you are watching TV after work Obama will be all over the place.
    When you are listening to radio while you are driving to work you will hear about his deeds.
    When you get a drink with your drinking buddies they will talk about Obama.
    When you are waiting for train there will be placards with Obama around.
    But to be completly honest with you I am lately getting a little bit nervous every time I have to open a package of can food. Because of the fear of what I could find in there.



    To make it even more brutal the original was said by my president on a press conference (it was directed towards another "local" politician).


    I guess this comes in a package of having an ENTP for a president.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Willfrey's Avatar
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    Whats green and smells like pork?

    Kermit's dick.


    I know it isn't origional but it is funny. Can't we just have a good joke-telling thread?
    ...Then I ducked my head and the lights went out, and two guns blazed in the dark;
    And a woman screamed, and the lights went up, and two men lay stiff and stark...

  10. #10
    Senior Member iamathousandapples's Avatar
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    Knock Knock
    Who's There?
    Gestapo.

    Knock Knock
    Knock Knock
    Knock Knock
    Knock Knock
    Knock Knock
    Knock Knock
    Knock Knock
    Shit, no ones home, guess I'll try again later...

    Knock Knock
    Come in.

    Two elephants are sitting in the bathtub. One elephant says to the other, "Please pass the soap". The elephant replies to the other elephant, "What do I look like, a radio?"

    How do you stop a clown from smiling?
    Hit it with an axe.

    What is Snoop Dogg's Favorite weather?
    Partly Cloudy.

    What do you call a black man at a convenience store?
    A customer.

    Why is a duck?
    Because behind a tree

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