You are hurting my feelings. The guys even tried to push me into the mass of girls wanting to make me go dance with them and grab their asses so I get one. And I just replied, I am gonna grab no ass, if I haven shared at least a word with her.
I really didnt like that attitude, the only problem tho was, the girls only knew that attitude, therefore it could seem they were waiting only for it and nothing else :/. Thats what you think when you are 16
But you are much older now and know that the real problem is that only low-class girls want that sort of thing --not the sort of girl you want. You're above all that game-play now yeah?
"There is no god; there is only us. Savage and fragile."
This whole onus on the woman for doing things is taking the responsibility away from the men, who are what? powerless to control themselves?
I agree that stance is bull and like you say takes the responsibility of the person invading your personal space. Doesn't change the reality that some people are unwilling to take responsibility for their own actions and believe the lame ass argument that a woman dressing or acting a certain way is asking for it. Get's me mad too however you have to understand people like that exist and prepare for the lowest possible denominator in environments like that then either accept it or find a way to cut them down before they have a chance by changing your approach, having people around that intimidate them or going places where that isn't acceptable behaviour.
You can't force dickheads to change, you have no control over that and no matter how wrong their behaviour is the only thing you can control is yourself.
Berb, you are completely justified to be mad and indignant at the unwanted physical attention. It is never okay to put your hands on a stranger's (for that matter, anyone's) body without asking. That is unacceptable. You should be able to dance however you like and wherever you like without worrying about men/women not being able to control themselves. I am very sorry you were violated - that is never okay.
Having said that, I think posters here are warning you of the practical implications of living in a world where we are a product of social cues.
For women, we are told across societies that we have to control ourselves and provide less provocation/temptation for men who are, apparently, incapable of controlling themselves. Isn't that the justification for the veil? We have to change our behavior because men have low control over their impulses. Eventually both sides believe this is true and we act accordingly -- we alter our behavior so as to not invite unwanted attention and some men think it is alright to follow impulses regardless of whose body/space they are violating. This is very poor logic but it has been perpetuated for a very long time to become accepted as norms for behavior in a club setting.
So, please do be careful as you live in a society that is already built around these strange norms. I'm glad you had friends with you to help. The reality is men are always physically bigger and it's hard to even throw somebody off even if you tried. Learn some good self defense moves and like Jeno said, surround yourself with good friends, male or female who can act as bouncers. Also, be aware of people moving into your space. When they do that with me, I quickly move to another part and closer to friends to ensure the message is clear. I love to dance as well and this is always an issue for me too when I'm out. I hate it and it makes me more inhibited which is exactly what I want to lose when I go out dancing.