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  1. #41
    Sniffles
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Sure, coz other types of women never get harassed by jerks
    You should be very proud of yourselves.

  2. #42
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Men grab me all the time, and I don't like it. I've made it a point lately to dress somewhat plainly and in dark colors, because I think people think that my personality is screaming "f**k me", which is far from the truth.

    Some women are teases. But no one has a right to put their hands on anyone for any reason, though. Some men are assholes.

    It's worse on the dance floor. But I usually have a wall of big, scary looking male brothers and cousins around me so I rarely give it another thought. And if not, I find a swift knee to the nuts works wonders.

  3. #43
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Dunno about Berbs, Protean, but I have no problem with being misinterpreted. People can think what they want, and if they consider my manner of behaving sexual in nature, then that's fine. But aren't there social rules to follow as well when it comes to approaching someone sexually? Rules that I think even Fi and Fe both agree on? Fi from our: its my body and my space so back off-point of view and Fe from a 'proper ettiquette' point of view?

    When courting someone who is in fact giving you signals, or so you think...is it appropriate to just grope?
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  4. #44
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    AO - if you see something you like, do you think that you should be allowed to just take it? If not, are you to assume that others don't feel that way, which makes them justified in taking it?

    If you show respect for people's objects, you can surely show respect for their bodies.

  5. #45

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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Rules that I think even Fi and Fe both agree on? Fi from our: its my body and my space so back off-point of view and Fe from a 'proper ettiquette' point of view?
    I don't know if that has shite to do with "Fe etiquette." I'm a Fe user and I strongly agree my body = my space, so back the f*ck off. If etiquette is in line with this feeling, great.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  6. #46
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I think this requires understanding cause and effect.

    If someone is sending off very sexual vibes what are you communicating to others and what are they interpreting your communication as? Are you communicating yourself the way you want to? Why are people misinterpreting? How often are you misinterpreted? Why are people reacting to you in a way you don't want them to react on a consistent basis?
    No, it's not a consistent basis, I was greatly shocked by this weekend, I'm used to being hit on in a more respectful paced way.

    It can't be blamed on my flirtatious side, that side doesn't come out until verbal contact has been established, which hadn't when these various guys kept trying to get physical.

    I know it was most likely what I was wearing, it's not like I don't know that some people think the way a woman dresses is the cause of all effect, there are entire cultures/religions who are based on this ridiculous notion.

    I would dare to venture here, based on my observations that night, that the only men not physically accosting women in the club were white british men, raised in households where the onus isn't actually on a woman, at least not so much as it used to be.

    Raise a toast to optimistic progress, hopefully the cause can actually be placed exactly where it belongs, on the person who can't control themselves.

    A diamond looks pretty, a thief will steal it, but it would be stupid to blame to diamond.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  7. #47
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Perhaps you could try by giving angry stares at whoever comes in your proximity. I fear that having guys in close proximity and not being touched is quite difficult to achieve, so you might just try to get rid of the first part of the causal chain.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  8. #48
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Dunno about Berbs, Protean, but I have no problem with being misinterpreted. People can think what they want, and if they consider my manner of behaving sexual in nature, then that's fine. But aren't there social rules to follow as well when it comes to approaching someone sexually? Rules that I think even Fi and Fe both agree on? Fi from our: its my body and my space so back off-point of view and Fe from a 'proper ettiquette' point of view?

    When courting someone who is in fact giving you signals, or so you think...is it appropriate to just grope?
    I most certainly think it's not OK to grope and harass and I've been a victim of both. I guess since I'm aware of how things may come across when I choose to communicate sexually I know exactly what I'm doing and what I want and expect my responses to be. Maybe this is me, but when I go into a club while I don't think groping is OK, I know it's part of the club atmosphere and likely to happen. That doesn't mean I don't kick a mofo in the nuts and gouge out his eyes, but I know what happens.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  9. #49
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    I can see it, but it triggers me to anger because I feel that in respecting the logic I am going against my belief that I should not have to modify my behaviour for anyone.

    Can you use your logic to understand the emotional reaction this could cause in someone of my type? To be forced by societies standards to modify my behaviour?

    I am not sure I can really grasp this but I can presume why this is a problem for you.

    I am sorry but this don't not have much to do with your belief.
    This is a matter of fact. If you ask me you can do on a dance floor whatever you like. But it is silly to expect that you will not be "noticed" if you do this.
    (at least in some cases)

  10. #50
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    ^Can't argue with that
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

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