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  1. #1
    Senior Member Nillerz's Avatar
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    Default Your plans for the Zombie Holocaust.

    What do you do when the dead rise?

  2. #2
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Call Ghostbusters.

  3. #3
    DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
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    I recently developed a strategy to thwart a zombie overruneth-cupeth with an ENFJ tactician friend of mine...

    The plan is to use genetically modified sunflower plants that will serve as natural consumers of the zombies. They will be modified to be like venus fly traps and consume all zombies, as well as to lull them into oblivion by singing some catchy tunes. You see, flowers dont have brains, or any other squishy organ of any redeeming zombie value, so they will be ignored by the zombies. But the flowers will pluck them off. So as long as you have enough flowers, you'll be safe....

    It's all right here in this intel video:

    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0N1_0SUGlDQ"]Chomp Chomp Chomp[/YOUTUBE]

  4. #4
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Man, there's nowhere near enough room to detail my plans for what I'll do when that finally happens. Even in bullet-points it would take hours. A few pointers though?

    1. Need to move fast (while zombie numbers are minimal) but not too fast. It's a fine line. If you move too slow you'll never make it out of town. If you move to fast, you could get jailed for looting by the cops and the inside of a cell is the last place you want to be when the zombies come. Mobility is one of your primary advantages over zombies.

    2. Arm yourself. May be a very tricky step if you live in a country like Australia where guns are hard to access. Shotguns your best bet for this stage of the program. Crossbows further down the track (way further if nobody is initially confident shooting one) -> silent and bolts can be reused.

    3. Gather people. Loved ones first, if you live close enough. Ideally you'd find a doctor, mechanic and electrician as well, but the chances of finding them randomly aren't great, and doctors are going to be busy getting chomped by the newly-turned in hospitals. You could try kidnapping one if you live in a smallish town, but it'll probably be more trouble than it's worth with the need to subdue them and then guard them constantly against escape. You won't want any distractions with zombies on the loose. You'll get opportunities to collect children and flaky pretty ladies, and it's your call really but they will inevitably critically compromise your safety as a group through random stupidity about 60 mins into the movie. Casualties will ensue.

    4. Gather supplies, preferably while gathering people. Weapons, ammunition, medical, nonperishable foodstuffs, batteries, radio, some camping supplies (eg water filter/purifier, fishing gear) etc. Don't get greedy, you can always find more later. As long as you have access to potable water you can survive a surprisingly long time without food. If you live in a biggish city you might want to skip this step altogether. Raiding supplies from small, isolated rural towns would probably be a better bet for you, assuming they aren't being guarded by paranoid, trigger-happy locals.

    5. Get the funk out of town, especially if you live in a big city. How you do this depends on where you live. By boat is ideal. Zombies can't swim.

    6. Hole up somewhere. In choosing location, balance defensibility against escapability. A lighthouse eg is very defensible but not very escapable. Fine for a few weeks, but after that you're screwed.

    Good candidates: small islands (best long-term prospect), prison complexes (defensible but could be a lot of surviving crims or a lot of dead bodies to deal with)

    Average candidate: relatively empty cruise ships (if you can find em, they've probably put out to sea in panic, but too late to maintain effective quarantine), large cargo ship probably a safer bet. Not as loaded with goodies, but less likely to be loaded with zombies, and easier to clear out.

    Overrated candidate: shopping malls

    Ability to communicate with outside world highly desirable. Don't know much about that. Short-wave radio transmitter or some such. Will need as many people as possible for stage 7. Monitor radio at all times.

    7. Rebuild. You can probably make a start on this relatively early if you made it to an island. Extent of rebuilding dependent on whether it was a containable zombie outbreak or an apocalyptic one. Plan initially for short- to medium-term sustainability.

  5. #5

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    I'm charming my way into the well-supplied fortress of the nearest xNTP who's already planned the hell out of this scenario.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  6. #6
    That chalkboard guy Matthew_Z's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    I'm charming my way into the well-supplied fortress of the nearest xNTP who's already planned the hell out of this scenario.
    Would you believe me if I said I didn't plan on needing to support someone else in this scenario?
    If a deaf INFP falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Matthew_Z View Post
    Would you believe me if I said I didn't plan on needing to support someone else in this scenario?
    Would you believe me if I said that as far as I'm concerned the number of xNTPs equals my number of back-up plans?

    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  8. #8
    That chalkboard guy Matthew_Z's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    Man, there's nowhere near enough room to detail my plans for what I'll do when that finally happens. Even in bullet-points it would take hours.
    While your plan does work for a zombie containment, I don't feel it is adequate for a zombie apocalypse scenario. You've completely forgotten the zombie's perspective in this. What if they want you dead/converted/whatever? Even if you can get to an island or a boat, you'll need to plan for stealth. After the zombie's take over the world, there's a chance they may try to stomp out all pockets of resistance. While they may not be intelligent, they will eventually acquire a means to reach you. You need a plan to avoid detection for the rest of your life. Once you've reached your last stronghold, the priority is on the zombies not searching for/finding you rather than being able to defend said stronghold in the event of attack. Due to the massive holocaust that should initially ensue during the first wave of the invasion, the chances of the zombie's keeping track of who they killed is unlikely. You should be able to slip through the cracks. As far as the zombies know, you don't exist. Once they know you exist, you're screwed. Your hiding place should look like the rest of the planet: completely free of non-zombie lifeforms. If you've been successful in forming a colony of survivors, you'll either need to defeat the zombies or make them think your colony doesn't exist. You should be prepared to take either option.

    Apologies for my wall of text.
    If a deaf INFP falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

  9. #9
    That chalkboard guy Matthew_Z's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    Would you believe me if I said that as far as I'm concerned the number of xNTPs equals my number of back-up plans?

    If you're going to predominately be a leech, it's best you be prepared to offer a service to whatever band of survivors you've been lucky enough to join. Survivor society is likely to be harsh. If you're not worth the expense, you're zombie food.
    If a deaf INFP falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Matthew_Z View Post
    If you're going to predominately be a leech, it's best you be prepared to offer a service to whatever band of survivors you've been lucky enough to join. Survivor society is likely to be harsh. If you're not worth the expense, you're zombie food.
    Noted.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

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