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Thread: Loneliness

  1. #41
    Iron Maiden Array fidelia's Avatar
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    May 2009
    1w2 so/sx


    Yeah, I always thought that I really liked being alone (I'd get scratchy at people if I didn't get some time every day) and then I lived completely alone in a house and discovered that I like to have the option of being alone, but that it's really nice to have a 10 minute exchange with someone whenever you like. Now I live in a four plex that shares the same hallway and laundry room, amid a little village of other teachers. You can have space, but there are people nearby to visit nearly anytime.

    I often feel lonely in groups of people though, especially at parties. I just don't have anything to say to a large crowd and by the time I've thought of how I could join in the conversation, they've moved on. Some people really don't like the one on one or small group conversation in that setting, which limits how much I feel good about being around there. Yet, the less I go to those functions, the less people think to invite me, and then....I feel lonely!

  2. #42
    Senior Member Array Synapse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007


    I'm a lone wolf, suppose its definitely tied in with family dynamic, until I went out of my way to be included in a group and ISFP friends I have, love em to bits. As sociable beings by nature, irrespective of the gulf between introversion and extroversion every person responds and needs people in their lives to bounce off some of the time.

    There is a class I went to recently and the first thought that crossed my mind when I assessed the 18 or so attendees, how many would I want to know outside of class. And as the weeks progressed, the answer stayed the same, 4. While I learned I liked to speak to everyone to gain their acknowledgment. I could tell who I'd get along with the most and sure enough, the teacher likes doing personality profiles and to my amusement all but 1 were intuitives. Takes a lot for me to crawl out of my shell. While most people feel comfortable I'm still wearing a thick black woolen jumper which indicates my level of comfort, its still low.

  3. #43
    No moss growing on me Array Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    2 sx/so


    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Could you talk more about that, if you want? (I do not want to pry.)

    I can imagine that ISFJs could get lonely too, because of their drive towards duty and task-accomplishing and responsibilities... and shouldering a lot of the load for others without asking for much themselves... but they often don't come across that way because they can get task-focused and sort of avoid showing the sadness/longing for others.
    Yes, you're right. As long as there's something to be done, it feels like it's my responsiblity to get it done so yeah sometimes it can get really lonely. I also don't want to bother people with my silly emotions and desires. I know that everyone has things to do and problems of their own so why add to it is what I'm thinking but eventually that gets to be too much to bear and the isfj will fall apart, I think. I think we'd do better to learn how to express ourselves and ask for things more.

    Quote Originally Posted by luminous beam View Post
    Hmm, I think people would feel lonely overall, regardless of their type. However, F types for example, may not cope as well as T types since most Fs are sociable beings who get energy from interpersonal interactions. Also, Extroverts would also benefit more from human interaction than Introverts...Is would cope better alone than Es would.
    I agree 100% but I also think that Es are better prepared to deal with bouts of loneliness by knowing lots of people than Is are.

  4. #44
    Senior Member Array sonata's Avatar
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    Dec 2008


    INTJ, lonely, ever? Nah.

  5. #45
    .~ *aĉa virino* ~. Array Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    549 sx/sp
    LII Ni


    Quote Originally Posted by Matthew_Z View Post
    1. It's okay, I've observed your posts and you seem like you're great and sociable when you're in the mood for it.
    Yeah. Last night I tried to go out with two friends and just... meh, the whole night, and I felt like a downer for them. But I was exhausted.

    The same friends, two weeks ago, I got a little crazy...

    2. With so many forums out there, who can feel lonely?
    Pick your poison.
    lol, I'm already a participant on four forums regularly, that's why I'm tired. I think I just have to focus on some projects again, and getting alone/focus time; I am not cut out for extroversion.

    Is that a fellow Trekker I hear?
    Reformed, hon, reformed.... supposedly.
    (hooray for Abrams)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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