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Thread: Loneliness

  1. #31
    Widdles in your cream.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Hmm, I don't feel lonely at all though.
    Perhaps your circumstances are different? I was rarely lonely while I was at college, despite having no friends there; people would say hello and that would be enough for me. Now I've finished college I'm at home all the time.
    Um, yeah.

  2. #32
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eiddy View Post

    All I could wish for in friend at most, is at least make an effort to call and come around like I do, once in awhile.

    Everyone is too busy to even bother with these two essentials, maybe I have my standards set too high??
    Eiddy - I'm not saying I have all those things mastered consistently, but over time, I've absorbed them into my ideal of what I would like to be. Did you realize that some people don't call or come around because they are afraid they are going to bother you? I often think about doing it, and then don't because I am not sure enough and I would feel embarrassed. Again, it's self-centred, and I'm working to fix that! Let your people know when they can get you and encourage them to do it. I'm learning that sometimes you've got to ask for the things you need, because people will not figure it out on their own, even if it seems obvious.

  3. #33
    That chalkboard guy Matthew_Z's Avatar
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    An IT feeling lonely? Nonsense.
    If a deaf INFP falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

  4. #34
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    What do you feel? (Wait a minute, I guess that's classified information...) You people would make great spies. They could torture you forever and you'd never tell.

  5. #35
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    Wow kinda wishing I was Istj now.

    Fidela, that is an excellent point. I usually keep calling and coming around, then I quit and wait for role reversal. Now in real life, asking someone to call or return some interest seems kind of impish/not classy/odd I don't know. Guess that is why nothing changes if nothing changes..

    Well I am up for ping pong type of friendship and I can talk about almost anything. Lint, opinions, shoestrings basically anything tangible.. Eek that came off kind of scary.
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  6. #36
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I'm the same way with asking questions. Usually I know all about the lives of the people around me and they know very little about me, but not because I'm not willing to talk about it. They just don't think to ask. I think it must have something to do with the way I converse back and forth. If I want them to know more, I just have to forge ahead and have them listen, but I really wish they'd want to know rather than just being polite. Perhaps they assume that whatever I'm showing is either all I want to or all that's there.

  7. #37
    That chalkboard guy Matthew_Z's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    What do you feel? (Wait a minute, I guess that's classified information...) You people would make great spies. They could torture you forever and you'd never tell.
    Or, to be more practical, it's a great skill if you're a Network Security Administrator.
    If a deaf INFP falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

  8. #38
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matthew_Z View Post
    An IT feeling lonely? Nonsense.
    I feel a lot of loneliness sometimes, but I also enjoy being alone. I like to engage people; yet, people really exhaust me if I'm around them too much. I do good if I just know there are people out there who think I'm great and who I could and CAN be with if I wanted to be.

    ... I just figure it comes from not really feeling like anyone in my family understood me, so "being alone" (which doesn't necessarily mean you're lonely) became tied to my experience of "loneliness" because I did not have anyone I connected with for years and years.

    ... wait, sorry -- the right response was, "I do not understand loneliness, Captain Picard... but I would like to, would you explain it to me?"
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

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  9. #39
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eiddy View Post
    Wow Fidela,

    You sound like a fabulous friend. All I could wish for in friend at most, is at least make an effort to call and come around like I do, once in awhile.

    Everyone is too busy to even bother with these two essentials, maybe I have my standards set to high??
    Maybe you just need it more than they do. Giving to get. It's a fact of life and one that seems fairly prevalent among SFJs, but I don't think anyone is completely immune to it.

    I like to be part of a social network - it makes me feel more secure...I like the idea of family or a group of close friends acting as a family. I like to have people around, but at the same time do my own thing.

  10. #40
    That chalkboard guy Matthew_Z's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I feel a lot of loneliness sometimes, but I also enjoy being alone. I like to engage people; yet, people really exhaust me if I'm around them too much. I do good if I just know there are people out there who think I'm great and who I could and CAN be with if I wanted to be.

    ... I just figure it comes from not really feeling like anyone in my family understood me, so "being alone" (which doesn't necessarily mean you're lonely) became tied to my experience of "loneliness" because I did not have anyone I connected with for years and years.
    It has to be the P... it just has to. An INTJ would never have such feelings...

    There are two possible responses:
    1. It's okay, I've observed your posts and you seem like you're great and sociable when you're in the mood for it.
    2. With so many forums out there, who can feel lonely?

    Pick your poison.
    ... wait, sorry -- the right response was, "I do not understand loneliness, Captain Picard... but I would like to, would you explain it to me?"
    Is that a fellow Trekker I hear?
    If a deaf INFP falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

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