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Thread: Sensitive work problem that needs some advise...

  1. #11
    No moss growing on me Array Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    2 sx/so


    Would it really be that bad if he came?

    I'd probably invite him.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Array Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008


    Well, he doesn't usually come, so I never thought it would be an issue. None of the managers have come along in more than a year, they kind of dropped out of the loop. He just heard about it, assumed the Office Manager had set it up and invited himself and reminded her to invite another ex employee that I dont know well.

    It would be a similar kind of thing where I happened to see/hear/find out that the managers were having a lunch with an old employee and saying "Ohhh that sounds like so much fun! I can't wait to go! Make sure you invite so-and-so!"

    Inviting yourself to functions is a no-no even to the socially inept INTJ.

    Also... he KNOWS that one of the ex-employees doesn't want to see him. They were good friends when they both worked here, had a huge falling out when the one left, and the manager here has been making 'overtures' toward the ex-employee since then. I'm sure he saw this as an opportunity to 'trap' the ex-employee into talking to him... which I don't appreciate. I didn't invite my friends to lunch so they could be manipulated and ambushed. Uncomfortable is not the preferred word of the day. No one would have fun.

    Embrace the possibilities.

  3. #13
    .~ *aĉa virino* ~. Array Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    549 sx/sp
    LII Ni


    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Also use personal email addresses to schedule this and not job emails because it gives the get together a casual, unofficial air. I also find that BCC and Reply All can be useful if used smartly because people can see who's invited and decide if they want to come or not and track the progress of the emails so there's less centralized organization, more laissez-faire and therefore not one person to blame.
    Great points to bring up, PM.

    Yes, the address lines in e-mail are great at providing unspoken social cues to people about what the expectations might be.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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