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  1. #81
    Senior Thread Terminator Aerithria's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    1. Flake out on parties because they can't be bothered to be extroverted, then want you to suddenly convert to Introversion when you're hanging out with them.
    2. When I will not accept that the E doesn't want to be introverted at their whim.
    Define 'convert to introversion'. Is this simply about filling out a form? Or is this a "We'll require your signature in blood" sort of deal? I won't have to sell my soul to a nefarious hell god, will I?

    3. When the I's complained themselves into getting their way and you're forced to pretend that it doesn't bother you that this has happened for the third time
    Don't really get this one. Guess I've never run into it.

    4. When the I never picks up that you might need their company.
    They can't expect us to read their minds, but we should expect them to read ours?

    5. When you go out together and the I pays more attention to their drink/tv than you.
    I'll give you this. This drives me nuts. If you wanted my company, why are you wasting it on your drink? Gah.

    6. When I's get upset just because we try to confirm they're okay by asking a simple question instead of trying to guess what's going on in their head.
    Depends on the maturity of the introvert.

    7. When I gets annoyed by a phone call even though the E might feel more comfortable saying something over the phone
    In either case, it's about not recognizing each other's comfort zones. Introverts may prefer e-mail, but extroverts may prefer phone, and each getting annoyed at the other for not using their preferred method is equally hypocritical either way.

    8. They play the victim everytime an E messes up something they tried to plan via telepathy.
    Again, never really encountered this. No comment, I guess.

    9. When I doesn't talk during one-on-one time and expects us to be some jukebox on demand.
    10. When I doesn't realize that socializing means two people interact with each other, and quiet time is better left to alone time.
    11. When I refuses to keep up a conversation.
    12. When you just decide to continue to talk, the I gets upset that they didn't have time to put their two cents in.
    I guess it depends on how well you know said introvert. If they're still uncomfortable keeping up their end of the conversation after knowing them for a while, then what's the point of hanging out?
    [insert funny quote/saying/etc.]

  2. #82
    Senior Member Lightyear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post

    1. Flake out on parties because they can't be bothered to be extroverted, then want you to suddenly convert to Introversion when you're hanging out with them.
    2. When I will not accept that the E doesn't want to be introverted at their whim.
    3. When the I's complained themselves into getting their way and you're forced to pretend that it doesn't bother you that this has happened for the third time
    4. When the I never picks up that you might need their company.
    5. When you go out together and the I pays more attention to their drink/tv than you.
    6. When I's get upset just because we try to confirm they're okay by asking a simple question instead of trying to guess what's going on in their head.
    7. When I gets annoyed by a phone call even though the E might feel more comfortable saying something over the phone
    8. They play the victim everytime an E messes up something they tried to plan via telepathy.
    9. When I doesn't talk during one-on-one time and expects us to be some jukebox on demand.
    10. When I doesn't realize that socializing means two people interact with each other, and quiet time is better left to alone time.
    11. When I refuses to keep up a conversation.
    12. When you just decide to continue to talk, the I gets upset that they didn't have time to put their two cents in.
    For me it's actually just 11 and 12 since I really like people and when I decide to spend one on one time with you there is probably a very good reason for that and I really want to talk to you and hear what you have to say. 11 depends on the conversation, if you want me to small-talk about the weather the conversation will die in about 30 seconds, small talk just drains me to no end and makes me want to scream however if the topic of conversation is interesting... And concerning 12, I really don't mind listening and asking questions at all but once I realise that certain friends don't listen to what I have to say at all and just constantly throw their issues at me (and even if I get in my 2 cents they immediately change the subject back to their own problems again) that is kind of depressing and not a sign of a healthy friendship.

  3. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    There are always people I really like the idea of becoming friends with, but somehow I doubt anything will come of it, so I tend to be more comfortable observing. I generally like people, but don't entirely understand the whole socializing thing. It is something of a mystery to me, actually.
    Absolutely. Positively. Spot-on. No doubt about it.

  4. #84
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    I'm guilty of stuff from this list and the extroverts list.

    I don't think alot of the stuff in this list or that list can be assigned to the E/I divide.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

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  5. #85
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Ahhh, that would piss me off too. I don't like when someone tells me they know what I am thinking or feeling.
    Yes, I find I get this with Ni types more than anyone else though. It ranks right up there with putting words into my mouth, on the scale of things that make me feel super violated and angry.

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    When I ask a question, he assumes that I am taking a stance (if I ask if he wants chinese food, for example, he assumes this means that I want chinese food. but if I wanted it, I would say it, not ask a question...)

    I'm sure you are being pretty damn direct, but in general, most people aren't as clear as they think they are.
    +1

    Yes, I also get sick of people saying they're not guilty of things or that they always do things, that in fact, no external evidence seems to back up! They might genuinely see themselves as this or that type of person, and see their behaviour that way, but I think they're often too far inside their own heads to really be able to know how they come across to others. They can very often seem to think that if they've thought something in their head, that makes it reality.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

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  6. #86
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    1. Flake out on parties because they can't be bothered to be extroverted, then want you to suddenly convert to Introversion when you're hanging out with them.
    2. When I will not accept that the E doesn't want to be introverted at their whim.
    3. When the I's complained themselves into getting their way and you're forced to pretend that it doesn't bother you that this has happened for the third time
    4. When the I never picks up that you might need their company.
    5. When you go out together and the I pays more attention to their drink/tv than you.
    6. When I's get upset just because we try to confirm they're okay by asking a simple question instead of trying to guess what's going on in their head.
    7. When I gets annoyed by a phone call even though the E might feel more comfortable saying something over the phone
    8. They play the victim everytime an E messes up something they tried to plan via telepathy.
    9. When I doesn't talk during one-on-one time and expects us to be some jukebox on demand.
    10. When I doesn't realize that socializing means two people interact with each other, and quiet time is better left to alone time.
    11. When I refuses to keep up a conversation.
    12. When you just decide to continue to talk, the I gets upset that they didn't have time to put their two cents in.

    Bolded is things I occasionally or often do. But the rest doesn't apply to me.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  7. #87
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lowtech redneck View Post
    Not everyone is good at multi-tasking, enspecially when engaged in solitary activities that require concentration. Calling us forces us to put aside everything else, come out of the "zone," and pay virtually undivided attention to a your voice over the phone. If you actually have something to say other than small talk, that isn't so bad, but its extremely irritating when an extrovert calls just because they are bored when by themselves and wishes for you to entertain them with small talk.
    Of course that is valid. I don't answer the phone when I am in the zone either. But that's not what I mean, I mean sometimes people hide from social interactions but expect the social life to be there when they come back around. And I never understood the concept of small talk. All talk means something. I don't need to ask you directly about what things you like if we chat about how we spend our weekends. It's how I get to know you, and know your thought process. The words you use, the topical matters that affect your life, what books interest you and why. This is how I bond. This is how I reach out to you and let you know that I still keep you in mind and that you matter to me. I want to know how you spend your days, what things you view as important. I don't need to dive to the depths of your soul in order to have a conversation with you.

    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    but. what if i've been harangued by the kids alllll day and i know this is my only 30 mins to do type c in peace, and the phone rings and i suspect it's you and i know you and i will have a great, but LONG, conversation, and i will therefore not be able to do type c for the rest of the day? yes, sometimes i will sacrifice my time and talk on the phone, but i just can't always do that or i will get totally cranky, ya know? not enough 'me time' or whatever. i require a lot of that i guess.

    ...


    that's awesome insight! omg. thank you so much. i have gotten the feeling from my enfj neighbor/friend that i do this to her. she's mentioned before how my way of conversing 'wears her out.' hahahhahaha. i thought because she and i were very similar and because we were both intuitives that it was all good; that she'd like to philosophize with me on the way to the grocery store or whatever i didn't really f/u with her about that, but putting that together with what you said makes sense.

    i know "how are you?" is a stupid, vague question but Fe demands it (cuz our society demands it), as an ice breaker if nothing else.........


    really? you'd really rather chit chat and have small talk than talk about feelings? i had no idea. i'm flabbergasted. speechless.

    you're not talking in a group are you? cuz i agree with you about being in a group, you don't wanna be philosophizing or be too deep cuz it can get uncomfortable for the majority of the group that don't want to talk that intently during a fun time or gathering. but one-on-one? you mean you just wanna chit chat, have light-hearted banter or laughing, and talk about the book you're reading? (again, my enfj neighbor is always bringing up the book Q: you reading any good books? probably to head me off before i can pick her apart. , aphrodite!!

    wow. so i don't know if i can hang out and be happy with e's one-on-one then. i get tired 'talking about nothing' (hehe), and you don't like me picking you apart. :sad:

    Hahahaha, see response above.

    In addition, asking me about feelings is draining because I have to tap into them and they are not on the surface. It would be the equivalent of asking a poor math student to do advanced calculus at a social gathering. It is an effort for me. It's actually easier to speak about feelings in a group setting because it doesn't feel so intense. But one on one situations are draining and probing.

  8. #88
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    I'm very good at multi-tasking.

    I can play four characters simultaniously in a WoW boss-fight while talking business on the phone. Oo

    It comes quite naturally to me. I've also been capable of continueing my thought train during conversations without the other conversationalists taking notice of that. When I need to speak up or use Fe to a certain extent, I just pause the thought train. And get on with it right after.

    When I'm brainstorming, I usually have multiple thoughttrains going on simultaniously. In a sort of global manner.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  9. #89
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Anth brought up the most important aspect here. Many I try to avoid pressing their needs on other people, they hate to be invasive. So they may think they are doing you a kindness when you'd really rather have a different response.
    Yes, I wouldn't want to burden someone by always telling them about how this and that annoyed me. I think that my problems are mine, not theirs. However, I will say something if the issue is very pressing or a repeated habit.

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    This is going to sound horrible no matter how I say it, so I'll just say it. In my experience, Is (esp IxFx) can have these talks and promise to change and then it's all forgotten about. There isn't much resolve, for the most part.
    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    SO TRUE. Especially INFJs. It's almost like the conversation did not happen at all. They are also the worst at apologizing.
    Really? Can you two give me an example of what sort of conversations you are having? What sort of behavior is being discussed?

    I must say, I can't relate at all to what you two are saying here, and I've actually mentioned my irritation with this same behavior in ENxP. If anything, I'm always changing my presentation to fit the person I'm talking to, like a chameleon. I have so many sides, that I simply go with whichever the person is most comfortable with. With that said, there are some facets of myself I can not change because they are so much a part of me or are so unconscious that they present themselves before I am aware of it. But then I would never promise to change these parts of myself in the first place, knowing that I could not or would not.

  10. #90
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Really? Can you two give me an example of what sort of conversations you are having? What sort of behavior is being discussed?

    I must say, I can't relate at all to what you two are saying here, and I've actually mentioned my irritation with this same behavior in ENxP. If anything, I'm always changing my presentation to fit the person I'm talking to, like a chameleon. I have so many sides, that I simply go with whichever the person is most comfortable with. With that said, there are some facets of myself I can not change because they are so much a part of me or are so unconscious that they present themselves before I am aware of it. But then I would never promise to change these parts of myself in the first place, knowing that I could not or would not.
    This is just a common thing ENxPs and INxJs perceive in one another, there's not much point in discussing it. Ne and Ni see the same things differently enough that we don't always understand exactly what the other is trying to discuss with us when we think we do. Both of us make too many assumptions that come from totally different places than the other one is operating from. Male ENxPs seem to be worse about it, though that could just be my experience.

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