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  1. #51
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    People are the way they are and I can either nag them to death, or accept them for who they are and then rant about them on anonymous sites.

    Seriously, I wouldn't be friends with someone I didn't care about, so these little things don't matter that much at the end of the day...
    +1. I talk so much smack about ENxPs on this forum, but they have all my love.

  2. #52
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    I briefly want to make an extroverted statement:



    Ok, do go on
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  3. #53
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Yeah, but as much as I don't want to be changed, I really don't want to change anyone else either. People are the way they are and I can either nag them to death, or accept them for who they are and then rant about them on anonymous sites.

    Seriously, I wouldn't be friends with someone I didn't care about, so these little things don't matter that much at the end of the day...
    I don't mean nag them, just disucss. My point is maybe they don't realize how things appear to you. Anth brought up the most important aspect here. Many I try to avoid pressing their needs on other people, they hate to be invasive. So they may think they are doing you a kindness when you'd really rather have a different response.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    +1. I talk so much smack about ENxPs on this forum, but they have all my love.

    Without smack talk the board would be so dead.

  4. #54
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I don't mean nag them, just disucss. My point is maybe they don't realize how things appear to you. Anth brought up the most important aspect here. Many I try to avoid pressing their needs on other people, they hate to be invasive. So they may think they are doing you a kindness when you'd really rather have a different response.
    This is going to sound horrible no matter how I say it, so I'll just say it. In my experience, Is (esp IxFx) can have these talks and promise to change and then it's all forgotten about. There isn't much resolve, for the most part. (and I just read about that in Evan's thread about dating another INFJ...) It gets exhausting, so I let it go. But yes, I always do speak up about things that bother me, but I stop if I'm not being heard. And sometimes it's just easier for me to let someone sit there and sulk if they want to - I can't be responsible for anyone's emotions if they don't share them with me.

    I know I'm not perfect, and if someone tells me something negative, I really do take it to heart, and if I feel it's valid, I will change my behaviors. Not everyone is able to step out of their comfort zones like that.

  5. #55
    The Architect Alwar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    I briefly want to make an extroverted statement:



    Ok, do go on
    Girls don't fart hypothesis disproven once and for all. Bigfoot remains illusive.

  6. #56
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    hahahahaha
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  7. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    This is going to sound horrible no matter how I say it, so I'll just say it. In my experience, Is (esp IxFx) can have these talks and promise to change and then it's all forgotten about. There isn't much resolve, for the most part. (and I just read about that in Evan's thread about dating another INFJ...) It gets exhausting, so I let it go. But yes, I always do speak up about things that bother me, but I stop if I'm not being heard. And sometimes it's just easier for me to let someone sit there and sulk if they want to - I can't be responsible for anyone's emotions if they don't share them with me.

    I know I'm not perfect, and if someone tells me something negative, I really do take it to heart, and if I feel it's valid, I will change my behaviors. Not everyone is able to step out of their comfort zones like that.
    This is very frustrating for me to hear because my experience with female E relatives is that no matter how frankly I state what I am thinking or feeling they complain that I've been vague or they can't understand or they "don't remember that incident" (that's the worst just the worst) or that they *know* I am hiding something and that they really know what's going on with me.

    I feel like I am just speaking into the wind when I try and communicate with them. *sigh*

    On the subject of boundary violations, one of them finally told me: "We do what we want, when we want, why can't you just accept that?"

    That's when I gave it all up as hopeless and limited my contact with them.

  8. #58
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    This is very frustrating for me to hear because my experience with female E relatives is that no matter how frankly I state what I am thinking or feeling they complain that I've been vague or they can't understand or they "don't remember that incident" (that's the worst just the worst) or that they *know* I am hiding something and that they really know what's going on with me.

    I feel like I am just speaking into the wind when I try and communicate with them. *sigh*

    On the subject of boundary violations, one of them finally told me: "We do what we want, when we want, why can't you just accept that?"

    That's when I gave it all up as hopeless and limited my contact with them.
    Ahhh, that would piss me off too. I don't like when someone tells me they know what I am thinking or feeling. It's presumptuous. And they do what they want and you must accept it? Ha! I can only imagine the string of obscenities that would flow out of my mouth...

    But about the vagueness, I can only relate it back to my experience. I have lately been having conversations with an introverted man, and let me tell you, we've had some comical communication problems. He really believes he's so direct, but I can't imagine why he would ever think that. Everything he says is drenched in subtext and it seems so obvious to him, and he is legitimately shocked that I don't pick up on it. If I ask a question, I need to hear the answer, not another question which implies the answer. It's very confusing for us both. It's at the point of ridiculousness. When I ask a question, he assumes that I am taking a stance (if I ask if he wants chinese food, for example, he assumes this means that I want chinese food. but if I wanted it, I would say it, not ask a question...)

    I'm sure you are being pretty damn direct, but in general, most people aren't as clear as they think they are.

  9. #59
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    ^ Oh I wish I could be sure of that. I am not able to verbalize nearly half as well as I can compose text. And that's gotten worse for me as I've gotten older. So you know, I've sent some of these difficult people emails at times and then I am accused of being too hard, direct, cold and it's shocking to them. But then they irritate the hell out of me by playing "Oh I can't understand" or "I don't remember"

  10. #60
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    All's fair in love and war, here's the Extroverted rebuttle to that silly list posted elsewhere. Feel free to add your own points. You know you I's are guilty of some of these!

    ...Annoying things I's do.

    1. Flake out on parties because they can't be bothered to be extroverted, then want you to suddenly convert to Introversion when you're hanging out with them.
    2. When I will not accept that the E doesn't want to be introverted at their whim.
    3. When the I's complained themselves into getting their way and you're forced to pretend that it doesn't bother you that this has happened for the third time
    4. When the I never picks up that you might need their company.
    5. When you go out together and the I pays more attention to their drink/tv than you.
    6. When I's get upset just because we try to confirm they're okay by asking a simple question instead of trying to guess what's going on in their head.
    7. When I gets annoyed by a phone call even though the E might feel more comfortable saying something over the phone
    8. They play the victim everytime an E messes up something they tried to plan via telepathy.
    9. When I doesn't talk during one-on-one time and expects us to be some jukebox on demand.
    10. When I doesn't realize that socializing means two people interact with each other, and quiet time is better left to alone time.
    11. When I refuses to keep up a conversation.
    12. When you just decide to continue to talk, the I gets upset that they didn't have time to put their two cents in.
    I can relate to #1. As soon as I lose on the beirut/beer pong table [which is rare] I'm ready to go home.

    The others not so much. #4 I can see as well. Please let me know if you need me for something, I typically am unable to guess.



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