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  1. #31
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    Guilt of points 1 & 5. The rest, including subbies doesn't apply.

    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    1. Flake out on parties because they can't be bothered to be extroverted, then want you to suddenly convert to Introversion when you're hanging out with them.

    5. When you go out together and the I pays more attention to their drink/tv than you.
    My stuff (design & other junk) lives here: http://nnbox.ca

  2. #32
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    All's fair in love and war, here's the Extroverted rebuttle to that silly list posted elsewhere. Feel free to add your own points. You know you I's are guilty of some of these!

    ...Annoying things I's do.

    1. Flake out on parties because they can't be bothered to be extroverted, then want you to suddenly convert to Introversion when you're hanging out with them.
    2. When I will not accept that the E doesn't want to be introverted at their whim.
    3. When the I's complained themselves into getting their way and you're forced to pretend that it doesn't bother you that this has happened for the third time
    4. When the I never picks up that you might need their company.
    5. When you go out together and the I pays more attention to their drink/tv than you.
    6. When I's get upset just because we try to confirm they're okay by asking a simple question instead of trying to guess what's going on in their head.
    7. When I gets annoyed by a phone call even though the E might feel more comfortable saying something over the phone
    8. They play the victim everytime an E messes up something they tried to plan via telepathy.
    9. When I doesn't talk during one-on-one time and expects us to be some jukebox on demand.
    10. When I doesn't realize that socializing means two people interact with each other, and quiet time is better left to alone time.
    11. When I refuses to keep up a conversation.
    12. When you just decide to continue to talk, the I gets upset that they didn't have time to put their two cents in.
    Everything you've described is based on a simple difference in perspective:

    Extraverts base their sense of justice on the idea of a person having an obligation to interact with others. Introverts base theirs on not being a burden to the other person. Thus, both come across as arrogant to one another. And in addition, both feel that they've made every reasonable concession for the other person's arrogant behavior, but that they just keep getting their toes stepped on.

    Extraverts seem arrogant to Introverts because they feel as if they're entitled to interact with another person when there's no clear indication of interest, and feel they've done their job by making an effort to interact. Introverts seem arrogant to Extraverts because they don't feel a duty to be proactive in gaining and holding the other's interest, and feel they've done their job by minimizing their burden.

    It's really that simple. Why does no one see that both sets of (mis)perceptions are based on an incompatible sense of justice?

    Incidentally, that particular sense of justice is a huge disinclination to taking the initiative... here's an example of my thought process every time I think about contacting someone:

    "What if they're busy?" "You're no one to them. Who the hell do you think you are?" "What if you make a faux pas and they hate you?" "They'll think you're needy. No one likes a needy person." "Is this really important enough to bother them about?" "Why would they care about this? It doesn't have anything to do with them." "It's your problem, not theirs, deal with it yourself." "They'll think you're obsessed with them, and that's creepy." "They didn't explicitly give you permission to bother them today." "Don't you have anything more important to focus on than pestering other people?" "What might they end up demanding of you to reciprocate for this? Is it worth the risk of that burden?"

    Try having a day where you ask yourself those questions every time you go to interact with someone, and see how often you still interact with them.

  3. #33
    Senior Member Shimmy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    All's fair in love and war, here's the Extroverted rebuttle to that silly list posted elsewhere. Feel free to add your own points. You know you I's are guilty of some of these!

    ...Annoying things I's do.

    1. Flake out on parties because they can't be bothered to be extroverted, then want you to suddenly convert to Introversion when you're hanging out with them.
    2. When I will not accept that the E doesn't want to be introverted at their whim.
    3. When the I's complained themselves into getting their way and you're forced to pretend that it doesn't bother you that this has happened for the third time
    4. When the I never picks up that you might need their company.Just frikkin' tell me to get over.
    5. When you go out together and the I pays more attention to their drink/tv than you.
    6. When I's get upset just because we try to confirm they're okay by asking a simple question instead of trying to guess what's going on in their head.
    7. When I gets annoyed by a phone call even though the E might feel more comfortable saying something over the phoneEmail = less confrontational.
    8. They play the victim everytime an E messes up something they tried to plan via telepathy. This just never happens with my I friends
    9. When I doesn't talk during one-on-one time and expects us to be some jukebox on demand.
    10. When I doesn't realize that socializing means two people interact with each other, and quiet time is better left to alone time.
    11. When I refuses to keep up a conversation. Only if the subject is me or my feelings.
    12. When you just decide to continue to talk, the I gets upset that they didn't have time to put their two cents in.
    The bold points are the one I might be guilty off. The small print is my point of view.

  4. #34
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    It's really that simple. Why does no one see that both sets of (mis)perceptions
    Well, I don't know how serious the original post was intended to be, but this was just for giggles to show exactly that point. There's two sides to every story, and no one is more 'right' or 'wrong' than the other. This is just for fun, afterall Note the emoticons in the OP.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
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  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    When you go out together and the I pays more attention to their drink/tv than you...
    If your friends are taking their TV along when you go out together, then they've reached a whole new level of rude. jmo.

    I've been ignored for the TV by extroverts, they sit there shouting at it and each other about the stupid crap coming over the airways that I don't give a damn about. (My in-law E's would make some of you milder E run a mile!)

    I never understand why the TV has to be on when people are over anyway. I don't run my TV most of the time (certainly not when I have guests over!) and the most annoying Es in my life always complain that it makes my house "too quiet" and they are going insane and how to I bear it etc.

    TV is just a lot of needless noise, it is the ultimate annoying E that never shuts up!



    It always, always takes me time to "warm up" and become talkative. If a pushy E won't allow me to warm up and starts talking rapid fire or pushing at me, I just lose energy and NEED to find some quiet time alone. If they let me take a few moments to have stop and go conversation, I usually warm up and then you can't shut me up! So let the I stare at their drink a few moments. Good grief...

  6. #36
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    If I may play Devil's advocate.

    If you are having an in depth conversation and then shift your focus to another person abruptly, this can be seen as superficial or at least, not fully engaged or interested.
    Yes, but this is provided we are having an in depth conversation. But I'm talking about when I'm across the table from a dead fish staring back at me. Why hang out and then not engage me. And then get upset if I engage someone else? I can't be all things to all people, and I'm not a mind reader.

    And as far as the coaxing goes, Lauren, I mean it only in the context of suddenly withdrawing when you guys feel slighted, not in general overall. And I can never tell when I've actually slighted you guys or if you're just being quiet. There are no signs to tell me. It happens a lot when Is are upset with me and are getting madder by the minute and I don't sense it. And I get punished for it. So it's just easier to ask if you're ok all the time, then face the wrath unknowingly. Better odds.

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    And I can never tell when I've actually slighted you guys or if you're just being quiet. There are no signs to tell me.
    Look for the flaring nostrils.

  8. #38
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    And as far as the coaxing goes, Lauren, I mean it only in the context of suddenly withdrawing when you guys feel slighted, not in general overall. And I can never tell when I've actually slighted you guys or if you're just being quiet. There are no signs to tell me. It happens a lot when Is are upset with me and are getting madder by the minute and I don't sense it. And I get punished for it. So it's just easier to ask if you're ok all the time, then face the wrath unknowingly. Better odds.
    I don't mind if someone asks if I'm okay. Only problem is if they keep asking.

  9. #39
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    I don't mind if someone asks if I'm okay. Only problem is if they keep asking.
    Haha must be real love then with my infj
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    I don't mind if someone asks if I'm okay. Only problem is if they keep asking.
    What I especially hate is that around the time I turned 25 years old I began to try and always be open and frank about what I am feeling. I had an epniphany (or however it's spelled!) about that other people cannot read my mind!

    IT DOES NOT MATTER with some people. No matter what you say, no matter how simply you try to put it, they insist on clinging to their inital misunderstanding of what was going on in your mind. This is not limited to E vs. I but it's a problem when E take quietness for being mad or depressed and they've been told frankly and clearly what the truth is and yet keep proding and proding...seeking validation that ah-ha! they were correct all along, you were hiding deep dark feelings in your heart against them!

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