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View Poll Results: What would you do in the OP scenario?

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  • I would stress out about this situation and avoid the neighbor

    2 7.14%
  • I would stress out about this situation and seek to speak to the neighbor directly later

    0 0%
  • I would not care either way/I barely notice my neighbors

    4 14.29%
  • I would not stress out about the situation and shun the neighbor

    2 7.14%
  • I would not stress out about the situation and approach the neighbor directly later

    5 17.86%
  • My approach to neighbor: I would be friendly with the goal of apologizing/winning them over

    6 21.43%
  • My approach to neighbor: I would be firm with the goal of getting them to not bang on my wall again

    4 14.29%
  • My approach to neighbor: I would be business like to clear the air

    5 17.86%
  • I would've ignored the banging in the first place until the situation escalated

    6 21.43%
  • I would have banged on the wall right back

    5 17.86%
  • I would have knocked on my neighbor's door to talk to them right then, regardless of the time

    4 14.29%
  • CzeCze, you REALLY over think things sometimes.

    9 32.14%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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Results 1 to 10 of 33

  1. #1
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Default Neighbors! How would you handle this?

    Okay, hypothetical question:

    You are up very late on a Saturday night when your next door neighbor starts banging on your wall hard because they can hear your tv/music/party etc. The wall actually shakes. The banging startles you and everyone else in your home.

    Assume:

    1) You did not intend or know anyone could hear the noise from your apartment in theirs

    2) The neighbor's front door is only 5 feet from yours (meaning they could easily come to your door directly to ring your bell)

    3) There is a 24 hour front desk receptionist who has everyone's phone number. Part of this receptionist's job is to intervene for residents when there are noise complaints and other disputes.

    4) You own your unit and most of the other residents are also owners.

    5) You have never met your neighbor before and do not even know who lives in that unit.

    So basically, what would you do?

    I'll fill in the rest of the real life blanks after I hear from you! Please include any anecdotes from real life, whether you were the one banging the wall or playing the music, rented/owned, what the building and neighborhood was like, how old you were at the time, what the resolution was, and in retrospect if you would do anything differently.

    Thanks!

    I am curious...
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  2. #2
    full of love Kingfisher's Avatar
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    ignore them completely and become confrontational if they decide to come over in person.
    but then, i don't think i would live in a place that has a receptionist.

    if there is a noise curfew or an assumption that you will be quiet after a certain time, i guess you have to decide whether you want to respect that or move out. i prefer to live in places where it is live and let live, even if that means crazy animal sounds next door.

  3. #3
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    honestly i'd say...oh sorry bout that. didn't know you could hear. would've been nice if ya came over and told me or called instead because you scared the hell out of us and it's not like we were exactly being careless. we just didn't know it was too loud...so...just call me or something next time you have a problem and again sorry bout that.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #4
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Default

    Lest I seem too crazy - yes Lady X ^^ that was my thought as well!
    It should and is on the surface a very straight forward, simple thing.

    Honestly though, I am coming to terms with some lingering anxiety issues that I thought time and life would take care of. I especially have latent anxiety about 'safety/conflict' and this triggered a lot of anxiety for me. Also, my parents were visiting to see my new place and I was already on edge around them a bit and they were also really startled and that stressed me out more.

    I knew I had to talk to the neighbor directly, but honestly, it stressed me out. I kept on thinking about worst case scenarios. Again, triggering latent anxiety (remnants of a protracted time in my life where I had A LOT of anxiety, social phobia, etc.)

    I rang their door today before I left out but no one answered. When I got home it was too late to try again so I contemplated going over again tomorrow. I wondered how many times I should try to knock on their door directly before letting things go and bringing it up to them if I happen to meet them in the next month or so.

    I talked to a friend (INXJ) about it and she said she wouldn't even bother with it. She said if I don't know and never see this neighbor and in her words, "they are being an ass" it's not worth making the extra effort for them. But in my POV, I'm making this effort for me if that makes sense.

    But even just writing this out makes me realize how 'not a big deal' it is and makes me more relaxed. So thanks TypologyCentral. I'll post an update later.

    PS - I STILL want your answers people! Tell me what you'd do!
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  5. #5

    Default

    I think I would go over there and talk it through. If I was in your shoes I might ask someone to go with me.

    I'd try not to let my anger show and ask some questions about what led up to them banging on the wall. Then I'd state my case and say I'll try and keep it down.

    I've had situations similar to this and I've done that and it's worked out.

  6. #6
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Me and my amp are really, really grateful that we've never lived in apartment style accommodation, I have lived in a maisonette though and had wall-bangings from time to time, personally I preferred that to having someone knock on my door very late at night, it let me know that they could hear me and as I had no interest in bothering them at night I would turn my music down.

    Being in a maisonette meant that anyone could be knocking on my door though and late at night there is no way Id answer it, for one Im probably not decent and secondly I would have had no idea that it was my neighbour and not some scary-angry-psycho clown wanting to kill me and wear my skin as a people-suit.

    As much as it would shock me I figured they'd been sitting there getting more and more frustrated till they could no longer handle it... then again after meeting my neighbour I knew she was reasonable, yours may not be.

  7. #7
    Senior Member matmos's Avatar
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    Turn down the TV.

  8. #8
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Okay, hypothetical question:

    You are up very late on a Saturday night when your next door neighbor starts banging on your wall hard because they can hear your tv/music/party etc. The wall actually shakes. The banging startles you and everyone else in your home.

    Assume:

    1) You did not intend or know anyone could hear the noise from your apartment in theirs

    2) The neighbor's front door is only 5 feet from yours (meaning they could easily come to your door directly to ring your bell)

    3) There is a 24 hour front desk receptionist who has everyone's phone number. Part of this receptionist's job is to intervene for residents when there are noise complaints and other disputes.

    4) You own your unit and most of the other residents are also owners.

    5) You have never met your neighbor before and do not even know who lives in that unit.

    So basically, what would you do?

    I'll fill in the rest of the real life blanks after I hear from you! Please include any anecdotes from real life, whether you were the one banging the wall or playing the music, rented/owned, what the building and neighborhood was like, how old you were at the time, what the resolution was, and in retrospect if you would do anything differently.

    Thanks!

    I am curious...
    When people are rude it triggers a not so pleasant reaction in me lol so in this instance the insane banging would have only made me put my music up louder to really piss them off. I've had it happen before and reacted in the same way.

    Even if I am asked in the wrong tone of voice it can trigger me off. I hate people with no manners, just knock and ask me politely to turn it down.

    I have neighbours on both sides of my house, one knocked and asked nicely and got a nice reaction.

    One, on a different topic, ie my dog, was not polite, she was just abrupt and aggressive before even trying politeness. She got more of what was annoying her which was me playing with the dog in the garden with the dog howling along to a song.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

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  9. #9
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Probably would have been startled and stressed out about the idea of them suddenly ringing my door and yelling at me for something like that. But, I also would have ignored the banging and just turned down whatever it was/put on headphones. It could be that they didn't realise they were banging as hard as they were, or had had problems with noisy neighbours in the past.

    And then, at some point, I would start laughing and wonder if the banging was coincidentally timed and a result of: crazy sex, falling over into the wall, hanging a picture really aggressively while drunk.
    "I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."

    Robert Frost

  10. #10
    Senior Member Clover's Avatar
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    I hate noisy neighbors, I have to deal with children screaming on either side of my house, plus really noisy dogs. I always bang on my wall out of frustration, but since we don't live in an apartment complex, I don't think anyone can hear me ( or they just assume we're hanging up pictures, haha ). If it was MY apartment, I would try to be respectful and maybe talk to my neighbor about the situation, and apologize if I annoyed them. Since I don't own or pay for anything in this house, I can't really complain about anything.

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