It looked as if I would have to do extra work to stay right where I was for several years, or even decades, before getting even a few thousand dollars, let alone the $20,000-$60,000 (maybe more) for what I wanted. But then, all I have to go by are calculations that make costs seem impossible to meet, and jobs that don't offer enough to even make it reasonable. And there's so much that's up in the air that there's no way a plan as detailed as most people expect could even work.The first thing to realize is that you are saying is not rational - that the extra work for the same standard is also not rational. You can plot this easily - how long can your current standard possible last vs your eventual outcome.
Also realize there is nothing wrong with this. Very few things in life, if anything, are actually rational. What it does mean is that you cannot trust your own reasons for (not) doing something, and look to resolve them so that you can do the best thing for yourself.
Okay, that makes sense. What's funny is, I never actually thought I was rational enough to use or react so much to rationalizations. I figured that was more something that an NT would do.
Usually study psychology and computing-oriented topics. It's too bad there's nothing that involves both interests. Psychology stimulates me in one way, computing stimulates me in another.Life isn't really like that, it just feels like it for some... including myself. The analogy I use is the 'grind'. Unfortunately, it's true for a lot of personalities... they find it difficult to embrace things.
But I think you are still young enough to answer the question - what do you do in your free time? Try to answer it early in life. I don't have an answer anymore. A decade+ into your working life, if you have 'grinded' yourself into a hole, that question just cannot be answered.