I've realized something about why I'm so paranoid about people. Sure, there's the fact that I'm an INJ, but there's more to it.
Not only am I naturally paranoid and afraid of what can go wrong, the few times I managed to overcome it and felt like trying something, my mother would always throw out a thousand more "what if" questions, and insist on my planning it out completely with contingency plans for anything that might go wrong (and always pointed out the worst possibilities). Needless to say, since trying to plan something out to the nth degree with all the details tends to make so paranoid, stressed out, and anxious that it just killed the little spark that made me want to try, I just decide not to do it unless it's extremely safe, predictable, controllable, and simple... so I ended up never doing anything.
So I'm wondering what kind of effect that might have had on me. INJs are a little paranoid naturally, but what do you think happens if your parents reinforce the behavior and try to make you stay inside boundaries you're already afraid to cross in the first place?
The thing about my mother you should know is how she lives her life. She just goes to work, comes home, watches TV, maybe occasionally goes to help grandma with something, and sleeps. She's pretty much never seriously tried to do anything more, and has lots of hang ups and excuses to keep her content just watching TV and paying the bills. Always criticizes how people are, how pointless and silly everything they do is.
So the thing that sucks is... if my theory is right, I've somehow got to over come both my own natural tendencies, and the ones I've been taught, if I ever want to get anywhere. I've been trying to overcome that kind of paranoia and passivity for years now, and I haven't managed yet.
Sorry about all the whining, I know it sounds childish. Anyway, my point was, do you think I'm right that my natural paranoia was reinforced by my imprinting, and that's a big part of why I'm like I am now? If I can't do anything else, I'd like to understand why I'm like this.