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  1. #1
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Default Reinforced paranoia

    I've realized something about why I'm so paranoid about people. Sure, there's the fact that I'm an INJ, but there's more to it.

    Not only am I naturally paranoid and afraid of what can go wrong, the few times I managed to overcome it and felt like trying something, my mother would always throw out a thousand more "what if" questions, and insist on my planning it out completely with contingency plans for anything that might go wrong (and always pointed out the worst possibilities). Needless to say, since trying to plan something out to the nth degree with all the details tends to make so paranoid, stressed out, and anxious that it just killed the little spark that made me want to try, I just decide not to do it unless it's extremely safe, predictable, controllable, and simple... so I ended up never doing anything.

    So I'm wondering what kind of effect that might have had on me. INJs are a little paranoid naturally, but what do you think happens if your parents reinforce the behavior and try to make you stay inside boundaries you're already afraid to cross in the first place?

    The thing about my mother you should know is how she lives her life. She just goes to work, comes home, watches TV, maybe occasionally goes to help grandma with something, and sleeps. She's pretty much never seriously tried to do anything more, and has lots of hang ups and excuses to keep her content just watching TV and paying the bills. Always criticizes how people are, how pointless and silly everything they do is.

    So the thing that sucks is... if my theory is right, I've somehow got to over come both my own natural tendencies, and the ones I've been taught, if I ever want to get anywhere. I've been trying to overcome that kind of paranoia and passivity for years now, and I haven't managed yet.

    Sorry about all the whining, I know it sounds childish. Anyway, my point was, do you think I'm right that my natural paranoia was reinforced by my imprinting, and that's a big part of why I'm like I am now? If I can't do anything else, I'd like to understand why I'm like this.

  2. #2
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    I've always been attracted to paranoia. And I don't know why.

    I've been attracted to paranoid schizophrenics and conspiracy theorists and I am fascinated by anti-semites.

    I've tried to explain this away by saying that paranoia is fascinating because it provides a simple solution to a complex problem. Or I have tried to analyse paranoia by saying that paranoia is psychological preparation to attack.

    But none of this seems to work and all I am left with is saying that paranoia is a warm feeling inside - but this take me nowhere.

    And this is precisely where paranoia take you - nowhere.

    But I wonder - is it paranoia you are talking about or anxiety neurosis?

    And if it is anxiety neurosis, you are in luck as psychologists are very good at curing anxiety neurosis.

  3. #3
    Senior Member FC3S's Avatar
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    To get over paranoia, you may attempt something sufferers of Obsessive Compuslive Disorder employ - Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Rather than learning something, you attempt to brainwash yourself, think of it as forcing yourself to do something and believing it.

    Naturally if it's what you want - you'll believe it soon enough. It just depends if you'll take the initial step. Most OCD sufferers fail through this and need meds. Sadly, OCD sufferers also gain an immunity to the drugs and need to switch to another.

    [Edit] Much like OCD, you are aware something is wrong. You may be able to take the initial step that OCD sufferers can't. Good luck.
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  4. #4
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    I have some paranoia, even one of my (still-believed-to-a-point) principle is "for some things, there's no overtly paranoid."

    by "for some things" I mean human personality, the future, people's attitude, behaviour, and relationships, and zombie apocalypses (my sweet childhood memories~)

    to a point, I'm like you, I tend to go with the similar, with the known; the fear of the unknown, I think.

    I've been trying to reinforce my attempt to free from paranoia with willpower ('as long as I tried, it'll make --something--'), acceptance ('some things are bound to fall, at least you learn something'), and recklessness, to a point ('where's the fun with this?') and it helped to a point, but at some point it blends with the paranoia and...turns into something else. Absence of hope? Procrastination? Carelessness?

    And I've also tried making the paranoia into personal weapons; instead of only thinking it inside I made it into plans or at least take a note of it. Who knows, it might've been useful and it's a good brain exercise.

    I think most problems of paranoia is...well, between the irrational fear itself and the irrational fear of failures. How about others?


    (oh, also, I would suggest to not hearing your mother in this aspect; you should be free to do your own things and some people have different things to be comfortable with)

  5. #5
    Senior Member NewEra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Not only am I naturally paranoid and afraid of what can go wrong, the few times I managed to overcome it and felt like trying something, my mother would always throw out a thousand more "what if" questions, and insist on my planning it out completely with contingency plans for anything that might go wrong (and always pointed out the worst possibilities). Needless to say, since trying to plan something out to the nth degree with all the details tends to make so paranoid, stressed out, and anxious that it just killed the little spark that made me want to try, I just decide not to do it unless it's extremely safe, predictable, controllable, and simple... so I ended up never doing anything.
    I too have some forms of paranoia, and they are somewhat irrational. My mom's just the way you described your mom as too. She's INFJ. I think I got some of the irrational fears from her, while my dad used a slightly more effective method of ignoring the fear.

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