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  1. #1
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Default Inexplicable aggression

    Normally I'm a pretty calm guy, but lately I've noticed that I've been getting somewhat angry. I can't really figure out why. I have theories, but alas, understanding complex emotion isn't my strong suit.

    Most of my anger has been really small stuff that has set me off, resulting in loud aggressive responses. Like yelling in traffic. Actually, I haven't directly yelled at anyone, just sort of yelled like a jackass to myself in my car. Then pretty much immediately afterward I was struck at how weird/useless that was. But I also found myself angry about little things around the house, and the pattern is the same - strong anger and then feeling really silly afterward.

    I suspect, but am not sure, that completely unrelated events are stressing me out. I drive a diesel truck and move furniture for my job (not a bad job for a 20 year old) and a day or two ago I pulled around back and parked in an alley (DC rowhouses). It was an L shaped alley so I presumed there was an exit on the other side of the L, and parked in such a way as too leave room for cars to exit on both sides.

    I'm inside the apartment (close by), hear a honk and the lady I'm moving for says I'm blocking someone. So I get down there (45 seconds cause I was going down the stairs anyway) and this lady starts barking at me. "What were you thinking?" she says, arms up, eyes intent.
    I try to be polite. "I thought there was an exit on the other side"

    "NO, there is no exit."

    I see this isn't going anywhere so I hop in the cab, start up and move somewhere else. The lady is waiting there for me when I get out. I walk pass her car and try to just give her a nod and move on but she rolls down her window, and in a rather condescending quasi-friendly tone explains: "I'm coming back in 30 minutes. If your truck is blocking the alley, I'll have no other choice but to call 911."

    "I don't think that will be necessary."

    She gives me a fake half smile and I walk away.

    Normally I just wouldn't care about this whole thing, write it off as someone I wouldn't want to associate with, but for some reason, this whole thing just pissed me off and continues to do so for the last couple days.

    I don't really even know what I'm writing here, but if you could give me some practical advice on how to chill out that'd be cool.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  2. #2
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Usually when I get a short fuse it's hormonal. Are you eating less healthy so your body is stressed? Is there some situation that is stressing you out that is nagging at you? (sounds most likely)

    That said, that lady does sound irritating.

  3. #3
    No Cigar Litvyak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    "I'm coming back in 30 minutes. If your truck is blocking the alley, I'll have no other choice but to call 911."
    <- at this point, you should've gotten out of the truck and bash her quasi-friendly face until she screams, giving her a real reason to call 911.

    You can thank me later.

  4. #4
    The Destroyer Colors's Avatar
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    What the fuck? How can you say that?

    To the OP: I don't know. Sometimes little events like that throw me into a funk too. I don't know. I guess it sort of challenges my view of the world in some strange way. And I feel restless that I haven't got a "plan" in mind to deal with new iterations of this problem that might come my way. I haven't got an explanation and it nags at me until I can find a way to integrate it into my beliefs (and in the meanwhile I become very terse to other people).

    What Elaur said is true too. Treat yourself nice. I like to go somewhere a little different and quiet- get out of my usual thinking zones/patterns.

    It does seem like frustration-inducing that the woman already had formed such a negative reaction to you, and that there was nothing you could do to change that.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    Usually when I get a short fuse it's hormonal. Are you eating less healthy so your body is stressed? Is there some situation that is stressing you out that is nagging at you? (sounds most likely)

    That said, that lady does sound irritating.
    Actually, my eating habits have gone way downhill. Bad part about this job is that I'm out on the road all day and frequently am eating gas station fare (read: junk). I need to start packing lunches/snacks. There's a lot of good recipes (not sure why, but there are) on this forum that I should try out. Go-go taquitos, beef jerky, and a slushie is a no-go. However, I refuse to give up the weird ethnic food that I get when I go into odd neighborhoods. You'll have to pry those authentic tongue-meat tacos (la luenga, how I adore you) from my cold, dead hands.

    Quote Originally Posted by Litvyak View Post
    <- at this point, you should've gotten out of the truck and bash her quasi-friendly face until she screams, giving her a real reason to call 911.

    You can thank me later.
    I think she would start screaming first and then progressively get quieter as I kept bashing.

    Minor technicality.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Colors View Post
    What the fuck? How can you say that?
    It made me smile a bit even though it shouldn't have.

    To the OP: I don't know. Sometimes little events like that throw me into a funk too. I don't know. I guess it sort of challenges my view of the world in some strange way. And I feel restless that I haven't got a "plan" in mind to deal with new iterations of this problem that might come my way. I haven't got an explanation and it nags at me until I can find a way to integrate it into my beliefs (and in the meanwhile I become very terse to other people).

    What Elaur said is true too. Treat yourself nice. I like to go somewhere a little different and quiet- get out of my usual thinking zones/patterns.

    It does seem like frustration-inducing that the woman already had formed such a negative reaction to you, and that there was nothing you could do to change that.
    Yeah, I hear you on the "plan" part. I just didn't know how to react to that.

    I had forgot up to this point a snippet of advice I had given myself at some unidentified point in time (but I remember it anyway) that goes something like this: "If you find yourself repeating something or it keeps popping into your head, you're telling yourself to make a plan to get to the next step."

    Sometimes I forget that I have useful advice in my head if I know how to look for it.

    Good call.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  7. #7
    No Cigar Litvyak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Colors View Post
    What the fuck? How can you say that?
    You can't possibly think I was serious, right? :rolli:

    Personally, I don't think an answer like "treat yourself nice" would soothe my aching soul in such a situation, it'd just make me even more furious. If you can't hit that terrible bitch until she bleeds because of some social restraints, just permit yourself to be angry for a while. Devouring emotions makes you sick.

    That may not be the most appropriate answer from a Vulcan, but hey, exceptions prove the rule. Live long and prosper!

  8. #8
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Boo - first of all, there's few things I hate as much as the politely-rude passive-aggressive smiling-but-not approach. That's for people who know they have to fight from the bushes or else get stomped flat. I don't like dealing with social cowardice. I would have found her intrusion rude and back-handed as well. She either doesn't understand or feel capable of using true diplomacy.

    Whenever I'm feeling the bite of frustration or anger, it's always deeply rooted in something else, usually something I can't change or control. It can be anything from my anger towards being in pain or anxiety about money. It could be I'm feeling neglected by the ones I love. It could be that I'm angry with myself for messing something up. It takes a little digging too - you'd think being an Fe-primary would be like handing my feelings to me on a plate, labeled and separated, but my feelings are so frequently manipulated and altered by others that I'm not always feeling my own emotions - I'm feeling THEIRS. It's like being a shape-shifter almost.

    It sounds like you feel trapped on some level.

    *smacks away the tongue meat taco*
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  9. #9
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    However, I refuse to give up the weird ethnic food that I get when I go into odd neighborhoods. You'll have to pry those authentic tongue-meat tacos (la luenga, how I adore you) from my cold, dead hands.
    Oh, I would never ditch weird ethnic food! As long as it's authentic I see nothing wrong with it. It's when it becomes "authentic" Mr-Mexican-Jack tacos that it is a problem. (fake name)

  10. #10
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Mr. Mexican Jack resents that implication, El!
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

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