When I first meet someone, I always look at their friends first, see if I know any of them. I think that friends are a good indicator for someones behavior. And of course, I judge them on their vibe as well. It works, my first impression is always right!
I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
- George W. Bush -
I am doing good if I notice if things around me are animal, vegatable or mineral.
and after I do notice them ->
Originally Posted by Tallulah
I take in the whole person and the vibe they give off.
Maybe the judging is subconscious but I don't let that bother me. Mostly I just let people be who they are and let the information flow towards me. Whether it's negative or positive, I don't care.
I'm always interested in what and why people will do next and how I feel about it.
I judge my own reaction to the person, and not so much the person. It tends to focus on their communication, not what they are wearing or external appearance. I want to feel like I own my responses rather than placing assumptions on the other person.
If they shake my hand and start bragging about their accomplishments, my reaction is something like, "ok, they function in the social dominance/competition model and I don't. It is unlikely I will have much meaningful communication with this person (however not impossible)."
If they start into telling me everything personal about their life, my reaction is, "this person may monopolize my time if I establish an acquaintanceship or friendship with them. I must stay aware of boundary issues here, although realize this could also be an exception and not a pattern for this person."
If someone makes me feel threatened, I pay attention to that and end communication. It's worth the risk of mistaken assumption in this case.
If someone seems intelligent, kind, and reasonable in their communication, I might think, "I would enjoy talking to this person in the future."
In the situations where my response is one in which I don't want to invest myself in the other person, it isn't about who I think they are, but more how I think our relating would play out. The competitive/dominance person may be kinder than I could ever dream of being or the opposite, but they demonstrate a relating style that does not appeal to me. I try not to assume and reject them personally because there is always a social context that generates the behavior as well personal motivations. It might be more accurate to say I form so many possible opinions, that by default there is not an opinion. I think this is more accurate than saying my mind is blank about it.
The first man to raise a fist is the man who's run out of ideas. H.G. WELLS
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. FEYNMAN If this is monkey pee, you're on your own.SCULLY
I don't judge. That's not good. I should judge more. But the thing that totally stops me from having interest and respect for person
if person judge me or someone else too fast. I'm alergic to those people, don't understand them.
Based on looks, I am indifferent towards most people. Some people give off vibes, women if they are attractive, men if they instill fear, and some men have some kind of sharp stabbing that comes from the eyes (I have no idea what this is). The first two, I have employed mental training to ignore. However, the latter hasn't failed me and I trust it to the fullest. Those kidns of people shouldn't be trusted. Some people are so bad in hygiene I am repulsed. Others dress so provocatively to gain notice - I ignore them (most of the time).
Outside of that, I judge based on personality. Call them credentials, but if they don't add up, I'm not going to like the person.
ESTP - Definition: "Love" is making a shot to the knees of a target a 120 km away, with an aratech sniper rifle and tri-light scope.
I look at body language and "read between the lines" of what people are saying--searching for something truly honest, spontaneous, natural and simply "human" behind all the defense mechanisms and rationalizations and images they are trying to project.
I don't put a whole lot of stock in clothing, physical appearance, mannerisms, and the things people say, of course, because, I prefer "Intuition" to "Sensing".
Also---I don't tend to make very solid judgements about people---especially in the first few minutes of meeting them. I prefer to let my impressions of people continually develop as I get to know them more.
That's probably because I prefer "Perceiving" to "Judging".
And if I do form a "judgement" about someone, it's based more on how I feel about them, rather than what I think of them---which is not surprising since I prefer "Feeling" to "Thinking."
I am most definitely studying and analyzing and even categorizing people as I interact with them---but in a very flexible and non-dogmatic way.
My intention is generally to understand people, to try and "see things through their eyes", so that I can coexist peacefully with them.
So when I meet a new person, I begin with the expectation that we will have some things in common, and some points of disagreement---and I consciously look for points of agreement.