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  1. #61
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    Maybe someone has said this, but I wonder if some of this has something to do with intelligence...
    Higher intelligence extraverts may be having trouble connecting with people and therefore concluding "people are dumb" "I don't need them." When really most of the people around them just can't or choose not to have the same types of conversations or interests..

    And while really really basic conversations about bars, sports, what you do for a living, food, decorating, celebrity gossip, can be neccessary to build rapport, maybe these people just can't get anything out of it as much.. So, therefore, feel alone, and adapt that way... and eventually convince themselves that they want to be loners. When really they just want to be around people who can hold the same caliber of conversatoins and interests.
    You are essentially correct. Speaking personally there have been times in my life when I did most things by myself, and there have been other times when I did most things with others (often in a group). I much prefer the latter, but only if we're doing things that I actually like to do. Sometimes I can't find people with similar interests so I just do things by myself. For me that is preferable to being in a group doing and talking about boring things.
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  2. #62
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    Right, exactly.. a loner being one who doesn't necissarily desire connection.... where an extravert who is alone all the time? Probably desires connection.. But can't get it for some reason or the other.
    No. I look for stimuli - and often it has nothing or very little to do with other people, although it can. And I am an extrovert, for sure.

  3. #63
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    No. I look for stimuli - and often it has nothing or very little to do with other people, although it can. And I am an extrovert, for sure.
    That's essentially what I was trying to say by providing my example. Extraversion is not about people and if you look at some ENTPs, this becomes clear. It's about focus in the external world.

  4. #64
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    I do like being around people and when i am, i am like the Duracell bunny in the adverts. I just keep on going.
    However, i do like my own time alone.
    I have become such a book worm recently and just want to read. I can't do that when around people.

    Someone else said it on here about an ESFJ he was dating, she knew a freakishly lot of people (check) but didn't have alot of friends (check).
    That's me.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
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  5. #65
    Senior Member Max's Avatar
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    I may have been one for a while. It wasn't until I met my college friends that I was reminded that people actually have the potential to do good and be mature and that the people whom I had known for many years were not necessarily all that existed, so I was most definitely a loner. I find myself now being an extrovert and I am quite happy that I have an opportunity to let it out.

  6. #66
    Senior Member SerengetiBetty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    I just find it hard to believe that there would be extraverts out there who would just choose to disconnect and be alone a lot. Extraverts supposedly being the ones who "focus on the external world of people and things." People being of main focus for many extraverts. It seems like there would be other factors involved other than just wanting to disconnect and wanting to be alone.
    Same here...Even when I was at my most social awkwardest and less accepted I still felt a pull to extrovert, but then again I'm very high on the E scale. I also don't have a large need to be understood, as long as I'm treated in a respectful manner then we're OK.

    Is loner in this thread's context being defined as an extrovert who sometimes chooses to be alone? if so then that's me.There are quite a few things that I enjoy doing alone, somethings I like to experience on my own first. For instance, I love vacationing alone, especially if the city I'm going to has some special appeal to me. If I am required to vacation with someone else, I let them know that I'm going to need some alone time unless they really want to follow me on one of my obscure interests. I don't mind having the company, but I just hate it when people complain about what we could be doing instead. I'm always like "fine, then go do it.We can meet up later at the hotel"

    As for as most people being lame or whatever. Throughout the years of befriending just about every type of person - including "difficult" people - has something interesting to offer if you give them a chance to. Small talk has been mentioned as something that people hate, but I'm wondering how do you expect to get someone at a comfort level in order to drop their guard so that you can get to the meatier topics? getting people to talk about the fluffy things they like is a good way to pave the way to learn about the heavier things they like.

  7. #67
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    I spend a lot of time talking to people, and I meet people very easily, but I consider myself a loner, because I prefer to do my own thing.

    I do whatever I think is right, whether people support me or not.

    And I will not support something I think is wrong, no matter who is supporting it.

    I don't identify with any group.

    I'm an individual to the core.


    I've never lacked for companionship, and I'm married, with two kids.

    But, in a way, I've always been, and will always be, a loner at heart.
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  8. #68
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    The words Intorversion and Extraversion have been so corrupted over the decades.

    They are, like all the other factors in the MBTI, aspects of one's cognition. They are meant to indicate what information is obtained and what reasoning is used. Those attributes do not simply mean that someone is behaviorally social or asocial. Even people who tell me they understand this will turn right around and say "that person can't be Extraverted. He doesn't like spending time with people" .
    I'm confused myself. How would an introvert and extroverts cognition differ regarding this then?

  9. #69
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saint Kar View Post
    I always thought that loners are always introverted. That's why I thought that I was introverted for a long time, until I toke the MBTItest that said that I was extraverted. I started typing a lot op people lately, and then I realized that my dad is an ENTJ. And he's a loner. Why? Because he thinks that most people are lame anyway and that's why hanging around with them isn't worth it. My dad never felt like his lonerness was bad for him and he never had the urge to search new friends. I don't have any problem with being a loner either, I was kinda raised to be one. Somehow I feel like it makes me more free to do what I want. And yes, it's absolutely sure that we're both extraverted and we don't have any social phobia or autism or anything. Now I'm just curious how rare extraverted loners really are. Is it really something for introverted people only?
    Oh, man, you guys are brilliant! I went through a long time of trying to be ESFP. I'm so glad I got over that. I appreciate and enjoy the relationships I've had over the years with wonderful and engaging people. But I'm not going to find those relationships often or even always local. If I was off trying to be someone else to be engaged with a bunch of lame people I wouldn't have had the wonderful friendships I was able to enjoy.

    I'm not against finding more great friends, but really, how many people out there could ever be as awesome as me? It really takes longer to find them.

  10. #70
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I'm confused myself. How would an introvert and extroverts cognition differ regarding this then?
    By "this" are you referring to socializing?
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