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  1. #41
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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    I love being around people, but I hate most of the stuff they want to do. Like gossip about trivial stuff. Or go to a bar and watch football. Or any number of other things that are boring as hell.

    My extraversion tends to show more when I find people of similar interests.
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  2. #42
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Liquid_Laser View Post
    I love being around people, but I hate most of the stuff they want to do. Like gossip about trivial stuff. Or go to a bar and watch football. Or any number of other things that are boring as hell.

    My extraversion tends to show more when I find people of similar interests.
    Ditto.

    And I think the challenge in finding like-minded people has helped balance my first 3 preferences out a bit.

  3. #43
    Priestess Of Syrinx Katsuni's Avatar
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    I'm not sure if I could be called a "loner", in many ways it's true, I have pretty much nil for "real life" friends, I live a hermit's life, and I don't neccesarily see much use for people.

    Yet I am extroverted.

    I didn't understand whot the E/I difference really MEANT for a long time. Occasionally people would toss around terms like "energy drain" and stuff and it's like... yay feng shui? O.o;

    BlackCat, in our many discussions, has finally explained it in a way that makes SENSE to me now though.

    The introvert is one who does most of their thinking to themselves; like if they have an idea, they'll sit and think about it for a long time, dabble with possibilities in their head, and do it all internally. When they're done, they'll talk to people about the idea, but the only reason they're doing so, is to validate their decision to see if it was 'right'. They can do most of their thinking by themselves though, without external stimuli.

    Extroverts, however, learn by bouncing their ideas off other people, like I will personally learn FAR more by trying to explain how I understand something to someone else, than I will by studying it alone. So if I have an idea of how something works, I need to discuss it or try to explain it to someone else, and the process of explaining is whot makes it suddenly make sense to me. I CAN learn on my own, but very poorly. It's just a thousand times easier and faster when I have people to discuss things with.

    That being said, just because it's EASIER for me to do things with people... doesn't mean I neccesarily want to. I'm quite comfortable with having a nice bath with a book and alone time to relax. I's, on the other hand, supposedly find that as a way to 'gain' their 'energy' of sorts... it actually causes them minor stress as they get filled with ideas bottling up in them, and they need to release them by explaining it to someone else to relax.

    I think everyone has a degree of both E and I, and in different situations both will have an effect, but I don't think yeur "outgoing personality" is related in any way to E nor I, as both can be applicable at times. It's a combonation of the way in how yeu interact with people, and the times yeu prefer to interact with people. Being a 'loner' doesn't really get based off either of these things, but rather seems to be more of personal view of people in general; if yeu hate people yeu'll be a loner, regardless of being E or I. Unless yeu view them as tools to manipulate.

    But in any case, I don't think the E/I dichotomy really has much to do with loners. An E will prefer to work with people, an I will prefer to relax with people, neither of these things are loners.

  4. #44
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    You touched on a really important point in your OP. I think that you can most definately have extraverted loners ( I consider myself one) and I think that the various extraverts have different reasons for this. For example, I can completely understand that your dad, an ENTJ, would be an intravert because of the calibre of the people around him. i thnk, however, for ENFPs the motivation lies in our unending quest for freedom. So I think that whilst we may all be extraverted loners we are all going to have very different motivations for this.
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  5. #45
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Can someone define term "loner" in this context ?

  6. #46
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Maybe someone has said this, but I wonder if some of this has something to do with intelligence...
    Higher intelligence extraverts may be having trouble connecting with people and therefore concluding "people are dumb" "I don't need them." When really most of the people around them just can't or choose not to have the same types of conversations or interests..

    And while really really basic conversations about bars, sports, what you do for a living, food, decorating, celebrity gossip, can be neccessary to build rapport, maybe these people just can't get anything out of it as much.. So, therefore, feel alone, and adapt that way... and eventually convince themselves that they want to be loners. When really they just want to be around people who can hold the same caliber of conversatoins and interests.

  7. #47
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    I know a bunch of ENTP loners. You would think they were introverted. But they just feel misunderstood by the general populace.
    Yes. I'm ENTJ and I spend lots and lots of time alone out of free will.
    I have a shitload of acquaintances, but very few really close friends.
    And I wouldn't say that anyone really knows me, either.
    EDIT: What I wanted to say with this is that I play roles deliberately.
    I find it very easy to be what I want to be, for some reason.
    My paternal grandfather was the same.
    If I don't get to have secrets and privacy, I don't feel good.

    I know a few ENTP loners. I'd say we're alike, but not very.
    ENFJs can also tend to be loners. Maybe all types have representatives.

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  8. #48
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    I think there is also a difference between being a loner and feeling alone. Oe is about situation and the other is about choice. I think that the intelligence may lead to people feeling alone.. even in a crowd... even in a conversation. It is like being disconnected... however, I get the feeling that loners actually disconnect
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  9. #49
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    possibly short...but i don't know if i would say it's as much an intellectual difference as it is just different world views and different priorities...i have had several times where i found myself at a football watch party...i went because it was a party...thought it would be fun but i count them as some of the most boring experiences of my life. not only was i made to sit there with that shit on tv but that's all anyone talked about. i'll never do that again if i can help it.

    i said in a thread yesterday about my brain just shutting off when dealing with things i don't care about. i can't fake it. i just can't. i either connect to someone even in some small way or i don't at all. if i don't i just have nothin to say. i don't want to hear stories about things i don't find interesting. i don't want to have to sit there and be polite...i would rather be alone too...so that makes the e/i thing confusing for me but i feeeel like an extravert or specifically an enfp in every other way.
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  10. #50
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    I just find it hard to believe that there would be extraverts out there who would just choose to disconnect and be alone a lot. Extraverts supposedly being the ones who "focus on the external world of people and things." People being of main focus for many extraverts. It seems like there would be other factors involved other than just wanting to disconnect and wanting to be alone.

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