Grieving Process Defined
Understanding the grieving process has been extremely valuable to me. ANY loss, even the loss of hopes and dreams, can be grieved, and NEEDS to be grieved. Don't think you can bury your pain. It WILL resurface.
FACE the pain. It's worth it.
WHAT IS GRIEF
Grief is the overwhelming pain and sadness we feel when we suffer any loss, not just the loss of a person. It can be the loss of hopes and dreams. It can be a severe financial blow. Loss and grief are natural parts of life.
THE IMPORTANCE OF GRIEVING
If you allow yourself to face and experience your pain, you will eventually heal.
The biggest danger people face in ignoring or trying to bury their pain is that the wound doesn't heal, and it will just resurface later. Unhealed wounds cause you to be touchy and irritable, hypersensitive and easily hurt, or fearful. They make you hard to live with.
Grieving is necessary for healing.
You must allow yourself time to grieve and heal.
THE STAGES OF GRIEF
There are several stages of grief. You may not go through all these stages, you may not experience them in this order, and you may experience some stages more than once.
SHOCK OR DENIAL
Shock is a numbness, or feeling of unreality. This is generally the first stage of grief that a person goes through just after a significant loss or blow.
You may not feel much of anything. You may find yourself saying something like, "I can't believe this," or "This can't be happening."
You may not want to go anywhere, see others, or engage in normal activities.
You may lose your interest in life, or feel that you can't go on living.
You may struggle with difficulty concentrating, eating or sleeping too much, or not enough, and self-pity.
You may find yourself feeling guilty for things you did or didn't do or say prior to the loss. You start saying, "Why didn't I...?" "Why did I...?" or "If only I had..."
Anger at God.
Anger at yourself.
Anger at others.
It may take you a while to process all your anger, especially if you were brought up in a family that didn't allow you to express bad feelings.
When you have angry feelings, and think angry thoughts, realize that it's just a natural stage you need to pass through.
You must express your anger in healthy ways.
Writing down your thoughts and feelings in a journal is a great way to express anger without being judged.
Most of the pain is gone.
You accept the fact that something bad happened.
You forgive those who have hurt or wronged you.
You are ready to invest yourself in life again.