This thread is intended as an irreverent but not mean-spirited joke; if it is percieved differently by any anonymous member of the forum, I would have no objections if the madmins moved it to the Graveyard.
Here are what I view as typical examples of adherents to specific religions:
Buddhism: "I want to die so that the unbearable pain that is my existence will end, but I'm deathly afraid that I'll continue to exist, anyway...hope this works!"
Lavey Satanism: "I'm basically an objectivist with a strong hedonist streak who gets off on scaring religious old ladies through bullshit symbols and rituals."
Scientology: "I am either a) batshit insane, or b) fucking bughouse nuts."
Wicca: "I really really like Dungeons and Dragons and/or Mercedes Lackey novels."
Let's hear from some others.