my biggest issue is being a terrible "flex". Often ill be bored, with nothing to do on weekend... but the problem is that im often not willing to sacrifice during the week:
-hate working out with the other people (im gonna do what I want to do, because i already researched it and i dont want to compromise on some stupid exercise you want to do)
-hate making small talk over lunch (think ur avg lunchtime at any level of schooling)
-hate drinking for no reason (like ill enjoy a drink with a few friends and a meal, but im bored by the idea of 'well we could just get hammered!')
-im not very good with women, and other males probably sense this, thinking that i hurt their chances by association...
i think its mainly that im too shallow to just give up all of my pride by hanging out with nerdier people who might actually understand me better. However, im not quite shallow enough to get the attention of the more normal people...
so then i just ride about in no mans land.
you should not be ashamed of being a loner. Alot of people are loners in real life...
Find and mingle with people you can click with, that will help alot. or move to a foreign country to extrovert yourself.
The fear of poverty turns people into slaves of money.
"In this Caesar there are many Mariuses"~Sulla
Conquer your inner demons first before you conquer the world.
or move to a foreign country to extrovert yourself.
i feel i can be more blunt and direct and personal and honest when i talk english [when i'm oblivious about fine language/commincation rules] - for instance talking to a stranger: it seems to be easy in english. you could just call someone Sir. if it is odd, it assumed to be because you are a foreigner. you cant do that in germany (if german). "hallo, guten tag der herr" is only allowed for people who wear a trenchcoat and are over 70 years old. there is no "Ma'm" either. dame or fräulein .. not common in public space! being german in germany i will have to wait for an opportunity to quit a dialoge in a friendly stylish way. in english i would just do it.
I'm trying to be less of a loner these days which is working to a degree but somehow I still feel like a loner because the friends I know are unable to talk about the conversations I'm interested in. So I'm accepted now and less of an outcast if I choose not to be.
Used to be a huge longer in high school. I had about three friends, and I'd ditch them a lot and just head home to be alone. That completely changed when I got to college though High school was not fun times for me :P
The probability that I was procrastinating when I was typing this post:
P(have big assignment due) = 0.6
P(posting on TypoC) = 0.2
P(having big assignment due | posting on TypoC) = 0.7
P(posting on TypoC | having big assignment due) = .......
it gets easier to meet and hang out with people when you are natural and just yourself.
I think that half of this is right on, and half of it (for me) couldn't be farther from the truth. Meeting people after you're out of school, for me, has been extremely difficult... difficult enough to call it almost fruitless. Not being a social person, I need longterm (I'm talking 2-3 months or more, at a minimum) proximity to people before I'm comfortable talking to them even casually. School was perfect for this... an environment where you see people frequently and have, if nothing else, a common set of things to talk about and be concerned with. Work's just different... I'm sure that it depends on your field, but most of the people I work with are very work-and-family oriented, and just don't have a whole lot in common with me. And work just doesn't really seem like the place to meet friends.
Having said that... it's definitely easier to just relax and be yourself with people as you get older. I can still be a bit neurotic about it occasionally, but for the most part, it's much, much better than teens/early 20's (I'm in my mid-30's now).
But am I an outcast? Yes and no. Yes because I'm extraordinarily quiet, unsocial (but not antisocial), and most of my life consists of working and doing quiet things by myself. I'm not missed at social events, etc. because there just aren't any going on to which I'd be invited, other than a few times a year, which I make sure to attend. But this is largely self-imposed, even if not intentionally. So no.